Group Analytic Contexts, Issue 77, September 2017

Newsletter – Autumn 2017 57
myself. Even so, each new interaction must be negotiated. Some just
happen. No thought needed. Generally, I will talk to anybody who
talks to me. So much do I like this that I often don’t ask myself
whether I want to engage with that person. I am only aware of my
wish to connect. In that minute pre-connection, a border is crossed.
Whether connection happens – and with it the subsequent feeling of
good will – depends on a willingness on both sides to connect.
In the moment that the other person approaches, I assess: Is
this person friendly? Would this person like to speak? Is this person
in a hurry/pre-occupied/ has another date/ doesn’t speak much English?
Do they guess that I would like to speak? The moment is quickly over
and if I happen to look down to negotiate a step the moment is passed
- the approacher has taken this as my not wanting to speak and we pass
each other distantly.
The first time I led a workshop, realising that because of my
role, there were people in the group who felt intimidated to talk to me
was a shock. It showed me that it is important for the person in the
authority role to be especially available to those who might not feel
comfortable in stepping forward.
The small group daily felt more real. Here some of these
feelings could be explored. Aware of the gravity of the conference
focus, it felt that here was a place where I could learn to make sense
of it. Against the backdrop of the vastness of the topic the impacted
on us could be talked about though some struggled to keep it nonpersonal.
Sometimes what was talked about seems to have little
connection to the theme of the symposium and I sensed that some felt
uncomfortable with this – what has this to do with the topic? My
belief is that it was very much connected but we were often not able
to understand why. I also needed to be aware that because something
impacts on me it doesn’t mean it is true and like a dream which is
meaningful to the dreamer but may not be a universal truth. Also,
what may feel trivial to one person can be important to another and
that whatever is said in a group has meaning.
The breakfast
Breakfast with 630 people? Through this sea of faces how to get
something to eat from the vast array and where to sit? Several things
might go on. First you look for your friendship group. If you have
arrived at the conference knowing no one, you might look for
somebody you have connected with during the day. Connections to
do with language, nationality suddenly feel safe. Colleagues, even