Uncle Andy's Digest July 2021

UNCLE
ANDY’S
DIGEST SINCE
Celebrating
Years
JULY
2021
1996
207-782-7113
Get Your FREE
Quote Today!
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
DAILY, WEEKLY, & MONTHLY
RENTALS AVAILABLE!
For details, call Ryan Kennard
207-346-0279
GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Whited Equipment Co. is your
New Factory Authorized Hyundai
Construction Equipment dealer
for Central & Southern Maine.
New & used available!
Sales • Lease • Rentals
Parts & Service
Uncle Andy’s Digest
whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 1

If the point of golf is to hit the ball as few times as possible, if I don’t play at all do I win?
Summer is here!
We are hauling
pool water!
Pool Builders
OF MAINE
CALL US FOR ALL YOUR POOL NEEDS!
10 Business Parkway Turner • 207-225-2013
www.deepcleanjs.com
deepcleanjs@yahoo.com
10% REFERRAL BONUS
Know someone searching for a new cleaning company?
Mention this ad to them and we will pay you 10% of their full invoice when they hire us!
PROFESSIONALISM | QUALITY | RELIABILITY
Excellence in commercial cleaning &
janitorial services when you choose
Deep Clean Janitorial Services
207-712-2765
Commercial/Office
Construction Sites
Apartment Turnovers
Floors/Tile/Carpets
COVID-19:
Disinfecting services to help keep your
employees and customers safe.
I used to eat Rice Krispies as a kid. Now as an adult, I snap, krackle, and pop.

Washing dishes can be very draining.
I’m Leaving
You
Submitted by Steve Simard
A woman, cranky
because her husband
was late coming home
again, decided to leave
him a note.
“I’ve had enough and
have left you. Don’t
bother coming after
me,” the note read.
Then she hid under
the bed to see his
reaction. After a short
while, the husband
comes home and
she could hear him in
the kitchen before he
comes into the bedroom.
She could see
him walk towards the
dresser and pick up
the note.
After a few minutes,
he wrote something
on it before picking up
the phone and calling
someone.
“She’s finally gone...
yeah I know, about
bloody time. I’m coming
to see you and we
can have some fun. I
love you.”
He hung up, grabbed
his keys and left. She
heard the car drive off
as she came out from
under the bed. Seething
with rage and with
tears in her eyes she
grabbed the note to
see what he wrote.
“I can see your feet.
We’re out of bread. Be
back in five minutes.”
The only thing common between a stork and an obstetrician is the long bill.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 3

Uncle Andy’s Digest
is published by the first
Friday of every month by
Maine Mountain Ocean
Group, Inc. with its world
headquarters located at
9 Grove Street, Auburn,
Maine, USA.
Published and distributed
since 1996 throughout
Central Maine and mailed to
subscribers all over the Free
World. Subscriptions are
$36/year.
UncleAndysDigest.com
Office: 207-783-7039
UAD Super Heroes
I’m competing for that stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.
SMILE AGAIN DENTURES
CAPTAIN
JIMBO
IRONSIDES
STEVE
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
4
WONDER
WOMAN
TYLA
BATGIRL
STEPHANIE
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries
very hard to ensure the accuracy
of the information in our clients’
advertisements and our publication
in general, we are not responsible
for vendor availability, typographical
errors, technical inaccuracies, product
pricing errors, or omissions.
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
Smile In
Comfort
Call us today for:
• Full Dentures
• Immediate Dentures
• Partial Dentures
• Rebases
• Relines
• Repairs
Like Our Name Implies,
We’ll Make You
SMILE AGAIN
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Repairs usually same day service!
Call today
for a
FREE
consultation!
Joe & Mike
Adkins
Licensed
Denturists
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
smileagaindentures@gmail.com • SmileAgainDentures.com
514-0660
When two glow-worms met in the dark, it was larva at first sight.

The conversation between the brain surgeon and the
anesthesiologist was mind numbing.
MONDAY
Ham Italians
Sm $2.29 Lg. $3.99
WEDNESDAY
Chicken Salad
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
FRIDAY
Tuna Italian
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
SUNDAY
$2.00 OFF
Any large pizza
MAIN STREET MARKET
2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502
Hours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a week
TUESDAY
Small 1-topping Pizza
10" pizza $4.99
THURSDAY
Bowl of Chili
$4.49
B.L.T.
Sm. $2.99
Lg. $4.99
SATURDAY
Baked Beans
Pint $3.99 Quart $4.99
Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49
Breakfast Sandwiches $2.29
Hash browns 2/$1.59
Coffee all sizes $0.99
We accept cash, checks,
major credit/debit cards, & EBT
Sweater is a pretty disgusting name for a piece of clothing.
Live your most balanced, centered life
Out ‘n About at
Fishermen’s Net
in Gray
There’s plenty
of fish in the sea,
but The Digest is
the one for me!
Nikki Canney
Owner
Everything
here at
Fishermen’s Net
in Gray is so good,
but if I ate it all,
I’d be stuffed
to the gills!
CRYSTALS
TUMBLED STONES
SALT LAMPS
FIGURINES
JEWELRY
CANDLES/INCENSE
SPIRIT ANIMALS
CHAKRA ITEMS
And More
120 Center Street #107, Auburn • 207-241-2356
Maine Mall, South Portland • 207-274-2539
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Brooke Hewey
Eliza Hotham
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 5

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Out ‘n About in Auburn
Give your home the protection it deserves.
Your home is where you make some of your
best memories, and that’s worth protecting.
LET’S TALK TODAY.
Celebrating our
23 year anniversary at
the New Auburn Village Block
Party! Once the rain
started, we ran for cover at the
American Legion Post 153!
A few raindrops weren’t
going to spoil
our big day!
Tiger & Erica Ladd
Pulled Over
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Jimmy got pulled over
by the police on his
way home from work
one night.
After taking his license
and registration, the
cop asked, “Before I
go run your information
through our system,
do you have a police
record?”
“No, but I have three
Sting albums.”
Whenever there’s an outage, your KOHLER generator keeps
your internet on, your fridge cold and your family protected.
• Generator Sales and Installations
• Residential and Small Commercial
Electrical Service
Over 50 years of Trusted Professionalism
“MY GENERATOR IS MAGIC.
WE NEVER LOSE POWER.”
- ALEX L., KOHLER ® generator owner
1033 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
www.debloiselectric.com
207-783-6512
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
6 July 2021 783-7039
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
Hot Water Heater Need Replacing?
Out ‘n About at
Fishermen’s Net
in Gray
ACT NOW!
Efficiency Maine Rebate
is a limited time offer.
Don’t miss out!
Direct
replacement of
an existing
electric hot
water heater
Final Cost after
discounts and rebates:
$ 1,224 .00*
*Plus permit costs
CALL MIKE TODAY!
207-754-4556
Mike@upwi.net
Plumbing & Heating • Oil • Gas
Residential • Commercial / 24 hour Emergency Service
Deborah Baker
You’ll never
see two fish in
business together because
they are sole
proprietors
The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?
Gary Scheuchzer
NEW UNITS, CLEAN & DRY!
I saw a
singing fish once in a
choral reef.
Online Account
Management
Online
Rental
Well Lit Facility
w/Security Cameras
GATED ACCESS
Coming Soon!
The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around,
you’re not going anywhere.
Kassidy Plummer
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 7

Out ‘n About at
Fishermen’s Net
in Gray
This little
guy asked me to
take him out of the
lobster pool for a bit.
He said he was getting
clawstrophobic
in there!
The United States is a free country where every man can do as his wife pleases.
Great Rates • Great Service • Great Staff
Move your
loan to us
for great rates!
Payson
Huntington
All these fish
jokes are hilarious!
You guys are
krilling it!
Great Falls
Federal Credit Union
www.GreatFallsfcu.com
34 Bates St, Lewiston • 782-7192
760 Minot Ave., Auburn • 753-0500
If the world is spinning so quickly why don’t we all get dizzy?
Sharon Snence
Did You Know?
Every July 4th,
descendants of the
signers of the Declaration
of Independence
tap the Liberty Bell
13 times in honor of
the original 13
colonies.
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
We Are Standing Strong!
Our Executive Officers, staff, and
volunteers will continue to take necessary
precautions to ensure safety for all.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN FULLY VACCINATED,
MASKS ARE NO LONGER REQUIRED.
IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN FULLY
VACCINATED, PLEASE WEAR YOUR
MASK WHENEVER POSSIBLE.
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
Members & Guests Welcome
NEW HOURS: Monday through Thursday: 12p-6p
Friday & Saturday: 12p-9p • Sunday: 11a-6p
Our bar is open! Ask about our drink specials!
SUNDAY, JULY 4 TH
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
MONTHLY MEETING
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21 ST
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM
GENERAL MEETING, 7PM
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS
WEAR YOUR R.E.D. SHIRT & SURPRISE!
SEE YOU AT THE POST!
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Due to COVID-19/Coronavirus, all activities
are subject to change. Follow us on Facebook page for updates.
Bloody Mary Sundays by Kevin from 11a-6p!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
8 July 2021 783-7039
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they
left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

July
Special
Your one-stop shop for:
• Amazing food (eat in or take out)
• Agency liquor store with beer cave
• Lottery tickets
• Redemption center
Chicken Cordon
Bleu Sandwich
w/chips
Only $
7 .50
Full serve catering at the
location of your choice.
Book Your
2021 & 2022
Events Now!
207-345-9009
DadsPlaceCatering.com
207-345-5551
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com
Catering
Dad’s Redemption Center
6¢ a
bottle for
Make-A-Wish
Donations!
Redemption Center is
directly behind Dad’s Place
DONATE YOUR
BOTTLES TO
Help grant a wish to a local child
battling a critical illness
See our redemption ad on page 43.

Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
One day I’ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
Mel’s
Hilltop at
Poland Spring
resort is the place
to be on a Friday
evening! Great food
and drinks, fantastic
view, and Denny
Breau plays every
Friday from
6-8pm!
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Serving Breakfast All Day!
87 Mill Street, New Auburn • 753-0171
Amber
Henderson
Loaded Omelette
w/home fries, grilled onions,
& Texas Toast
RollysNewAuburn.com
Mon – Sat 6 am – 2 pm,
Sunday Closed
Golf season
is in full swing!
There is no better
19th hole than the
patio at Mel’s!
My older sister is tired of me calling her the beta release.
Out ‘n About at Fishermen’s Net in Gray
They
should
crank up the
tunes!
Mark Bosse
General Manager
Yeah! Play
something
catchy!
Scott Graffam
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
10 July 2021 783-7039
Brooke Hewey & Payson Huntington weigh the lobsters
Don’t complain to me. When I was a kid, we actually had to get
out of the car and OPEN the garage door.

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE
Come check out our summer menu!
SAVE THE DATE!
SATURDAY, AUG. 14 TH
EVERY MONDAY
20% OFF
All Burgers
30% OFF
All Drafts
hosted by
We Cater!
Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays,
Corporate Parties, and more!
No event too BIG or SMALL...
We cater it ALL!
Come experience
why the
locals eat here!
July is the
perfect grilling
month. Get your
steaks here!
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
Golfing
has to wait... I
was taking photos of
Denny for an upcoming
story in LA Metro
Magazine!
Jose Leiva
Make sure
to get my good
side, Jose!
Croutons are a great comeback story.
Bread no one ate yesterday becomes the best part of the salad today.
FIESTA WEDNESDAYS AT THATCHER’S!
$5.99 for 3 beef tacos and $6 well margaritas!
207-782-2135 Auburn Mall
Mon. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
I always wanted to be a monk but never got the chants.
DAILY SPECIALS
MONDAY
75¢ Wings
Cheeseburger Special $6.99
Cincinnati Spaghetti $7.99
25oz domestic drafts $4.00
TUESDAY
75¢ Wings
Fried Pickle Basket $4.99
Thatcher’s Burger $7.99
25oz domestic drafts $4.00
WEDNESDAY
3 Beef Tacos $5.99
Thatcher’s Burrito $7.99
Well Margaritas $6 • Coronas $3
THURSDAY
Stuffed Peppers $7.99
Buffalo Chicken Salad $11.99
All Microbrews $4.00
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket $6.99
Fish & Chips $11.99
Teriyaki Tips w/mashed $14.99
SATURDAY
Fried Scallops $15.99
2 Hot Dogs w/fries $6.99
Miller Lite Bottles $2.50
SUNDAY
12" Cheese Pizza $6.99
Bloody Mary’s $6
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts $2.50
Out ‘n About at Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant in Poland
for the Denny Breau Concert
Denny Breau
Hey Denny,
do you know the
Baby Shark song?
Thanks!
I taught it
everything it
knows!
You know,
your camera takes
really nice
pictures!
Georgia Falso
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
12 July 2021 783-7039
Jose Leiva & Denny Breau
Polynesia – memory loss in parrots.

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.
Fishermen’s Net Gray
Bringing the Ocean to your Table
Take out, Dine in, Live Lobster,
& Homemade Goods
207-657-3474
59c Portland Road, Gray
• REGISTERED ANGUS
• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF
• MEAT PACKAGES
• GIFT CERTIFICATES
BURGER • STEAKS • ROASTS
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
INSPECTED
Hours:
Mon. 11a-5p
Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p
Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p
Sun. 10a-5p
Roebucks Angus
Tell us you saw us in
Uncle Andy’s!
Visit, call, or text us
We Always Have
Specials!
Follow us on Facebook
for information on
Burger Night!
jay - 207.754.1558
sue - 207.754.6558
783 UPPER ST. • TURNER
•Brewery•taproom•Café•Pinky D’s Food truck•Coffee by Design•
«
«
Fill up your growlers before heading upta’ camp!
«
Phone in your order ahead of time
«
«
Order online
Come in and have a pint while we
fill a growler fresh to order!
Sleepover
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Steve was over at
Jimbo’s house one
day playing cornhole.
All of a sudden, it
started raining cats
and dogs and the two
men ran inside to take
cover. After a couple
of hours, there was no
sign of the rain letting
up.
“I can’t let you go out
in this storm,” Jimbo
said. “Why don’t you
just crash here for
tonight?”
“Yeah, that sounds like
a good idea,” Steve
responded.
So Jimbo went into
the guest bedroom to
make up the bed with
new sheets and leave
fresh towels for
Steve.
As Jimbo was working,
he heard a knock
on the door. Jimbo
hurried to go answer
it. When he opened
the door, there stood
Steve, soaking wet
and shivering from the
cold rain.
“Steve, what are you
doing? Why are you
outside?” Jimbo
questioned.
1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN
207.689.3030
/SIDEBYEACHBREWING
WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM
* PLEASE VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR SUMMER HOURS
“Well, if I was staying
here overnight, I had
to go home and get my
pajamas first.”
I started my own garbage business; now I’m filthy rich.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 13

Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
Free
concerts at
work? Feel free to
be jealous of
my job!
I’m okay with getting older, but my body is taking it badly.
Topsham Tractor & Equipment
Emily Champagne
Just call me the
stair master!
207-209-2000
403 Lewiston Road, Topsham • Open: 8-5 Mon-Fri / 8-2 Sat
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
Out ‘n About at Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant in Poland
for the Denny Breau Concert
Pam Mallard
Sing it with
me, Denny! I’ve
got the Trappedin-a-Highchair-
Blues!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
14
Steve & Laurie
Soherr
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
Georgia Falso & Denny Breau
My husband said I don’t do enough work around the house.
It’s like he thinks this Facebook account just runs itself!

My doctor said I should eat better. With what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
We’ve got you covered!
How Dad Are
You?
Submitted by
Stephanie Arsenault
How many have
you or your dad said?
q “I guess it’s free
then.”
(when a cashier
has trouble scanning
an item)
q “Looks like we’ll
have to amputate.”
(when a child has a
minor injury)
Peoples Insurance - Monmouth
832 Main Street, Monmouth
(207) 777-1877 or (888) 783-2246
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Peoples Insurance - Ogunquit
716 Main Street, Ogunquit
(207) 646-7118 or (877) 840-7118
q “Let’s rock ’n roll.”
(when it’s time to
leave)
Pinkham Insurance
8 Almar Street, Farmingdale
(207) 626-5810 or (866) 626-5820
Champoux Insurance Agency
150 East Avenue, Lewiston
(207) 783-2246
(888) 783-2246
Rogers Insurance
38 Main Street, Lisbon Falls
(207) 353-6834 or (888) 353-6833
q “No, you’re other
right.”
(when someone
mistakes left for
right)
I was raised as an only child. It really annoyed my sister.
DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
NEXT? WE DO. ®
For any disaster,
call ServiceMaster!
q “What’s the
damage?”
(when looking at a
bill)
q “I was just resting
my eyes.”
(after falling asleep
on the couch)
q “I guess they’ll let
anyone in here.”
(when seeing a
friend in public)
q “Hey, where you
going?”
(when someone
misses their turn
driving)
WATER FIRE MOLD
29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn
(800) 244-7630
(207) 539-4452
www.smfireandwater.com
www.smcarpetcleaning.com
q “Can’t get far
without these.”
(after forgetting
keys)
Continued on next page
According to my neighbor’s diary, I have boundary issues.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 15

Continued from previous page
q “People don’t know
how to drive in this
town.”
(in every town
you’re in)
q “We needed this
rain.”
(every time it rains)
q “That’s how they
get you.”
(after declining an
extended warranty)
q “MOOOOOOO!”
(when driving past
cows)
q “Back already?”
(when someone
comes back inside
after forgetting
something)
q “That’s not going
anywhere.”
(after tying something
down)
q “Hi bored, I’m dad!”
(anytime a child
says they’re bored)
q “I’m not paying
to heat the whole
neighborhood.”
(whenever the door
is open... also
accepted is, “Were
you raised in a
barn?”)
John Blanchette
• RISK CONSULTING
• BUSINESS ANALYTICS
Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up too!
PROTECT Your Business.
PROTECT Yourself.
We are Maine’s largest
resource for background
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You just never
see it coming.
PROTECT YOUR COMPANY WITH THE
RIGHT PROTECTION AT THE RIGHT PRICE
Contact John today
at 207-784-9358
• INDUSTRY EXPERTISE
• CLAIMS SUPPORT
www.nfp.com
Insurance services provided through NFP Property & Casualty Services, Inc.
(PC-19126-16) Copyright © 2016 NFP. All rights reserved.
ENTERPRISE RISK MANAGEMENT
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Out ‘n About at Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant in Poland
Karen
“Bev-Ridge”
Nichols
&
Gail Croteau
207-783-0000783-0000
corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
16 July 2021 783-7039
I’m at the point in my life where the only diet that will work is me going on Survivor.

