Uncle Andy's Digest - June 2022 Digest
We are celebrating Dads this month. This issue is full of fun each month! You'll find Out 'n About pictures, hilarious jokes & one-liners, and the Digest is a one-stop shop for all your neighborhood businesses!
We are celebrating Dads this month.
This issue is full of fun each month! You'll find Out 'n About pictures, hilarious jokes & one-liners, and the Digest is a one-stop shop for all your neighborhood businesses!
You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
JUNE
2022
SINCE 1996
207-782-7113
Get Your FREE
Quote Today!
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
Your Locally Owned Crystal & Tumbled Stone Shop
120 Center Street
Auburn
207-241-2356
Maine Mall
South Portland
207-274-2539
123 Main Street
Freeport
207-885-0900
449 Forest Ave
Portland
207-221-2363
Crystals, Metaphysical, Holistic Gifts, & MORE!
Tarot, Akashic Records, Reiki, Psychic & Medium Services
www.bridge2heavenhealing.com | www.leapinlizards.biz
GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service
DAILY, WEEKLY, &
MONTHLY RENTALS
AVAILABLE!
Call Ryan Kennard
207-346-0279
Whited Equipment Co. is your
New Factory Authorized Hyundai
Construction Equipment dealer
for Central & Southern Maine.
New & used available!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
1
Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those
“I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.
Commercial/Office
Construction Sites
Apartment Turnovers
Floors/Tile/Carpets
PROFESSIONALISM | QUALITY | RELIABILITY
Serving Maine and
New Hampshire!
We have over
50 dedicated employees
to service all of your
cleaning needs
207.712.2765 • www.deepcleanjs.com
Cyndi’s Dockside Restaurant
Spring hours - Wednesday - Sunday
Enjoy dining inside with air
conditioning or outside on the
deck or lakeside picnic tables!
Appetizers, Soups, Maine Lobster,
Salads, Lobster Rolls, Seafood,
Sandwiches, Pizza, Steak, All
Natural Burgers, Kid’s Menu, Full
bar & More!
Take out available!
The Friendliest Staff Anywhere!
(207) 998-5008
www.dockside.me
723 Maine Street
Poland Spring, Maine 04274
Lunch- Dinner
The next time gas prices are under $3, I’m going to stock up and put some in the freezer.
I think I’m going to join a flying school. It will be so uplifting.
MODERN WOODMEN
OF AMERICA
JUNE 2022
ACTIVITIES
Wednesday, June 8th
Dairy Joy
3:00-7:00pm
Auburn & Lewiston Locations
M: $1.00 G: $1.50
Purchase Tickets: 6-01-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Thursday, June 9th
Val’s Drive-In
4:00-7:00pm
925 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
M: $6.50 G: $7.50
Purchase Tickets: 6-01-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Saturday, June 11th
Community Shredding Event
(Open to the Public)
8:00-11:00am
184 Webster Street, Lewiston
Free Event for the Community:
We will be hosting a drivethrough
shredding event.
Without A Trace Mobile Shredding
Vehicle will be at the
office shredding documents.
Three Boxes per person.
Shredding Services are for
Residential Only
Tuesday, June 14th
Roy’s Breakfast
7:00-10:00am
5 Washington Street, Auburn
M: $5.00 G: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: 6-01-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Tuesday, June 21st
Taber’s
4:00-7:00pm
470 Lake Shore Drive, Auburn
M: $10.00 G: $11.00
Purchase Tickets: 6-15-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Thursday, June 23rd
Mandarin Buffet
11:00-1:00pm
750 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
M: $8.50 G: $10.00
Purchase Tickets: 6-15-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Thursday, June 30th
Fielder’s Choice
4:00-7:00pm
680 Minot Ave Auburn
M: $2.50 G: $3.00
Purchase Tickets: 6-15-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Reminder:
Please do not call the
restaurants. If you have a
question, please call the office
at 207-782-1833 and speak
with Jamie. Tickets must be
purchased at the MWA District
Office at 184 Webster Street
Lewiston on the dates/times
listed for each activity. Menus
are subject to change. No
substitutions or add-ons.
