Mocking Jay

As I turn to go suit up as the Mockingjay, I catch Gale watching me and Finnick unhappily. What now? Does
he actually think something's going on between us? Maybe he saw me go to Finnick's last night. I would've
passed the Hawthornes' space to get there. I guess that probably rubbed him the wrong way. Me seeking out
Finnick's company instead of his. Well, fine. I've got rope burn on my fingers, I can barely hold my eyes open, and
a camera crew's waiting for me to do something brilliant. And Snow's got Peeta. Gale can think whatever he
wants.
In my new Remake Room in Special Defense, my prep team slaps me into my Mockingjay suit, arranges
my hair, and applies minimal makeup before my coffee's even cooled. In ten minutes, the cast and crew of the
next propos are making the circuitous trek to the outside. I slurp my coffee as we travel, finding that the cream
and sugar greatly enhance its flavor. As I knock back the dregs that have settled to the bottom of the cup, I feel a
slight buzz start to run through my veins.
After climbing a final ladder, Boggs hits a lever that opens a trapdoor. Fresh air rushes in. I take big gulps
and for the first time allow myself to feel how much I hated the bunker. We emerge into the woods, and my hands
run through the leaves overhead. Some are just starting to turn. "What day is it?" I ask no one in particular. Boggs
tells me September begins next week.
September. That means Snow has had Peeta in his clutches for five, maybe six weeks. I examine a leaf on
my palm and see I'm shaking. I can't will myself to stop. I blame the coffee and try to focus on slowing my
breathing, which is far too rapid for my pace.
Debris begins to litter the forest floor. We come to our first crater, thirty yards wide and I can't tell how deep.
Very. Boggs says anyone on the first ten levels would likely have been killed. We skirt the pit and continue on.
"Can you rebuild it?" Gale asks.
"Not anytime soon. That one didn't get much. A few backup generators and a poultry farm," says Boggs.
"We'll just seal it off."
The trees disappear as we enter the area inside the fence. The craters are ringed with a mixture of old and
new rubble. Before the bombing, very little of the current 13 was aboveground. A few guard stations. The training
area. About a foot of the top floor of our building--where Buttercup's window jutted out--with several feet of steel
on top of it. Even that was never meant to withstand more than a superficial attack.
"How much of an edge did the boy's warning give you?" asks Haymitch.
"About ten minutes before our own systems would've detected the missiles," says Boggs.
"But it did help, right?" I ask. I can't bear it if he says no.
"Absolutely," Boggs replies. "Civilian evacuation was completed. Seconds count when you're under attack.
Ten minutes meant lives saved."
Prim, I think. And Gale. They were in the bunker only a couple of minutes before the first missile hit. Peeta
might have saved them. Add their names to the list of things I can never stop owing him for.
Cressida has the idea to film me in front of the ruins of the old Justice Building, which is something of a
joke since the Capitol's been using it as a backdrop for fake news broadcasts for years, to show that the district
no longer existed. Now, with the recent attack, the Justice Building sits about ten yards away from the edge of a
new crater.
As we approach what used to be the grand entrance, Gale points out something and the whole party slows
down. I don't know what the problem is at first and then I see the ground strewn with fresh pink and red roses.
"Don't touch them!" I yell. "They're for me!"
The sickeningly sweet smell hits my nose, and my heart begins to hammer against my chest. So I didn't
imagine it. The rose on my dresser. Before me lies Snow's second delivery. Long-stemmed pink and red
beauties, the very flowers that decorated the set where Peeta and I performed our post-victory interview. Flowers
not meant for one, but for a pair of lovers.
I explain to the others as best I can. Upon inspection, they appear to be harmless, if genetically enhanced,
flowers. Two dozen roses. Slightly wilted. Most likely dropped after the last bombing. A crew in special suits
collects them and carts them away. I feel certain they will find nothing extraordinary in them, though. Snow knows
exactly what he's doing to me. It's like having Cinna beaten to a pulp while I watch from my tribute tube. Designed
to unhinge me.
Like then, I try to rally and fight back. But as Cressida gets Castor and Pollux in place, I feel my anxiety
building. I'm so tired, so wired, and so unable to keep my mind on anything but Peeta since I've seen the roses.
The coffee was a huge mistake. What I didn't need was a stimulant. My body visibly shakes and I can't seem to
catch my breath. After days in the bunker, I'm squinting no matter what direction I turn, and the light hurts. Even in