2
I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.
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Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
Tim & Meredith
Falso
Golf is an
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Mike Blanchette
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If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 17

Now
Hiring
Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
NOW HIRING! Apply
Within
Emily Drummond
RoySnow.com
207.782.3734
Serving Maine since 1947
11 Library Ave.
Auburn
Date
night!
Bernie & Janet
Gaunt
You seemed
a lot shorter
when you were
sitting down!
IS YOUR BUSINESS HIRING?
Advertise in our
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
section to get your job opening viewed by more
than 20,000 readers each month! Call today FMI!
207-783-7039
COME JOIN OUR TEAM!
You’ll be glad you did!
We’re hiring Direct Support Professionals
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
18
Denny Breau &
Keith Davis
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
To apply:
www.jfmhomes.org or 207-783-2726 x202
A battery and a firework were arrested. They charged one, and let the other one off.

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
WANTED: Year Round Flaggers
Androscoggin,
Cumberland,
and Oxford
County Areas
Call Today 207-225-5627
The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims.”
www.atwork.com
No Experience Necessary! Train Today, Work Tomorrow!
Starting Pay: $15.00+/hr
Moved two miles
up the road!
10 Memorial Drive,
Lisbon
Now
Hiring
Clockwork
Submitted by Tyla Davis
In the late 17th century,
Christiaan Huygens
developed the first pendulum
clock, designed
from a concept by
Galileo that pendulums
could be used to keep
the time.
Excited for his new
development, Huygens
decided to tell his
friends about what he
was planning. As he
explained it, his friends
had looks of confusion
on their faces.
“So there will be 12
numbers on this clock?
So the day will be divided
into 12 segments?”
asked one friend.
“No. There will be 24
segments in a day,”
responded Huygens.
“So will the day start
at 1. Like counting?”
asked another friend.
“No. The day will start
at 12.”
“Oh. So 12 will be first
thing in the morning?”
Now
Hiring!
“No, 12 will be at night,”
answered Huygens.
“I’ll be honest, easily
telling time sounds nice,
but the implementation
is very confusing,” another
friend said.
“Oh, and another
thing... 6 means 30.”
I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.
He made me pay in advance.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 19

Now
Hiring
Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant
in Poland
for the Denny Breau concert
Wait... did
I just hear Denny
Breau making
up a song about
pot roast?
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION IS GROWING!
We are seeking experienced
service technicians to join our team!
PLEASE CALL 207-777-5600
Air Conditioning & Heating
Kevin Bedard
I heard
it too! And now I
want pot roast!
Time for second
supper!
protechoffice11@yahoo.com
A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.
24 Hour
Service
Fully Insured
Pax & Todd
Bagetis
It’s 90°
outside... how about
a Hawaiian Burger
instead?
NOW HIRING PRODUCTION WORKERS!
Call Today 207-225-5627
www.atwork.com
Sophia Comis
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
20 July 2021 783-7039
Variety of Shifts Available!
Starting Pay: Days $15.50, Nights $17.00
Important note from a car manual: Backing up rapidly
into a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason
why we observe daylight savings time.
Last Rites
Submitted by Steve Simard
A priest was preparing
a man for his long journey
into the night.
presents
A Night of Comedy
with
at the
Whispering firmly, the
priest said, “Denounce
the devil! Let him know
how little you think of
his evil.”
The dying man said
nothing.
The priest repeated his
order. Still the dying
man said nothing.
The priest asked, “Why
do you refuse to denounce
the devil and
his evil?”
The dying man said,
“Until I know where I’m
heading, I don’t think
I ought to aggravate
anybody.”
$20.00 in advance
$25 at the door
or
Reserve a table of
8 for $200
July 22nd
7pm - 9pm
Doors open at 6pm
For information and
tickets go to:
UncleAndys.com
or find our event on Facebook
All proceeds benefit
School Play
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Little Timmy came
home from school all
excited one day.
“Dad, Dad, I got a part
in the school play!”
“That’s wonderful,
son!” the dad exclaimed.
“Who will you
be playing?”
Timmy answered, “I’m
playing a middle-aged
man who’s been married
for 25 years.”
“Well, that’s okay, son.
Maybe next time you’ll
get a speaking part.”
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think,
“Well, that’s not going to happen.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 21

Missing Person
Submitted by Steve Simard
A lady calls the police
to report her husband
is missing. The police
arrive and ask for a
description. She tells
them he’s 6'2" tall,
blonde wavy hair,
and has a smile that
makes everybody love
him.
The police then go to
the next door neighbor
to verify this report.
The lady next door
tells the police, “You
can’t believe her.
He’s 5'4" tall, has no
hair, and he wears a
perpetual frown on his
face.”
The neighbor walked
over to the lady’s
house and asked her
why she would give
the police an incorrect
description of her
husband.
Work Tips: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Get to an airport.
Get on a plane. Never return.
WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Laugh at ME Laughing Festival
is looking to hold its first ever event in
JUNE 2022 AT THE OXFORD FAIRGROUNDS
We need: Website/Social Media organizer • Entertainer • Insurance
Comedians • Demolition derby • Music • Sponsorship • Scholarship • Food
Arts • 4-H • Horse Shows • Animal Kennel • Gong Show
Local talent competition • Lawyer • Flower show
Bike’s race • Motorcycle • Antiques... all unique ideas are welcome
GOOD
GOOD is is
a GOOD brand
GOOD is
brand is
new a
new brand brand
salon.
new salon.
Great Opportunity for a nonprofit to get involved to earn funds by helping
with parking, ticket sales, Main gate admission, security, clean up,
bathroom attendants, & food court
Contact Nel Morin at 207-740-3398 • festivalsofmaine@icloud.com
A white shirt attracts the soup of the day.
Out ‘n About at Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant in Poland
for the Denny Breau Concert
Front: Paul &
Betsy Smith, &
Wayne Hennessey
Back: Dean & Laura
Kendall, & Karen
Hennessey
She replies, “Just
because I reported him
missing, doesn’t mean
I wanted him back!”
GOOD is
a GOOD brand
is
They said I couldn’t bring outside snacks new a into brand the salon.
theater, but I’ve got a few Twix up my sleeve!
new salon.
NOW
OPEN
GRAND
OPENING GRAND
OPENING
GRAND
OPENING
NOW
OPEN
GRAND
OPENING GRAND
OPENING
GRAND
OPENING
GOOD is
GREAT
GREAT
GREA
one righ
one GREA
one
near righ
ri
r
yo
near one near ri
yoy
near y
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
22 July 2021 783-7039
NOW
OPEN
GRAND
OPENING GRAND
OPENING
GRAND
OPENING
Now Open
Open
Auburn Great Clips
410 Center 410 Street, Auburn, ME (Next To Chipo
Now Center Street, Auburn, ME
Now Open
10 Center Street, Auburn, Great ME • (Next Clips
Open
To Chipo
207-221-5626 Great Clips
410 Center 410 Now
Street, Center Auburn, Street,
Great ME Auburn, (Next Clips To ME
10 Center M-F Street,
Chi
Open
8:30-7 Auburn, • Sat 8:30-5 ME •
• Sun (Next Sun 9-4 9-4To Ch
GREAT 207-221-5626
is
M-F GREAT one Bring 8:30-7 right is
in • this Sat 8:30-5 ad for
• Sun • Sun a
9-4 9-4
ANY HAIRCUT
one near right
ANY HAIRCUT Not valid with any other offers. Limit one
coupon per customer. No copies. Taxes
ANY HAIRCUT
$6.99 you. haircut! Exp. 07/31/21
Not valid with any other offers. Limit one
ANY
$
4
HAIRCUT
99
near you.
may apply. Valid at Auburn Great Clips.
coupon per customer. No copies. Taxes
ANY HAIRCUT Not valid with any other offers. Limit one
Now
coupon may apply. per Valid customer. at Auburn No copies. Great Taxes Clips.
My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to Not misread valid with any social other offers. situations,
Limit one
may apply. Valid at Auburn Great Clips.
coupon per customer. No copies. Taxes
but ANY I’m pretty HAIRCUT
sure she was hitting
Not
on
valid
me.
with any other offers. Limit one
$ 99
Now OpenAuburn Great Clips
coupon may apply. per Valid at Auburn Great Clips.
F2222WXL customer. No copies. Taxes
Open
Great Clips
Not valid with any other offers. Limit one
410 Center 410 Now
Street, Center Auburn, ME (Next To Chipotle)
may apply. Valid at Auburn Great Clips.
Street,
Great
Auburn,
Clips
ME
10 Center Street,
coupon F2222WXL
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I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen... I can feel it.
Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
What
better way
to celebrate
the salon’s 20th
anniversary than a
big bash with all of
our business neighbors
and friends?
Gorgeous weather,
live music, and lots
of food and
drinks - what
a blast!
Katie Schertzer,
Dee Chapman, &
Sam Ruess
All About U Salon
The Chapman House has private rooms available
for residents, aged 65 and older, that need
assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.
We provide a warm and
comfortable home for our residents
41 Pleasant Street
Auburn
207-783-0961
Just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
The “Price”
is always right
when you have a free
community
event!
Bill Price
Ken Goodman
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 23