Most importantly – Have Fun!
I made a hot breakfast for my family this morning,
though I’m not one to blow my own crumpet.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
3
Uncle Andy’s Digest
is published by the first
Friday of every month by
Maine Mountain Ocean
Group, Inc. with its world
headquarters located at
9 Grove Street, Auburn,
Maine, USA.
Published and distributed
since 1996 throughout
Central Maine and mailed to
subscribers all over the Free
World. Subscriptions are
$39/year.
UncleAndysDigest.com
Office: 207-783-7039
UAD Super Heroes
CAPTAIN
JIMBO
It’s tough to work on my summer body when my favorite exercise is chewing.
SMILE AGAIN DENTURES
Call 514-0660 for a Free Consultation!
All work
done on-site.
Repairs usually
same day
service!
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
Smile in
Comfort
WONDER
WOMAN
TYLA
HULK
SMASH
THOMAS
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
4
BATGIRL
STEPHANIE
IRONSIDES
STEVE
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries
very hard to ensure the accuracy
of the information in our clients’
advertisements and our publication
in general, we are not responsible
for vendor availability, typographical
errors, technical inaccuracies, product
pricing errors, or omissions.
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
Joe & Mike
Adkins
Licensed
Denturists
Call us today for:
• Full Dentures
• Immediate Dentures
• Partial Dentures
• Rebases • Relines • Repairs
Like Our Name Implies,
We’ll Make You
SMILE
AGAIN
smileagaindentures@gmail.com SmileAgainDentures.com
My next door neighbor and I used to share our water supply. We got a long well.
I have a broken retro guitar for sale. No strings attached!
Come see Kathy & Joe!
Scan
here to
see our
menu!
Out ‘n About at
Garden Spot
Farms
for Mother’s Day
What do my
plants and flowers
have in common with
the Digest? Both
legendary!
Dennis Peaslee
Owner
Wed: 7am-3pm • Thurs: 7am-8pm • Fri: 7am-9pm Sat: 7am-9pm • Sun: 7am-3pm
103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston • 207-333-5062 • stationgrillrestaurant.com
We will be closed from July 4 to July 12 for vacation.
I hate
when people ask
me what my favorite
flower is. It really
puts me in an orchid
situation.
We will be
closed from
July 4 to July12
for vacation.
Abbi Martin
551 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
207-777-1155 • www.schemengees.com
Hours through June 19th
Monday-Thursday: 4:00pm-11:00pm • Friday-Saturday: 4:00pm-1:00am
Hours from June 20th through September
Wednesday-Thursday: 4:00pm-11:00pm • Friday-Saturday: 4:00pm-1:00am
The fact that there is a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot.
Adeline & Seren
Sinisi
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
5
Pilots are just plane people.
Out ‘n About at Garden Spot Farms
for Mother’s Day
It’s why I’m here.
Your home and car are more than just things.
They’re where you make memories – and they
deserve the right protection. I get it. It’s why
I’m here.
LET’S TALK TODAY.
Vinka, Adeline, & Steve Sinisi
Short
Submitted by Thomas Hill
Today while making
dinner with the entire
family, my dad asked
my younger sister to
get the meat out the
freezer. My sister opens
the fridge and is on her
toes to reach the meat.
You can hear the determination
in her exhales
as she tries stretching
to reach.
The entire family is
watching intensely
when my dad blurts
out, “The steaks have
never been higher.”
Everyone immediately
walks out of the kitchen,
including my sister.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
6
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
NEXT? WE DO. ®
WATER FIRE MOLD
For any disaster,
29 Brickyard Circle,
Auburn
(800) 244-7630
call ServiceMaster!
(207) 539-4452 www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com
They’re called Brats because they’re just immature sausages.
We’re MORE than a Club —
we’re a Special Events Venue too.
