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Finnick and I gravitate toward each other in the hallway. "What will I tell Annie?" he says under his breath.<br />
"Nothing," I answer. "That's what my mother and sister will be hearing from me." Bad enough that we know<br />
we're heading back into a fully equipped arena. No use dropping it on our loved ones.<br />
"If she sees that holograph--" he begins.<br />
"She won't. It's classified information. It must be," I say. "Anyway, it's not like an actual Games. Any number<br />
of people will survive. We're just overreacting because--well, you know why. You still want to go, don't you?"<br />
"Of course. I want to destroy Snow as much as you do," he says.<br />
"It won't be like the others," I say firmly, trying to convince myself as well. Then the real beauty of the<br />
situation dawns on me. "This time Snow will be a player, too."<br />
Before we can continue, Haymitch appears. He wasn't at the meeting, isn't thinking of arenas but<br />
something else. "Johanna's back in the hospital."<br />
I assumed Johanna was fine, had passed her exam, but simply wasn't assigned to a sharpshooters' unit.<br />
She's wicked throwing an ax but about average with a gun. "Is she hurt? What happened?"<br />
"It was while she was on the Block. They try to ferret out a soldier's potential weaknesses. So they flooded<br />
the street," says Haymitch.<br />
This doesn't help. Johanna can swim. At least, I seem to remember her swimming around some in the<br />
Quarter Quell. Not like Finnick, of course, but none of us are like Finnick. "So?"<br />
"That's how they tortured her in the Capitol. Soaked her and then used electric shocks," says Haymitch. "In<br />
the Block she had some kind of flashback. Panicked, didn't know where she was. She's back under sedation."<br />
Finnick and I just stand there, as if we've lost the ability to respond. I think of the way Johanna never showers.<br />
How she forced herself into the rain like it was acid that day. I had attributed her misery to the morphling<br />
withdrawal.<br />
"You two should go see her. You're as close to friends as she's got," says Haymitch.<br />
That makes the whole thing worse. I don't really know what's between Johanna and Finnick. But I hardly<br />
know her. No family. No friends. Not so much as a token from 7 to set beside her regulation clothes in her<br />
anonymous drawer. Nothing.<br />
"I better go tell Plutarch. He won't be happy," Haymitch continues. "He wants as many victors as possible<br />
for the cameras to follow in the Capitol. Thinks it makes for better television."<br />
"Are you and Beetee going?" I ask.<br />
"As many young and attractive victors as possible," Haymitch corrects himself. "So, no. We'll be here."<br />
Finnick goes directly down to see Johanna, but I linger outside a few minutes until Boggs comes out. He's<br />
my commander now, so I guess he's the one to ask for any special favors. When I tell him what I want to do, he<br />
writes me a pass so that I can go to the woods during Reflection, provided I stay within sight of the guards. I run<br />
to my compartment, thinking to use the parachute, but it's so full of ugly memories. Instead, I go across the hall<br />
and take one of the white cotton bandages I brought from 12. Square. Sturdy. Just the thing.<br />
In the woods, I find a pine tree and strip handfuls of fragrant needles from the boughs. After making a neat<br />
pile in the middle of the bandage, I gather up the sides, give them a twist, and tie them tightly with a length of<br />
vine, making an apple-sized bundle.<br />
At the hospital room door, I watch Johanna for a moment, realize that most of her ferocity is in her abrasive<br />
attitude. Stripped of that, as she is now, there's only a slight young woman, her wide-set eyes fighting to stay<br />
awake against the power of the drugs. Terrified of what sleep will bring. I cross to her and hold out the bundle.<br />
"What's that?" she says hoarsely. Damp edges of her hair form little spikes over her forehead.<br />
"I made it for you. Something to put in your drawer." I place it in her hands. "Smell it."<br />
She lifts the bundle to her nose and takes a tentative sniff. "Smells like home." Tears flood her eyes.<br />
"That's what I was hoping. You being from Seven and all," I say. "Remember when we met? You were a<br />
tree. Well, briefly."<br />
Suddenly, she has my wrist in an iron grip. "You have to kill him, Katniss."<br />
"Don't worry." I resist the temptation to wrench my arm free.<br />
"Swear it. On something you care about," she hisses.<br />
"I swear it. On my life." But she doesn't let go of my arm.<br />
"On your family's life," she insists.<br />
"On my family's life," I repeat. I guess my concern for my own survival isn't compelling enough. She lets go<br />
and I rub my wrist. "Why do you think I'm going, anyway, brainless?"<br />
That makes her smile a little. "I just needed to hear it." She presses the bundle of pine needles to her nose