Transform lives,
one wish at a time.
Share the power
of a
wish
Millie
MacDonald
207-330-8991
(207) 595-6794
dclelectricme.com
Proudly serving Oxford Hills
Proud supporter of
2331 Congress Street, Portland,
mildred.macdonald@crossagency.com
Proud Supporter of
Dave Biron
Productions
Booking &
Management Agency
Venue Bookings
39 Town Country Drive
Lisbon
Full service pet spa

207-782-7113
31 Blake Street, Lewiston
armandsautobody.com
34 Center Street, Auburn
439 Lewiston Road, Topsham
(207) 401-2000
www.207chiro.com
207-353-4636
207-312-1467
dpbro19@gmail.com
Marketing & Technology
(207) 515-1594
shane@logikops.com
Find us on Facebook!
207-739-9445
Proud sponsor of
23 Pleasant Street,
Mechanic Falls
207-345-5551
Dadsplacemaine.com
Proud Sponsor of
FREE CONSULTATION!
Organization services
for your home & office
Elaine St. Pierre
207-376-7828
simplyorganizedspacesmaine@gmail.com
Paul Taylor, CPI
InterNACHI Certified
Professional Inspector®
ME Radon & Water Testing
License #SMC343
Home Inspections • Radon Testing
Water Quality Testing
207-558-2677
Mountainvhi@gmail.com
43 Presidential View, South Paris
Let us sell your home!
“BUSY AS BEES
TO PLEASE”
www.BizRealty.net
158 Main Street, South Paris
Kacey LePage
Direct Line: 207-753-6204
Kacey@champoux-ins.com
A proud
wish granter
Supporting
1940 ~ 2020
Proudly Supports
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
RANGE POND
CAMPGROUND
In memory of Mark LaPierre
-Christine & Chad Cote
Be Your
Own Boss!
Time for a change?
It’s worth a conversation.
470 Lake Shore Drive
Auburn
tabersgolf.com
207-797-6060
A proud, long-time supporter of
94 Plains Road, Poland
207-998-2624
rangepondcamp@gmail.com
Chris Wallace, RVP
207-653-3424
This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers.
Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity.

Transform lives,
one wish at a time.
Tyla Davis, Editor-in-Chief
207-346-1488
editor@LAMetroMagazine.com
Proud Supporter of
Christopher D Wallace
Preparer/Owner
Office: 207-892-1480
Fax: 888-565-1173
chris@sbsme.biz
CATERING
Call Dad’s Place Catering Today!
207-345-9009
DadsPlaceCatering.com
Proud Sponsor of
Proudly Supporting
Proudly Supporting
Proudly sponsors

207-225-5627
www.atwork.com/turner 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
Let us help buy your home!
Stone’s Trash Removal
Let us build that dream deck for you!
207-212-7791
www.vghomeimprovements.com
@MEDCoMaine
1-866-42-MEDCo
thcMEDCo.com
We’re here for YOU!
UFOs • Pizza • Donuts
Takeout • Door Dash
NICOLE LAJOIE of
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
Call today
to ask about the
amazing benefits
of emu oil
with CBD!
“BUSY AS BEES
TO PLEASE”
All Natural Pain Relief!
Locally Raised!
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Proudly Supports
www.BizRealty.net
158 Main Street, South Paris
39 Tuelltown Road, West Paris
(207) 446-1014
207-577-7366
earth-alternatives.com
783-2981
georgiosmaine.com
Open daily
7am-7pm
207-753-6222
nicole@champoux-ins.com
Steve Simard
Businesses & individuals can help make it
possible to grant a wish for a child suffering
from a serious illness. Please Donate!
Call me
to find out
how!
207-754-1815
steve@uncleandys.com
John Engelbert
Heartland
Payment Systems
207-592-6815
John.Engelbert@e-hps.com
Richard Moylan
(207) 777-0050
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn
richardmoylan@allstate.com
Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
qualifications and availability. Allstate Property
and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire and
Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois
© 2010 Allstate Insurance Company
Join us in our final push to grant 15 or more wishes
to critically ill children in Maine!
Call today at 207-783-7039 to help!
This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers.
Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity.

Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
My wife told me she wanted to travel.
I told her to pick up a basketball and take three steps.
Eligible for Medicare?
CALL US TODAY
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.
Dave Biron
Why won’t
anyone laugh at my
sausage jokes?
30+
Years of
Experience!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
Out ‘n About in Auburn for the New Auburn Village Block Party
Steve Simard
American Legion
Post 153 Commander
Because
your jokes are
the wurst!
Bill Price with Continental Shakedown
Small Office Suites for Lease Month to Month
$350 Gross/Month • 124 Lisbon Street, Lewiston
Private Entrance on Park St. Alley, Steps from Parking
Perfect for Small Startup, Counselors, etc.
Suzanne Travers
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
28 July 2021 783-7039
Maine Realty Advisors
FRANK CARR
Your real estate investment advisor
Brokering your buying & selling needs
207.252.4881 • Frank@MaineRealtyAdvisors.com
A mermaid uses Tide to wash her fin.