Are you planning an upcoming
company meeting, party, fundraiser
event, class reunion, rehearsal
dinner, or have a small wedding?
The Colisée Club
can help you!
WE OFFER:
• Seating capacity of 130
• Catering services available
• Fully stocked bar
• Audio visual support
BOOK YOUR EVENT or
SCHEDULE a WALK
THROUGH by emailing us
at info@thecolisee.com.
www.thecolisee.com
Join us for
We Want
YOU
TO BE
OUR
BILLETS
June 3rd
Open signups 7pm – close
Doors open at 6pm
karaoke starts at 7pm
Info call 207-783-2009 or email
info@thecoliseeclub.com
Join Nord Nation as one of our Billet Families!
We need local families to open their homes to our players. Play a special role
in a players road to success. You’ll help our team pursue their hockey goals by
welcoming them into your home. Develop a unique bond with your billet
player that goes far beyond the ice.
PLAYERS ARE:
• 16 – 20 years old • College bound athletes
• From around the globe
Interested families should email Tiffany
for more info at info@thecolisee.com.
RECEIVE A
MONTHLY STIPEND TO
COVER PLAYER COSTS.
Also, receive season tickets
to cheer on your Nordique!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!
You are a vital piece of the Nordique Nation Puzzle.
Out ‘n About at
Garden Spot
Farms
for Mother’s Day
Garden
Spot Farms is a
great place to spend
Mother’s Day every
year!
Alana & Azalea
Callahan
If the Pope were to bless an avocado would that make it holy guacamole?
Take Out
Available!
YOU KNOW YOU WANT
TO TRY SOME OF THIS!
Chicken Teriyaki
Sauteéd chicken breast with fresh
veggies and teriyaki served over rice
207-782-2135 Auburn Mall
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
DAILY SPECIALS
MONDAY - CLOSED
TUESDAY
Fried Pickle Basket
Thatcher’s Burger
25oz domestic drafts
WEDNESDAY
3 Beef Tacos
Thatcher’s Burrito
Well Margaritas • Coronas
SATURDAY
2 Hot Dogs w/fries
Miller Lite Bottles
THURSDAY
Stuffed Peppers
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Microbrews
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket
Fish & Chips
SUNDAY
12" Cheese Pizza
Bloody Mary’s
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts
My credit is so bad, some places refuse to take cash from me.
Brian, Cash,
Nora & Danielle
McEwen
Stealing
flowers is a crime!
It’s de-flora-ble!
START YOUR NEXT CHAPTER
WITH AGENTS YOU’LL LOVE!
List/Sell • Buyer Agency • Design-Build • Turn-Key Package
(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases)
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com
Hunter Vaker
Jon
Mercier
Mark
Turner
Toni
Ferraro
Brandon
Caruso
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
Regina
Ritchie
Dustin
Mallar
Mason
Dupuis
Lindsay
Wright
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
8 June 2022 783-7039
A burglar broke into our house last night, but I didn’t shoot him.
I just put a red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.
HAS IT ALL
Proud sponsors of the
Your one-stop shop for:
• Amazing food (eat in or take out)
• Agency liquor store with beer cave
• Lottery tickets
• Redemption center
Benefiting
Make-A-Wish Maine
207-345-5551
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com
Catering
Full serve catering at the
location of your choice.
Book Your
2023
Events
Now!
207-345-9009
DadsPlaceCatering.com
6¢ a
bottle for
Make-A-Wish
Donations!
Dad’s Redemption Center
Redemption Center is
directly behind Dad’s Place
DONATE YOUR
BOTTLES TO
Help grant a wish to a local child
battling a critical illness
See our redemption ad on page 40.
Out ‘n About at
Garden Spot
Farms
for Mother’s Day
I didn’t
think I’d be into
flowers, but I planted
some seeds and
now they’re growing
on me.
If a locksmith goes on strike, does he picket?
Local Arborist with over
20 Years experience!
√ Difficult Tree
Removals
√ Storm Damage
Clean up
√ Pruning
√ Trimming
√ Chipping
√ Lot Clearing
Call us
TODAY for a
FREE Quote!
