Group Analytic Contexts, Issue 77, September 2017

54 Group-Analytic Society International - Contexts
them told us: "I will help you", but for, what seemed to be, a very long
time they spoke between themselves in Turkish, not translating a word,
not answering any of our questions, and we started to feel more and
more like refugees, dependent on the good will of the host, not
understanding at all what was going on
It was at that time that we took a decision: let's write for
Contexts about this experience – unconsciously it must be a
continuation of the conference. Thinking about writing was a
necessity to help cope with the situation. Only afterwards we thought
that writing for Contexts felt like writing to our (professional) family,
in order not to feel so lost and with no land. At that moment GASi was
our land.
While standing at the desk, waiting to be helped, we had
associations like: is she going to send us to the right side (death) or to
the left side (life).
After what seemed an endless time, while both our passports
were taken, she said: "I am going to give you new tickets for
tomorrow’s flight early in the morning. You will be taken by a shuttle
to the hotel in the city. Now you have to go to the passport control."
They did not charge any money for the change.
Our fears changed to gratefulness for their generosity. At that
time, we thought of a possible title for what we want to write for
Contexts: "Generosity and Fear".
Istanbul airport is huge. We found the passport control and
in front of it there was a very long spiral like line. Almost all the people
in that hall were dressed like Muslims. In these two-hours we were the
bare minority engulfed in a serpent of people, feeling looked at by
eyes behind the burkas. They turned at once to be the dangerous Other.
We felt like our perspectives were narrowing and at the same time
mirroring our suspicion and fear. It was a weird experience in which
we were simultaneously both the object of the experiment and the
researchers. The need to hide our identity (Israeli) made us talk in
English. Afterwards, at the hotel, several people asked us in a very
friendly way: "where are you from" and we answered Germany (still
in Berlin) and then changed it to England, in case someone talked to
us in German – a language we do not speak.
We took turns in holding the anxiety. While standing at the
connecting-flights desk, realizing that we missed our flight, Bracha
felt very anxious. Not understanding the Turkish language and with
conduct which augmented the anxiety. Anca told Bracha to stop
asking so many questions, which Bracha could not contain, at that time,
inside. During the flight, and also at the airport, we kept hearing