I bought a larger ball
on, one which could
ca ry myself and six to
eight pa sengers – the
largest hot air ba l on in
Oklahoma. Since 2 04,
I have b en having the
time of my life introducing
people to the joy of
hot air ba l oning for a l
types of o casions. Companies
often use the hot
air ba l on experience as
a unique team building
exercise.
At som events, such
I was in the ce lular as a grand opening, wedding,
family reunions or
co munications busine s
when I saw my first hot employ e picnic, the ball
on is tethered and at-
air ba l on in the Tulsa
area. I i mediately realized
the potential to draw and-down ride. Another
tend es take a 50-f ot up-
way companies use the
Keystone Wi ly and
ConAir
By Wil LaPointe, owner
Co linsvi le, Oklahoma
a crowd, so I purchased a
r of-top type to advertise
my busine s. One day, a
salesman sto ped by who
also was ba l on pilot.
Although I had never
b en “up” in a ba l on,
I purchased a red, white
and blue pa senger ball
on, perfec to promote
my ce l phone busine s.
The pilo t ok me for
my first ride and I was
i mediately h oked on
th experience. I also
noticed how it a tracted
a crowd; cars fo lowed
us for miles. I trained to
become a licensed pilot
and even became quite
su ce sful at competitive
racing, eventua ly being
ranked #5 in th entire
country.
I bought a larger ball
on, one which could
ca ry myself and six to
eight pa sengers – the
largest hot air ba l on in
Oklahoma. Since 2 04,
I have b en having the
time of my life introducing
people to the joy of
hot air ba l oning for a l
types of o casions. Companies
often use the hot
air ba l on experience as
a unique team building
exercise.
At som events, such
I was in the ce lular as a grand opening, wedding,
family reunions or
co munications busine s
when I saw my first hot employ e picnic, the ball
on is tethered and at-
air ba l on in the Tulsa
area. I i mediately realized
the potential to draw and-down ride. Another
tend es take a 50-f ot up-
way companies use the
Direct-Mailed to the Residents of Cumberland and Sagadaho counties
5 Fern St., P.O. Box 214, Turner, ME 04282
Keystone Wi ly and
ConAir
By Wil LaPointe, owner
Co linsvi le, Oklahoma
a crowd, so I purchased a
r of-top type to advertise
my busine s. One day, a
salesman sto ped by who
also was ba l on pilot.
Although I had never
b en “up” in a ba l on,
I purchased a red, white
and blue pa senger ball
on, perfec to promote
my ce l phone busine s.
The pilo t ok me for
my first ride and I was
Submi ted photo
Direct-Mailed to the Residents of Cumberland and Sagadaho counties
A hot air ba l on ride
usua ly lasts 40 minutes
to an hour, but we can
continue for longer if requested.
Everyone from
young t old enjoy the adventure
o floating quietly
like a bird over the land.
l on to advertise to familie spread the ashes
rent ba ner space advertising
their products a l
of a loved one.
around the country or just
in Oklahoma.
Many of these companies
repor tha their
busine s was definitely
“l oking up” with the
use of this a tention-getting
marketing concept. Not only is the scenery
I have also had couples breathtaking, but you also
can vie wildlife on
exchange their we ding
vows in the ba l on and the ground and in the air.
even helped grieving Often birds and bu terflies
wi l fly right alongside
us! Watch as one of
these ba l ons “chases”
the other. For more information,
email wilball
on@yah o.com.
Submi ted photo
Elvis
By Ba l onFestival.com
A Product of
A Maine Owned Company
FREE
JULY 2018
Just G od News Since 1 92
Volume 1, I sue 5
Elvis was larger than life
and so the 10-story-ta l
special-shaped Elvis hot
air ba l on that l swivel,
shake and soar the Festival.
Elvi stands 105-f et
ta l (the real Elvis was
5-f et 1-3/4 inches) and
weighs 485 pounds. Com-
speak English, music
sti l touched them. The 1968
TV special re-launched
Elvis Presley’ singing car
er. This 2018 version wi l
launc hundreds of thousands
of smiles. •
plete with long sideburns,
40-f ot-wide sungla s-
es and a sparkling white
jump-suit, the Elvis ball
on doesn’t hail from Tupel
or Las Vegas, but rather
from São Paulo, Brazil.
“NEW” 1 Year Program to start in the fa l!
Ca l now for details and pre-requisites
of ertiied progras in the state. inrease in ob growth.
A hot air ba l on ride
usua ly lasts 40 minutes
to an hour, but we can
continue for longer if requested.
Everyone from
young t old enjoy the adventure
o floating quietly
like a bird over the land.
l on to advertise to familie spread the ashes
rent ba ner space advertising
their products a l
of a loved one.
around the country or just
in Oklahoma.
Many of these companies
repor tha their
busine s was definitely
“l oking up” with the
use of this a tention-getting
marketing concept. Not only is the scenery
I have also had couples breathtaking, but you also
can vie wildlife on
exchange their we ding
vows in the ba l on and the ground and in the air.
even helped grieving Often birds and bu terflies
wi l fly right alongside
us! Watch as one of
these ba l ons “chases”
the other. For more information,
email wilball
on@yah o.com.
Elvis
By Ba l onFestival.com
Elvis was larger than life
and so the 10-story-ta l
special-shaped Elvis hot
air ba l on that l swivel,
shake and soar the Festival.
Elvi stands 105-f et
ta l (the real Elvis was
5-f et 1-3/4 inches) and
weighs 485 pounds. Complete
with long sideburns,
40-f ot-wide sungla s-
es and a sparkling white
jump-suit, the Elvis ball
on doesn’t hail from Tupel
or Las Vegas, but rather
from São Paulo, Brazil.
Fu l Time & Part Time
Flexible Learning
207-453-58 2 w.kv c.me.edu
A Product of
A Maine Owned Company
FREE
JULY 2018
Just G od News Since 1 92
Volume 1, I sue 5
“NEW” 1 Year Program to start in the fa l!
Ca l now for details and pre-requisites
of ertiied progras in the state. inrease in ob growth.
Fu l Time & Part Time
Flexible Learning
207-453-58 2 w.kv c.me.edu
I gave the Joker a calendar wrapped in aluminum. His plans were foiled.
NEW EVENTS
Pizza Delivery
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Dominic was on a
business trip abroad
and was getting homesick
for some American
cuisine.
He stopped at the front
desk of the hotel he
was staying at to ask
the concierge if there
were any restaurants
that delivered American
food.
Check our website or follow us on Facebook
for upcoming events!
FrancoCenter.org • facebook.com/FrancoCenter
Maine’s Largest Directly Mailed
Community Newspapers
Reaching 243,000 Homes and
607,000 Readers.
www.turnerpublishing.net/news
A big thank you to our sponsors
“The way Maine news should be.”
Local News • Good News • Apolitical News • FREE News
We love Drama.
for your continued support!
“Sure!” the concierge
replied. “There’s a pizza
parlor that delivers just
a few miles from here.”
The concierge gave
Dominic the number
to the pizza place.
Dominic called and
placed his delivery
order and went back
to his room, excited for
some familiar food to
be delivered.
46 Cedar Street,
Lewiston, ME 04240
www.RoopersBeverage.com
www.RoopersWholeSale.com
Maine’s Largest Directly Mailed
Community Newspapers
Reaching 243,000 Homes and
607,000 Readers.
www.turnerpublishing.net/news
Midcoast Beacon
MAINE NEWS at w.turnerpublishing.net/news
Mos trusted local co munity new source serving over 6 0, 0 Mainers each month.
w.centralmainetoday.com • w.turnerpublishing.net • 207- 25-2076 • Fax: 207- 25-5 3 • articles@turnerpublishing.net • advertising@turnerpublishing.net
Special-shape ba loons at this year’s GF Ba loon Festival
“The way Maine news should be.”
Androscoggin Bank
Local News • Good News •
DaVinci’s
Apolitical News • FREE News
Androscoggin HomeHealth Care Emerson Chevrolet
Austin Associates
5 Fern St., P.O. Box Hebert 214, Turner, Construction ME 04282 LLC
To submit news, email articles@turnerpublishing.net
Berman & Simmons To ask about advertising, email Isaacson advertising@turnerpublishing.net
& Raymond
Central Maine Graphics
Mechanics Savings Bank
Total Market Concentration
CALL 207-225-2076 TODAY
GENDRON
The ma sive ba l on occupies
105, 0 cubic f et of
space when fu ly inflated.
The Elvis ba l on was
created as a tribute to the
entertainer by hot air ball
on pilot Luiz Paulo A sis
of AirFly hot air ba l ons.
The ba l on was inspired by
Luiz’s love for the artist and
his music. Luiz was exposed
to the music by his father
when was ver young.
Even though they did not
Medical A sisting, a Prescription for Su ce s
Proud Supporter of the Arts
in Lewiston & Auburn
MedCo (The Healing Community)
Norway Savings Bank
The Computer Place
TV5 Monde
FrancoCenter.org
facebook.com/FrancoCenter
About 30 minutes
later, Dominic’s pizza
showed up. He happily
paid for it and tipped
the driver and went
back in his room to
enjoy his dinner.
Dominic opened the
pizza box and immediately
started sneezing
profusely. The sneezing
was uncontrollable.
Dominic ran out of
his room to catch the
delivery driver walking
towards the elevator.
“Hey, what the heck did
you put on this pizza?”
“We gave you what you
ordered...pepper only.”
Midcoast Beacon
MAINE NEWS at w.turnerpublishing.net/news
Mos trusted local co munity new source serving over 6 0, 0 Mainers each month.
w.centralmainetoday.com • w.turnerpublishing.net • 207- 25-2076 • Fax: 207- 25-5 3 • articles@turnerpublishing.net • advertising@turnerpublishing.net
Special-shape ba loons at this year’s GF Ba loon Festival
Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs isn’t one of them.
i mediately h oked on
th experience. I also
noticed how it a tracted
a crowd; cars fo lowed
us for miles. I trained to
become a licensed pilot
and even became quite
su ce sful at competitive
racing, eventua ly being
ranked #5 in th entire
country.
The ma sive ba l on occupies
105, 0 cubic f et of
space when fu ly inflated.
The Elvis ba l on was
created as a tribute to the
entertainer by hot air ball
on pilot Luiz Paulo A sis
of AirFly hot air ba l ons.
The ba l on was inspired by
Luiz’s love for the artist and
his music. Luiz was exposed
to the music by his father
when was ver young.
Even though they did not
speak English, music
sti l touched them. The 1968
TV special re-launched
Elvis Presley’ singing car
er. This 2018 version wi l
launc hundreds of thousands
of smiles. •
Medical A sisting, a Prescription for Su ce s
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 29

Housework
Submitted by Steve Simard
I never thought I’d be the type of person to get up early in the morning to exercise.
And I was right.
Tyla and Keith were
arguing about housework
one day.
“You really need to
be doing more chores
around here!” yelled
Tyla.
“Can we just change
the subject?” Keith
asked.
“Fine. More chores
need to be done by
you.”
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
47 Broad Street, Auburn
www.firehouseauburn.com
207-376-4959
HAPPY HOUR
Monday-Friday
2p-5p
BURGER MONDAY
$2 OFF
July Drink Special
Mai Tai
$
8
Space could be filled with vampires and we’d never know because telescopes use mirrors.
EST
1950
54 Mill Street
New Auburn
Appointments
and walk-ins
welcome!
783-3444
OPEN:
Tues-Fri
7:30a-5:30p
Sat 7:30a-2p
Booth Rentals Available
Taylor Merrill & his son
84 General Turner Hill Road, Turner
207-225-3000
www.mhoilandpropane.com
Barbers are good drivers because they know all the short cuts.
Did You Know?
On average, Americans
eat 150 million
hot dogs on the Fourth
of July? No word on
how many gallons of
ketchup are needed for
that!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
30
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
WE HAVE POOL SUPPLIES!
Get your pool ready for the summer
• Chlorine
• Shock
• Filters & Parts
• Pool toys!
186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus • (207) 375-6253
My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled. But they smelled fine to me.