Servicing all of Androscoggin & Cumberland counties
Out ‘n About at the Auburn-Lewiston Municipal Airport for the Big
Brothers Big Sisters of Mid-Maine Plane Pull
Jill Keith,
Elizabeth Keith, &
Sidney Freeman
I think
I’m going to plant
some flowers when I
get home.
Back Row:
Rae Ellis, Dan Ellis,
Tyler Albert, DeAnthoy
Echols, Sheila Judkins,
& Gary Judkins
Front Row:
Stephanie Dube &
Hassan Bouh
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
10
How
are you
gonna do that?
You haven’t
botany.
Kurt, Connor,
Zach, & Katie
Campbell
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
Bringing the Ocean to your Table
Party
Platters
Available
(orders only)
Take out • Dine in
Homemade Goods
Gift Certificates Available
The freshest seafood around!
Gray, ME
Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p
WE HAVE
LIVE
LOBSTERS!
Let us do the cooking!
No extra charge!
207-657-3474
59c Portland Road, Gray
The best way to annoy my editor is turning off the automatic spellchecker.
MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE
EVERY MONDAY
20% OFF
All Burgers
30% OFF
All Drafts
EVERY TUESDAY
75¢
WINGS
SAVE THE DATE!
SATURDAY, AUG. 13 TH
hosted by
Dad deserves it!
Treat Dad at Mac’s this Father’s Day!
We Cater!
Mac’s
offers the best
catering service
around!
Cheers to all the
awesome dads out
there!!
Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays,
Corporate Parties, and more!
No event too BIG or SMALL...
We cater it ALL!
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
Domestic
Crustaceans
Submitted by Thomas Hill
A Game Warden is
walking along a beach
one morning when he
spots a man with a
bucket of lobsters.
The Warden walks up
to the man, flashes
his badge and says,
“You’re in big trouble,
buddy. Poaching
lobsters is a serious
offense.”
The man answers,
“You’ve got it all wrong!
These lobsters are my
pets! Every morning I
take them out for some
exercise. I let them
swim around in the
ocean for a few minutes
and then whistle
them back in.”
The Warden looks at
the man skeptically
and says, “Okay then,
prove it.”
The man proceeds to
throw the lobsters into
the ocean and both he
and the Warden stand
there waiting. After a
couple minutes the
Warden looks at the
man and says, “That’s
long enough, now
whistle your lobsters
back in.”
The man turns to the
Warden and says
“Lobsters? What
lobsters?”
Tickets: Advance – $28 each ~ Door – $33 each
(includes fees)
One good turn gets all the blankets.
Join us for the 23rd season at our
Performing Arts and Events Center
on Riverfront Island in Lewiston.
More info coming soon.
Order tickets: FrancoCenter.org or call: (207) 689-2000
46 Cedar Street, Lewiston, ME 04240 • FrancoCenter.org • facebook.com/FrancoCenter
UNDERWRITER
2021-2022 SEASON
Take May this Your Seats …
performance
It’s Showtime!
carry you to a
new place.
Friday, June 17 – 7:00 PM
in Performance Hall
1-800-966-9172
Doors and cash bar open androscogginbank.com
at 6:00 PM
Show sponsor:
La Rencontre Lunch and Entertainment
Thursday, June 23 in Heritage Hall
Doors open at 9:30 AM ~ 10:00 AM social time ~ Lunch 11:30
Entertainment after lunch by Don & Cindy Roy
Lunch menu: Chicken pot pie, coleslaw and whoopie pie. Coffee & tea included. Bar available for other beverages.
Sponsor:
A celebration
of St. Jean de
Baptiste Day!
Advanced tickets only. Deadline is Monday, June 20 at noon.
$15 ~ includes meal and entertainment. Tickets will not be sold at the door
A conversational French club for French speakers
will be held at 10:30am in Heritage Hall
on alternating Thursday mornings: June 9;
June 23 ~ join us for La Rencontre, July 7, July 21, etc.
