The Vegas Voice 4-21

Adam and Eve... and Their Dog
By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
Men and women - the never-ending game.
The mystery…the temptress and the
tempted…the Adam and the Eve…the one who
can dress for a wedding in a minute and the one
who starts laying out
“ensembles” the day after
someone’s proposal is
announced.
Two random episodes:
Sitting outside a
restaurant, after leaving
the smoky bar to get some
fresh air. (Who knew
bars were still smoky? I
thought the only place
anybody in the country
could sneak a Camel
now was the basement of
an abandoned tobacco warehouse in Georgia.)
People who smoke, in my humble opinion, are nuts, not to mention
smelly, but I don’t believe in legislating EVERYTHING IN THE
UNIVERSE from leaf-blowers to car seats – don’t you have to ride in a
car seat until you’re, like, twenty-three now?
And if somebody wants to light up, it’s his decision, bless his overtaxed
heart – but back to my tale.
So, I’m sitting on a little stone wall, and about ten feet away are
two girls and a guy, sipping drinks and talking earnestly. One girl had
broken up with her boyfriend “because, God, he is SO not ready to
commit, you know? I mean, I’m like ready to get married and have
kids, and he’s all like ‘What?’ and I just said, God, forget it.”
The other girl says, “Yeah, he doesn’t sound real mature, but you’re
already a Mom. You have Toby!”
The first girl giggles, “Yeah, Toby’s my baby! Same thing!” (Umm…
Fine. Whatever.)
But, the second girl goes on, “No, honestly, I truly believe, like,
walking a dog is the same as, like, changing a diaper, really. When
Dave walks Chester, I think that totally shows he’s ready to take care of
a baby, you know?”
Now, Dave (who has wisely stayed quiet so far) snorts involuntarily
into his beer and almost needs CPR.
This is the younger generation? They think walking a dog is the same
as changing a diaper, which is also, of course, the main prerequisite for
becoming a parent?
I recently visited my son and the new baby. Robby answered the door,
his eyes wide as if he’d been hit with a stun gun.
Behind him, Mommy was bouncing the crying baby, laundry was
piled on the couch, baby equipment had overtaken the dining room,
and dishes, bottles and pots covered the kitchen counters.
His first words to me were not “Hello” or “Hey, Mom”, but “HOW DO
PEOPLE DO THIS?!”
As I remember that, I myself, snort involuntarily and almost fall off
the little stone wall!
The second male-female encounter involved our neighbors, a couple
with three young adult kids, a mortgage, and a great sense of humor.
They came by last night and we talked in the driveway for a few minutes.
The wife then said, “Come on, Pooh (not his real name) you
promised we’d just stop
for a minute and then
take our walk.”
Pooh looked at me,
mystified. “Can you
believe it? The kids are
out, the house is empty. I
say, ‘Snugglebunny (not
her real name either) we
need some quality time.’”
He wiggles his
eyebrows. “And she wants
to take a walk!” She
smacks him playfully on the arm.
Always thinking outside the box, I say, “Why don’t you split the
difference and run really hard from here back home and up to your
bedroom, and then…uh…burn some additional calories for the next
few hours?”
She smacks me on the arm, too, and off they go, still teasing
contentedly after 25 years.
As I watch them go, I wonder when it was that they realized changing
a diaper wasn’t all there was to parenthood. And, I notice, also, that they
don’t have a dog.
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com.
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You Think?
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Publisher Dan at: dan@
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