BLUSH Winter 2019

BLUSH | LEISURE & LIFESTYLE
Then I was not.
And so, it goes; The weight goes off. The weight
goes on.
I call bullsh*t
I am guilty, I admit that I applaud publicly the ‘plus-sized’
advocates calling out body shaming, all the while quickly
calculating in my head just what their weight or measurements
are in relation to my own. Then I am horrified when I discover
image. But to be fair, this is my issue. Maybe you are happy to
refrain from sugar, eat Paleo and exercise every day at the gym...
good for you! I actually truly applaud you. I can’t do this myself.
I swing from restrictive eating to all in my mouth, the classic yoyo
dieter. Simply put, I have zero will power. I will plan and plot,
write away my life, desperately hoping I will wake up motivated
and inspired, nope. I have tried 5:2. I have tried apple cider
vinegar, turmeric, cayenne pepper, still no! Juicers, teas, nope!
I shame myself with unflattering underwear photos, bribery,
rewards, still nothing.... no inner Goddess emerging from the
depths into form.
You must be thinking, ‘wow she must be huge,’... nope,
not huge. I am just not the shape I had decided I’d be at some
stage in my life. Therefore, my life is somehow not quite right,
which, by the way is also not true... my life is pretty dang epic.
See what I am getting at here? There is nothing wrong with my
shape, bit soft and pudgy, but I am healthy and fairly fit, and my
life is blessed.
Flaws and all
those bodies that are plus-sized are actually smaller than I am,
or the luscious curvy girls on Instagram are the same size, and
all that bravo goes out the window as I shrink away privately
disgusted at the shape on display – MY shape. But why? I am
asking this seriously because, what am I really afraid of? Who
decided what I want to look like? When did I subscribe to that?
And am I that stupid or vain?
Okay, quite a few serious questions there!
My harshest critic
Kim-Maree
I started this article to look back at the crazy sh*t I have a
tendency to do when trying to diet and to feel better about
the way I look. As you have probably gathered it turned into a
rant about evil social media, expectations, and unrealistic body
Well I say Fu*k it. I am this mid-year making a deal with me
and my inner Goddess... yes, she’s still there somewhere!
I will be healthy, I will exercise because I like it, so I will
just do the stuff at the gym I enjoy or that makes me feel
satisfied. I will eat what I feel like just knowing that takes
away 90% of my need for crappy foods. I am going to take
time out in my day for ME, in whatever shape that may be
– it could be yoga, meditation or crocheting, I will decide
as I please. I am never going to be that size again; the
smaller version I once was! Nor will I be twenty again, and
that’s okay. I have done a lot in this Earth suit – it has held
babies, rocked bikinis, and walked down the aisle, and up
mountains... so, I will just let my body be what it is today,
and as for tomorrow, who knows.
We cannot predict what the future holds – but our
choices no matter what life throws our way, are our own...
and this mid-year resolution for me includes the following:
To eat cake at my workplace morning teas; take long
walks; wear my special occasions clothes - whenever I want;
wear lipstick every day; use the best china for burgers,
because let’s face it whatever it is you think you’re saving it
all for may never actually come. My aim is to be my version
of healthy; move how I feel; dance to my music; sleep far
too much and love every dang minute of my blessed life no
matter what my dress size is.
To all the people out there, aside from what I say or
any other person with an opinion says, know that it will
be your journey with your body; your essence... so be
true to your path; strive for your true self. And get some
sleep. Turn off the screens – APPs and all, and be an active
participant in life.
Rant done!
www.movingom.wordpress.com
sevenstarmedia.co.uk
BLUSH | WINTER 2019 53