Starting July 14 – Thursday Night Live in Heritage Hall
Alternating dance and karaoke events!
Entertainment will feature live music and DJs.
Check our calendar
at francocenter.org to find out
what’s going on at the Franco.
For The
Crowd
MEDIA SPONSORS
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
12 June 2022 783-7039
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only more slowly.
My cell phone is plugged in so often it might as well be a landline.
Out ‘n About at
Garden Spot
Farms
for Mother’s Day
Melody Bertrand
& Jodie Dancsak
Join us at the Chapman House
for a new beginning!
Flowers,
plants, and my
favorite magazine...
it doesn’t get any
better than this!
Kristen Hurd
Welcome, Summer!
The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents,
aged 65 and older, that need assistance with bathing,
medications, and meals.
We provide a warm and
comfortable home for our residents
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn • 207-783-0961
I just found out Canada isn’t real. Turns out it was all just maple leaf.
Bonnie Iwans
I wanted
to tell a joke
about plants to go
into the Digest, but
I couldn’t think of
any funny ones.
I guess thistle
have to do.
Michael and
Randi Flydrakenn
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
13
Out ‘n About at
Garden Spot
Farms
for Mother’s Day
I was
worried these
plants might be fake,
but they’re not.
What a real leaf!
Getting older is like living in a haunted house.
There are lots of noises and smells you just can’t explain!
Tina Simard
Please,
please, no pictures!
I’m tired of the
paparazzi!
I’m probably single because I didn’t forward those chain messages in 1995.
Out ‘n About at Side by Each Brewing Co. with
Androscoggin Trivia Company for The Office themed trivia
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
14
Maxine, Page,
Jake, & Anna
Atherton
Okay...
maybe just one
picture.
Maxine & Page
Atherton
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
Androscoggin Trivia
Company hosts Kate
Perry (left) and Nick
Perry (right) with The
Office Trivia winner,
Abbey Sanborn.
Sanborn’s team name,
“Urkel Grue,” is a
popular reference from
The Office.
Sanborn won a Faces of
Scranton poster with all
the characters and
cameos from the show!
BREAKING NEWS: Baseball will no longer be played in Rome
due to the fall of the Roman umpire.
For the ladies waiting for their prince on a white horse, don’t give up!
With recent prices in fuel, it can happen any second now!
MONDAY
Ham Italians
Sm $2.29 Lg. $3.99
FRIDAY
Tuna Italian
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
MAIN STREET MARKET
2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502
WEDNESDAY
Chicken Salad
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
SUNDAY
$2.00 OFF
Any large pizza
Hours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a week
I went to trial for stealing my neighbor’s electricity. I was found guilty as charged.
Come be the Difference in Someone’s Life!
NOW HIRING CNAs and DSPs
Are you a compassionate individual who enjoys working
with people in their home and in the community?
Join our team of caring professionals!
Apply online at jfmh.org
or visit us at 800 Center St, Auburn
TUESDAY
Small 1-topping Pizza
10" pizza $4.99
THURSDAY
Bowl of Chili
$4.49
SATURDAY
Baked Beans
Pint $3.99 Quart $4.99
Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49
We accept cash, checks,
major credit/debit cards, & EBT
John F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with all
local, state, and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided.
I could always see myself being a mirror installer.
B.L.T.
Sm. $2.99
Lg. $4.99
Breakfast Sandwiches $2.29
Hash browns 2/$1.59
Coffee all sizes $0.99
Big Dreams
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Mike and Anna were
on their way home one
night when Mike pulled
into a local convenience
store.
“The Powerball is
really high this week.
We should buy a few
tickets. You can’t win if
you don’t play, right?”
said Mike.
“That’s a good idea,”
replied Anna.
“Hey, out of curiosity,
if you won the lottery
would you still love
me?” asked Mike.
“Of course I would. I’d
miss you, but I’d still
love you.”
