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Annie cautiously looks across Johanna. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful."<br />
"My pleasure, Annie," says Peeta, and I hear that old note of gentleness in his voice that I thought was gone<br />
forever. Not that it's directed at me. But still.<br />
"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," Finnick tells her. He arranges both of their trays so he can<br />
carry them in one hand while holding tightly to her with the other. "Good seeing you, Peeta."<br />
"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." It could be a joke, if the tone wasn't<br />
so cold. Everything it conveys is wrong. The open distrust of Finnick, the implication that Peeta has his eye on<br />
Annie, that Annie could desert Finnick, that I do not even exist.<br />
"Oh, Peeta," says Finnick lightly. "Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart." He leads Annie away after<br />
giving me a concerned glance.<br />
When they're gone, Delly says in a reproachful voice, "He did save your life, Peeta. More than once."<br />
"For her." He gives me a brief nod. "For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything."<br />
I shouldn't rise to the bait, but I do. "Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for<br />
something."<br />
"Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss. I've got some memories I can't<br />
make sense of, and I don't think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train, for instance," he says.<br />
Again the implications. That more happened on the train than did. That what did happen--those nights I only<br />
kept my sanity because his arms were around me--no longer matters. Everything a lie, everything a way of<br />
misusing him.<br />
Peeta makes a little gesture with his spoon, connecting Gale and me. "So, are you two officially a couple<br />
now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?"<br />
"Still dragging," says Johanna.<br />
Spasms cause Peeta's hands to tighten into fists, then splay out in a bizarre fashion. Is it all he can do to<br />
keep them from my neck? I can feel the tension in Gale's muscles next to me, fear an altercation. But Gale simply<br />
says, "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself."<br />
"What's that?" asks Peeta.<br />
"You," Gale answers.<br />
"You'll have to be a little more specific," says Peeta. "What about me?"<br />
"That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself," says Johanna.<br />
Gale finishes his milk. "You done?" he asks me. I rise and we cross to drop off our trays. At the door, an old<br />
man stops me because I'm still clutching the rest of my gravy bread in my hand. Something in my expression, or<br />
maybe the fact that I've made no attempt to conceal it, makes him go easy on me. He lets me stuff the bread in<br />
my mouth and move on. Gale and I are almost to my compartment when he speaks again. "I didn't expect that."<br />
"I told you he hated me," I say.<br />
"It's the way he hates you. It's so...familiar. I used to feel like that," he admits. "When I'd watch you kissing<br />
him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that."<br />
We reach my door. "Maybe he just sees me as I really am. I have to get some sleep."<br />
Gale catches my arm before I can disappear. "So that's what you're thinking now?" I shrug. "Katniss, as<br />
your oldest friend, believe me when I say he's not seeing you as you really are." He kisses my cheek and goes.<br />
I sit on my bed, trying to stuff information from my Military Tactics books into my head while memories of my<br />
nights with Peeta on the train distract me. After about twenty minutes, Johanna comes in and throws herself<br />
across the foot of my bed. "You missed the best part. Delly lost her temper at Peeta over how he treated you.<br />
She got very squeaky. It was like someone stabbing a mouse with a fork repeatedly. The whole dining hall was<br />
riveted."<br />
"What'd Peeta do?" I ask.<br />
"He started arguing with himself like he was two people. The guards had to take him away. On the good<br />
side, no one seemed to notice I finished his stew." Johanna rubs her hand over her protruding belly. I look at the<br />
layer of grime under her fingernails. Wonder if the people in 7 ever bathe.<br />
We spend a couple of hours quizzing each other on military terms. I visit my mother and Prim for a while.<br />
When I'm back in my compartment, showered, staring into the darkness, I finally ask, "Johanna, could you really<br />
hear him screaming?"<br />
"That was part of it," she says. "Like the jabberjays in the arena. Only it was real. And it didn't stop after an<br />
hour. Tick, tock."<br />
"Tick, tock," I whisper back.