My daughter ate her homework because her teacher said it was a piece of cake.
We keep growing! So...We’ve Moved!
Come visit us at our NEW home at 368 Minot Ave in Auburn!
Whether you’re looking to buy, sell, or build a home, our growing
team works with you every step of the way!
Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
I showed
up to represent!
Can I be the Digest
paparazzi for a
day?
Jon
Mercier
Mark
Turner
Toni
Ferraro
Brandon
Caruso
Mike Spaulding
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
Regina
Ritchie
Dustin
Mallar
Zach
Lutick
Mason
Dupuis
Lindsay
Wright
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com
The frog burned its tongue when it ate a firefly.
Out ‘n About in Auburn for the New Auburn Village Block Party
John Morrison &
Owen McCarthy
Cure Cannabis
Live music
is back! This was a
great event to bring
back summer
concerts!
American Legion Post 153 Members
Front: Donald Peck & Amy St. Hilaire
Back: Ray Longtin, Mike Spaulding, Steve Simard, Stella Chase,
Audrey L’Heureux, & Suzanne Travers
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul did he bust a move?
Tim Thomas,
Heidi Lemieux, &
Theo Allee
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 31

No Fear
Submitted by Steve Simard
After the fire-truck
arrived at a burning
building in a small
Spanish town, the
firemen observed
a man dressed in a
matador’s costume
prancing around on
the roof.
OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSES
THE LAKE
STORE
14 Waterford Road, Norway
207-743-6562
Four of the firemen
held a safety net and
urged him to escape
from the burning building
by jumping into the
net.
He refused and loudly
proclaimed, “I’m
Fearless Jose the
bullfighter who is afraid
of nothing, not even
fire.”
The firemen begged
and pleaded but to
no avail. Jose kept
prancing around while
repeating the same
phrase over and over
until the firemen got
really sick and tired of
hearing it.
Finally, when the
flames began to
scorch his backside,
Jose announced he
had changed his mind,
was ready to jump. He
then closed his eyes,
said a quick prayer,
and leaped off the
rooftop.
As his body hurtled
toward the safety net,
the four firemen shouted,
“Ole!” and quickly
moved it aside.
Enjoy our comfortable outside area!
WE’RE HERE WITH GREAT DEALS!
• VIDEOS, GAMES
• TOOLS
PA’S
• FISHING SUPPLIES
• FURNITURE
TRADIN’
• TARPS
COMPANY Inc.
BUY • SELL • TRADE
PAWN
Federal Licensed Firearms Dealer
1447 Main Street, Oxford
Only 25 Minutes from
Auburn & Gray
Open Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm
207-743-0709 or
1-877-743-0709
POLLY’S VARIETY
115 King Street • Oxford
CALL AHEAD
FOR ORDERS!
Take out window available
Voted one of
Maine’s Best
Pizza Places!
2016 WMTW
Facebook Fan poll
207-539-8254
www.pollysvariety.com
No More Crackers
Polly W ants Pizza
Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm
If you cut down a tree to make it talk it will dialogue.
• & MUCH MORE!
BUYING GUNS!
Buying & Selling
Camp Furniture!
Gun Background
Checks/Transfers
Fire Arms Transfers $ 25/each
Always Pawning
& Selling
Visit Us!
July
Special
Pepperoni
Italian
$6 .99
Plus tax/deposit
Expires 07/31/2021

OFFERING
Residential
Commercial
Clean Outs
Roll Offs
OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSES
844-ME-TRASH
844-638-7274
F ind Y ourself
in places no one else can
The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!
SERVING
Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland
Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples
9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com
CALL OF THE WILD
RV CENTER
848 Main Street, Oxford
207-539-4410
www.callofthewildrv.com
Insurance companies are warning campers that if their tents are stolen overnight they won’t be covered.
COOPER FARMS
Since 1971
We grow our own apples & vegetables
and we raise natural home-grown beef!
207-674-2200 • West Paris
You should
always make
sure to grab a copy
of the Digest!
You’ll be up to your
neck in funny
jokes!
Out ‘n About at the Shuga Shak
“Farmer”
Luke
Coolidge
Have a safe
and fun 4th of July!
Remember to shop
local for all your
festivities with
family & friends!
March 1876 - Alexander Graham Bell makes the first phone call ever.
Moments later - he is notified that his car’s extended warranty has expired.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 33

Wellness Logic
Submitted by Steve Simard
A whale swims all day,
only consumes fish
and water and is fat.
A rabbit only eats vegetables,
runs and hops
all day long and only
lives 5 years.
Meanwhile a tortoise
doesn’t run and does
nothing energetic, yet
it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to eat
well and exercise! I
don’t think so.
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying careful
attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
Roy’s
Happy Independence Day!
FOODLAND
WEEKLY SPECIALS AT ROY’S
Saturday Bean Special
Beans, Bread/Rolls & Cole Slaw, $8.99
Wednesday Italian Special
Ham, Salami, Veggie or Pepperoni, $2.49
Pizza Pack Special
Pizza Packs only $ 9.99 • 2lb Pepperoni Pks only $ 6.99
It’s BBQ
Time!
Check out our
specials
Don’t forget your BBQ
supplies for grilling!
Hours:
Mon. - Thurs. 8am - 6pm
Fri. 8am - 7pm
Sat. 8am - 6pm
Sun. closed
Don’t forget your chicken salad, “best in town” or ham salad!
70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 • www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Out ‘n About with the Uncle Andy’s Digest crew from the archives
Jimbo
Circa 2002
Tyla
Circa 2010
Stephanie
Circa 2015
Steve
Circa 2016
Summer! Is your vehicle ready?
Even
we need
service once
in a while!
Summer Car Care Tips
Wash your vehicle. Check tires,
brakes, oil & battery. Replace
wipers & fluids if necessary!
Poisson & Sons
Auto Care
Full Service Gas Station
260 S. Main Street, Auburn
207.782.9144
July 2021
Stickers
are due!
Preorder online or mention this ad
and get 1 / 8 for $25.00!
Leaf it to us.
Medical Cannabis • New Patients Welcome
934 Lisbon Street,
Lewiston, ME 04240
Entrance in back
Day Party Every Saturday & Sunday!
1-8pm
207-689-3626 • www.207high.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
34 July 2021 783-7039
If mediums can communicate with the dead, imagine what a large can do.

I used to practice medicine, but now I’m perfect at it.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
Pettengill Academy
PettengillAcademy.com
207-241-0046
AK Health and
Social Services
akhss.org
207-809-0224
info.akhss@akhss.org
Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
Phew! It
got hot once the
music stopped. It
must be because all
the fans left.
Haus of Belle
Boudoir
HausofBelleBoudoir.showit.site
info@hausofbelleboudoir.com
Community
Staffing Partners
Mohamed
207.632.6592
Dias 207.344.5647
Azinaida 207.440.9349
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
I have a great joke about nepotism, but I’m only going to tell it to my kids.
Sylvia & Jim
Palmer
Lisa definitely
makes us look good!
A rose between two
thorns!
Our Patio is Open!
We pride ourselves on excellent service & quality
food. Visit our outside dining that overlooks the
golf course.
Whether you are craving a hearty meal after a
day of golf, want a refreshing drink/cocktail, or
if you just want to hang around our fire pit...
Mel’s Hilltop is a great place to visit!
Rich & Lisa Brown,
and Bill Pepin
Does anyone
know who invented
golf? Asking fore a
friend.
(207) 998-4351
www.polandspringresort.com
Open Tuesday - Sunday, 11:30 AM - 8:00 PM
We are closed on Mondays
“Farmer” Phil
Morin
I watched helplessly as my toothpaste fell and hit the floor. I was Crestfallen.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 35

BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Dinner Plans
Submitted by Tyla Davis
9AM ME: I think I’ll
roast a chicken for
dinner. I’ll stop at
Blackie’s to buy some
fresh asparagus and
baby red potatoes to
go with dinner. I’m
gonna knock my family’s
socks off with this
culinary masterpiece.
Call today for a quote!
207-754-2519
seatailor.ctaylor@gmail.com
Fully Insured
Authorized Retailer
T-shirts, koozies, gaiters, trucker hats,
travel mugs, flip flops, & more!
120 Center Street, Auburn
207-241-0125
Meraki1921.com
- Pooper scooping services -
Accepting
New
Clients
207-713-1550
Find us on Facebook
12PM ME: Maybe I
should try to finish up at
the office a bit early so
I can get to the grocery
store and to Blackie’s
before the dinner rush.
I need to start food
prep early so we’re not
eating dinner too late.
207-333-5022
kaytdavispt@gmail.com
Therapy in the home.
Most insurances accepted.
207-782-7141
Now Hiring for Fall Positions!
Students welcome!
New
centrifuge
area rug
cleaning!
• Carpets
• Wood Floors
• Tile & Grout
• Water Damage Drying
Commercial & Residential
Call Today!
(207) 783-2933
4PM ME: This day just
got away from me and
work has been really
rough. I’ll cook the big
dinner tomorrow night.
Maybe tonight I’ll just
pick up a pizza on my
way home.
5PM ME: Who am
I kidding? I’m not
stopping anywhere on
my way home. Pizza
delivery it is!
Out ‘n About in Auburn for the New Auburn Village Block Party
Get on your
Harley & ride...
TT
z
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
36 July 2021 783-7039
The L-A Harley Band
I started a professional hide-and-go-seek league, but it failed.
Good players are hard to find.

