The Vegas Voice 4-21

Oh, Grandma!
By: Gayla Kalp / Life is Laughter
was visiting my grandchildren in Colorado.
I During my visit, I was laughing constantly at
what they said.
It reminded me of Art Linkletter’s “Kids Say The
Darndest Things.” I decided to ask my friends to give me quotes from
their grandchildren. I want to share them with you.
If you have some terrific quotes or stories, please write me care of The
Vegas Voice and I will share them in another article.
While visiting my grandchildren, I was taking a shower. My
grandchildren, ages 3 and 5, abruptly opened the shower door and
announced: “Oh, Grandma! You are a Monster!”
Before I could persuade them to shut the door, they proceeded to
point out all my physical flaws and ask why things on my body were
flat, hanging, wrinkled, large, fuzzy, spotted, etc. compared to their
mother. They asked why my body was like that.
I told them that as you get older, your body gets old and looks like
mine. My granddaughter then asked how old was I? I answered, 73.
To this she exclaimed in astonishment, “And you’re not dead yet?!”
My friend, who visits her grandchildren, told me they think she lives
at the airport. That when they want to visit her, they just go to the
airport….pick her up…play with her at their home….and when they
are through playing with her…..take her back to the airport where
she lives!
I raised my
daughter well,
however, every
once in a while,
she said the
“funniest things.”
When she was
four, she received
a gift from a
friend. I asked her
“What do you say to Mrs. Smith for the gift?” She looked very puzzled,
and then blurted out “MINE.”
After blowing out her birthday candles, I asked her what she wished
for and she innocently said, “A mansion and a few servants.” Hey, me
too!
Another friend always blots her lips after applying her lipstick. One
day she was with her grandson and didn’t do this, then started to leave.
Her grandson, in horror, screamed out, “Grandma! You forgot to kiss
the toilet paper goodbye!”
Grandkids say the funniest things!!
Gayla is a speaker, author, psychologist and humorist. She has
been a guest speaker for television and radio programs, plus a
featured speaker for business and charity organizations. She also
happens to be Ms. Sr. California, Nevada and Universe England.
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