You bake a square pizza in a 90 degree oven.
NOW OFFERING
BREAKFAST
WEDNESDAY – SUNDAY!
Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
Fun
in the sun!
Scan here
for our
menu!
Wednesday: 7am-3pm
Thursday: 7am-8pm
Friday: 7am-9pm
Saturday: 7am-9pm
Sunday: 7am-3pm
Download
our app for
takeout and
delivery!
Check out
our outside
seating!
103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
207-333-5062 • www.stationgrillrestaurant.com
Michelle Gagne &
Crystal Lawrence
I’m a bit
scared of
pancakes, they give
me the crêpes!
Ken Blais
Rolly’s Diner
Wednesday - Thursday: 4pm-11pm
Friday - Saturday: 4pm-1am
Summer Cornhole
Singles League
Starting July 7th
Give us a call to join the fun!
551 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
207-777-1155 • www.schemengees.com
My son asked me to play the synonym game with him.
I’ve never played. I had to ask him what it was like.
New Auburn
is my kind
of town!
Leroy Walker
Ward 5 City Councilor
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 37

Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
I’d like to give a shout out to all my favorite librarians... oh whoops, sorry.
Annuals
Vegetable Plants
Hanging Baskets
Mother’s Day Gifts
Gift Cards
Orette Poliquin
We love
being part of
the New Auburn
Village! I can’t wait to
make this event even
bigger next
year!
Come celebrate Spring &
support your local farm!
All your flower bed
& garden needs!
Open 7 days a week • Mon. - Fri. 9a-5:30p • Sat. & Sun. 9a-4:30p
876 Summer St. Auburn • WHITINGFARM.ORG
Apple is designing an iCar. It’s going to be the first Apple products with Windows.
Gerry Gagne
Owner, Firehouse Grill
These
lime rickeys
from the
American
Legion Post
153 are so
good!
The Fortin Group
Proudly serving the communities of
Lewiston and Auburn for over 100 years.
The cost of living keeps going up.
The cost of your funeral doesn’t have to.
Pre-plan now and your cost will be locked in.
AUBURN
217 Turner Street
207-783-8545
LEWISTON
70 Horton Street
207-784-4584
Vaughn Rogers &
Christine Breton
Uncle Andy’s Digest...with
Jimbo
38 July 2021 783-7039
I wanted to take a trip to New Zealand for vacation, but couldn’t afford it.
I had to settle on Old Zealand.

An astronaut gets paid between $66,000 - $160,000 per year.
Seems a bit low considering the commute to work.
Dog for Sale
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Make your
reservation
now!
A place the whole family will LOVE!
LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!
A couple are out for a
walk when they notice
a large sign outside
a house which reads,
“Talking Dog for Sale.”
They are both intrigued
by the idea of a talking
dog, so they knock
on the door and ask if
they can take a look at
this dog
40 East Avenue, Lewiston • 207-795-6888 • www.sea40me.com
Out ‘n About in Auburn for the New Auburn Village Block Party
“Sure!” says the owner,
“Come on in.”
The owner escorts
them into the lounge
where the dog is lying
on the sofa watching
television.
Jedidiah, Caitlin,
& Lilly Knight
• Title Insurance
• Abstracting
• Escrow Closing Service
• 1031 Exchanges
Nancy Cote &
Kobe Robinson
Androscoggin County’s Premier
Title & Escrow Closing Headquarters
Your Title Company
Since 1987
• For Sale by Owner
• Title Certificates
• Construction
Disbursements
WE’VE
MOVED!
Lucy
Peck
Our new address is:
500 Canal Street,
Lewiston 04240
“Hello,” they say to the
dog.
“Hello,” the dog
responds.
“What have you done
with your life so far
then?” the couple ask
the dog.
“Well actually I’ve led a
very full life,” says the
dog.
“Really?” says the
couple.
“Yes really,” says the
dog. “I’ve lived in the
Alps rescuing avalanche
victims. Then I
served my country in
Iraq. And now I work
part-time reading to
the residents in a retirement
home.”
The couple are
amazed by this. They
can’t believe any dog
500 Canal Street, Lewiston | 207-784-6413 | generalmail@androtitle.com
My mother reported me for stealing her flower holder, but her accusations were vaseless.
Continued on next page
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 39

The police told me they were looking for a man with one eye.
Seems that they would find him quicker if they used two eyes.
CALL US FOR A
QUOTE TODAY!
Out ‘n About in Brewer for the
American Legion State Convention
Reunions
Summer Camp
Road Races &
Charity 5k’s
Contractors &
Landscapers
Quality
Products
Reasonable
Pricing
205 Washington St.
South, Auburn
207-784-4184
coastaltshirts.com
Steve Simard, American Legion Post 153 Commander, was
chosen as the Post Commander of the Year. Anthony “Tony”
Jordan, Past National Commander, presented Simard the
award at the American Legion State Convention. There are
174 American Legion Posts in the State of Maine.
Simard is also a marketing specialist for
Uncle Andy’s Digest & LA Metro Magazine.
Congratulations, Steve!
We are proud to have you on our team!
Adulthood is looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.
Continued from previous page
could have done quite
so much.
One of them then asks
the dog’s owner, “Why
on earth would you
want to get rid of this
amazing dog?”
“Oh, we’re getting rid
of him because he’s a
liar. He’s not done any
of those things” says
the owner.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
40
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
Now Hiring
ALL positions!
Come in and
apply today!
The Village Inn
BEST SEAFOOD RESTAURANT
10 years in a row!
Open Wednesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com • 165 High Street, Auburn
Until you ride with someone who has a suspended license,
you don’t realize how many back roads your town has.

Why is it when a child wants to show you something, they place it directly in your cornea?
Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
16th Annual
Since 1940
• Restaurant
• Miniature Golf
• Driving Range
• Ice Cream Stand
Glow in the Dark
Mini Golf
Bananas have
to use a lot of sunscreen
because they
always peel.
August 7th @ 7pm
rollback prices!
Every other Saturday night
beginning July 3rd
9pm - 11:30pm
Great
Family
Fun!
Lou & Sue Morin
The New
Auburn Social
Club is in da
house!
You
do realize
we’re outside,
right?
Join Us!
The Maine Mini Golf Open*
August 8 th @9:30am
*The Maine Mini Golf Open is a 36 Hole Tournament
$20 entry fee • $ 500 1 st place • Cash prizes for top 5
Class nights every
Monday and Wednesday in July & August
Check out our website for details!
Golf Open 10am - 9pm • Restaurant 11am - 9pm
470 Lake Shore Drive, Auburn • www.tabersgolf.com
If you eat cake fast enough, your Fitbit will think you’re walking.
Mike Gooldrup,
Rose Gravel, &
Patrick Legee
Rod LaPointe
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 41

25 Fern Street, Turner
(207) 225-5012
CALL THE PROS
COMPLETE
MECHANICAL REPAIR
We’ll treat
your baby like
it’s our own!
SUMMER IS MADE FOR RELAXING
Massage is designed to help.
Call to
book your
personalized
treatment!
Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p
229 Center Street, Auburn
(207) 402-8654
www.lamassagemaine.com
Angela’s Computer & Media Shoppe
AngelasCMS.com
Call:
(207) 520-9573
Servicing Maine
Computing and Electronic Services, Install,
Fixes, and Lessons on Hardware and Software
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION CENTER
Come
see your
favorite
coach
today!
Closed
4th of July
Open daily
8am to 4pm
207-225-2008
8 Tidswell Road, Turner
Book Your Appointment Now!
NEW
LOCATION!
WEBSITES THAT WORK
Design. Build. Brand. Market.
Cuts | Colors | Foils
7 Clark Street
Auburn
207-312-5891
DREAMING OF HOME OWNERSHIP?
Let us walk you through the process
Contact
Sean
Today!
Sean Doucette
207-754-5721
sdoucette@usamortgage.com
NMLS #509638
www.MaineWeb.co
Unlimited Wash Combos
Combo #2
24 .95
$
24 per
Combo #3
includes:
.95
month
.95
$ 29 .95
per month
exterior wash,
underbody, &
poly sealant
includes: exterior
wash, underbody,
rust inhibitor, wheel
brite, tire shine, &
wax
7 Lincoln St. Lewiston
207.782.4009 • YvonsCarWash.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
42 July 2021 783-7039
Why do they call them free weights? Those things are expensive!

CALL THE PROS
marcositalian.com
REDEMPTION CENTER
6
on all 5¢ returns
¢ with this coupon.
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) UAD exp. 7.31.21
Offering:
Dining indoors
or outside
Take out
Delivery
Open 11am-7:30pm
12 MOLLISON WAY, 12 Mollison LEWISTON Way, Lewiston | 783-0336
Enjoy a meal &
your favorite
beverage on our
awesome deck!
Check out our
new deck furniture!
Live
Music on
Thursdays!
Calling all
SHOPPERS!
Hundreds and hundreds of items
from many different vendors
Closed on Tuesdays
68 Main Street, Auburn • (207) 376-2739
TEAM
KENNAGH
Shelley Kennagh
Loan Officer / NMLS 532306
(207) 890-4942
skennagh@cmgfi.com
1225 Center Street, Auburn, #100B
207-241-2489
www.mainelyhandmade.com
We make you LOOK GREAT!
FULL COLOR BOOKLETS & MORE!
Booklets • Posters • Carbonless forms
Envelopes • Business Cards & More!
Call today for a free quote!
Contact me for all of your home loan needs!
60 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com
Out ‘n About at Mel’s
Hilltop Restaurant in
Poland
Sandi Piper
&
Sue Poulin
Beef jerky is just a cow raisin.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 43

Over 15 years experience!
CALL THE PROS
Mark’s Magic
Close up & walk around
magician/mentalist
Call us TODAY for your
party or corporate event!
207-212-4214 -4214
Office, Restaurant, & Light
Industrial Cleaning Services
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890
FARRELL ENTERPRISES
BUILDINGS AND PROPERTIES CLEANED
We get down & dirty so
you don’t have to!
Nearly Anything Removed
Trash • Metals • Demolition & More!
Fully Insured
Michael Farrell
207-576-2501
RON’S
TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE
OIL CHANGES
SHOCKS
STRUTS
INSPECTIONS
TIRES
375-4924
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales
YOUR FULL
SERVICE
REPAIR
FACILITY
LARGE VARIETY OF FIREARMS & SUPPLIES ON HAND!
Happy
Birthday,
America!
Fine Line Gun Shop
590 Plains Rd., Poland • (207) 998-2374
Snorkels, Masks, Wetsuits, Fins, RashGuards
Paddleboards, Paddles, Lifejackets, Windsurf
805 Main St.
Lewiston
784-7300
Call us
today for a
FREE
ESTIMATE!
Handyman Services
Men in faith practicing a program of recovery.
Services Include:
Yard cleanup • Light Carpentry • Painting • Cleanouts
And more!
(207) 797-7997 • cfrost@rmime.us
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
44 July 2021 783-7039
I always know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes
that it’s a second passenger who’s not wearing their seat belt.

CALL THE PROS
Call
for your
FREE QUOTE
Today!
Your Vision.
Our Expertise.
Kitchens, Baths,
Decks & More!
207-212-7791
www.vghomeimprovements.com
Pat’s is a great place to enjoy a meal
inside or outside on the deck!
Serving
Great Food
Since
1985!
85 Center Street, Auburn
207-784-8221 • patsauburn.com
11a-9p daily
Protect your car from the summer heat!
Lincoln Street
RADIATOR SHOP
Family owned & operated since 1967
We are your A/C specialists!
207-784-9356
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p
Call our team of
marketing experts at
207-783-7039 to help bring
Top of Mind Awareness to
your business! We can help
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Out ‘n About at Fox Ridge Golf Club for the
27th Annual Auburn-Lewiston Rotary Invitational Golf Classic
The Uncle Andy’s Digest Team
Dan Snow, Bill Murphy, Steve Simard, & Fern Langlois
If you call me from a private number, I will respect your privacy and not answer it.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 45

For 25 Years of O
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
✁Expires 8/31/96
FREE
Have
Fun
Reading
Whimsical
Quotes
and
Fascinating
Facts!
Thousands of Readers and Growing
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207-782-7113
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
Celebrating
ut ’n About Fun!
UNCLE
ANDY’S
DIGEST SINCE
GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Years
JUNE
2021
DAILY, WEEKLY, & MONTHLY
RENTALS AVAILABLE!
For details, call Ryan Kennard
207-346-0279
1996
Whited Equipment Co. is your
New Factory Authorized Hyundai
Construction Equipment dealer
for Central & Southern Maine.
New & used available!
Sales • Lease • Rentals
Parts & Service
whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
Topsham Tractor & Equipment
403 Lewiston Road, Topsham
Open: 8-5 Mon-Fri / 8-2 Sat 207-209-2000
June 2021 UncleAndys.com 1
.with
Jimbo

Out ‘n About in
Auburn
for the New Auburn Village
Block Party
I bet at
first glance you
thought I was
wearing a tiny hat.
Look again!
Having kids makes you realize how dumb your lies sounded to your parents.
Saturday, August 14 th
1:00 - 9:00pm
OUTSIDE, NEXT TO MAC’S GRILL
1052 Minot Ave. Auburn
UNCLE AND
pres
Fun for
Everyone!
Sandy Tabor &
Mike Gammon
Always eat
dessert first!
Especially when that
dessert is made by
Rolly’s!
Arianna Wasnea
& Pauline
Raymond-Toth
• Kid’s Zone w/ 95' Inflatable
Obstacle Course
• HUGE Silent Auction
• Dunk Tank
• Face Painting
• Mr. Drew & His Animals Too
• Great Food
• Beer Garden & Full Bar
• 50/50
A great
Community
Event!
Food, Fun, & M
hoste
OUR AMAZING
Renald Lefebvre
Fire in the Hole Band
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
48 July 2021 783-7039
You never know real concentration until you have to take a
newly filled ice cube tray from the sink to the freezer.

Y’S DIGEST
ents
Some of us are still “it” from a childhood game of tag.
3
BANDS!
More than
Meets the Eye
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Jason is working for
a film company and
the director is looking
for people to act in
the next Transformers
movie.
usic to Benefit
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So far, auditions have
been going terribly and
the director is starting
to get desperate. The
director turns to Jason
and instructs him to
figure out a new
strategy to find a few
actors.
Jason puts up flyers
and makes countless
phone calls to no avail.
A few days later, Jason
mentions the issue to
one of his friends
who works at the local
bar.
The friend says, “Give
me three days and
you’ll have all the
people you need for
the job.”
Jason is elated because
his job depends
on it, so he gives his
friend the studio’s
address.
The next day, Jason
goes into work and
finds the director
standing in the empty
studio and fuming with
anger. Jason is confused
and asks about
the situation.
Continued on next page
Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with
Jimbo
July 2021 UncleAndys.com 49

Continued from previous page
The director gives a
short, curt, response.
“You’re fired!”
Jason, still perplexed
by the situation, packs
up his things and goes
home. He turns on the
news that night and
sees that the studio had
been robbed; absolutely
everything was gone.
Jason called up his
friend and asked where
he found the actors.
The friend replies,
“Actors? I thought you
said you needed some
people to be deceptive
cons.”
Jason is furious. He
screams at the man on
the other line, “The job
was acting in a Transformers
movie, you idiot!
I said decepticons,
not deceptive cons!”
Geography
Class
Submitted by Steve Simard
In Geography class
one day, the teacher
asked if anyone knew
where North America
was on the map.
You know you’re over 30 when you clean the house to the music you used to party to.
LA ’ s premiere
LIFESTYLE
magazine
SUMMER 2021
LA METRO
MAGAZINE
OPERATION REBOOT
OUTDOORS
An undying commitment
Page 37
+
SKELTON TAINTOR & ABBOTT
The secret to longevity
CITY OF LEWISTON, PART 3
Who’s who in Lew
Little Sherry raised her
hand and walked up
to the map and pointed
correctly to North
America.
“Wonderful, Sherry!”
said the teacher. “Now,
class, can you tell me
who discovered North
America?”
“Sherry did!” yelled the
class in unison!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
50
Jimbo
July 2021 783-7039
Get your Copy. Support YOUR Community.
Advertise.
www.LAMetroMagazine.com
Chocolate comes from cocoa. Cocoa comes from a tree. A tree is plant.
Chocolate is salad.

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with this coupon
Exp. 07/31/21
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
52 July 2021 783-7039
UncleAndysDigest.com
Jimbo
Ready for Summer Fun?!
Schedule your pool service today!
Monday - Friday: 9a-5p, Saturday: 9a-4p
1975 Lisbon St., Rte. 196, Lewiston
783-0858 • www.abcpool.com
Ask us about our
eco-friendly line!
Low
Chlorine!
True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what’s right.
CELEBRATE OUR FREEDOM!
Get
your goodies
at Georgio’s for
all your family &
friends!
Locally owned & operated
« HOT & COLD
SANDWICHES
« DONUTS
& PASTRIES
« DESSERTS
& SNACKS
GEORGIO’S
Serving Greater LA since the 1950s
207-783-2981
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • www.mygeorgiosmaine.com