Work
Commute
Submitted by Steve Simard
One sunny Friday afternoon,
Jimbo walked
into Tyla’s office and
sat down.
“I know you like to
hang out at camp on
the weekends, but I
need you here in the
office,” he told her.
“No problem,” Tyla
replied. “I may be a bit
late though, my car is
in the shop and public
transportation on the
weekends can be pretty
slow.”
“Okay, when do you
think you can get
here?” asked Jimbo.
“Monday at 8:00am.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
15
Fresh Walls
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Travis had just moved
into a new neighborhood.
While he was
unpacking, he noticed
a woman next door
smoothing out new
wallpaper. Travis
waited a couple of
days and saw through
the window that the
wallpaper job was
beautifully done.
He went over to the
neighbor’s house and
knocked. When the
woman answered, he
said, “Hi there! I just
moved in next door
and couldn’t help but
notice the new wallpaper
on your walls. I am
interested in doing my
the walls in my home
too and our houses
seem to be the same
size and layout. Can
you tell me how many
rolls of paper you
bought?”
“Welcome to the neighborhood,”
said the
woman. “I bought 16
rolls of wallpaper for
my home. Good luck
with your project.”
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife,
but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not
fall into previous defined war era’s
may now join the American Legion
immediately. The eligibility now
spans from Dec. 7, 1941, until a time
when the U.S. is no longer at war, as
determined by Congress.
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
Members & Guests Welcome!
HOURS: Mon-Wed: 12-8p • Thurs: 12-9p • Fri & Sat: 12-11p • Sunday: 11a-6p
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS 7-11pm in May
Jerry Joe - June 3rd & 17th • 4:30 - 6:30pm
JUNE 10TH & 11TH
The American Legion Annual State Convention
Jeff’s Catering & Event Center
15 Littlefield Way
Brewer, ME
FMI: www.mainelegion.org/pages/news-events/state-convention.php
MONTHLY MEETING
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15 TH
I don’t age like fine wine. I age like milk... sour and chunky.
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM
GENERAL MEETING, 7PM
Legion members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25.
June 19th
Bloody Mary Sundays by
Kevin 11am-6pm!
Out ‘n About at Garden Spot Farms for Mother’s Day
Travis thanked her
and went to the store
to buy the wallpaper.
After the job was
finished, he returned
to her home and said,
“Thanks for the advice.
The new walls look
awesome. I’m am left
wondering though, do
you know why I have
six rolls of wallpaper
leftover?”
“Yeah, me too.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
16 June 2022 783-7039
Katelin Urgese, Violet, & Hattie Paquette, and Debbie & John Urgese
My pirate friend has taken up boxing. You should see his right hook.
Being funny at work is a delicate balance of being just enough funny to
entertain your coworkers without getting sent to HR.
PROTECT Your Business.
PROTECT Yourself.
We are Maine’s largest
resource for background
searches
207-783-0000783-0000
corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
This was
the second
annual plane pull
fundraiser for Big
Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine. This fun
community event raised
more than $10,300!
Congratulations to the
Lewiston Police
Department for
taking the trophy
two years in
a row!
ROEBUCKS ANGUS
Tell us
you saw us
in Uncle Andy’s
Digest!
INSPECTED
Visit, Call, Or Text!
JAY 207.754.1558 • SUE 207.754.6558
783 UPPER STREET, TURNER
HOURS: Mon-Fri 12-5:30p, Sat 9a-4p, Sun Closed
• REGISTERED ANGUS
• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF
• MEAT PACKAGES
• GIFT CERTIFICATES
Jennifer Cartmell
Big Brothers Big Sisters of
Mid-Maine Androscoggin
Manager
PROTECT YOURSELF
with the right coverage at the right price
• RISK CONSULTING
• BUSINESS ANALYTICS
• INDUSTRY EXPERTISE
• CLAIMS SUPPORT
• ENTERPRISE RISK MANAGEMENT
• ALTERNATIVE RISK TRANSFERS
It was a
perfect day for
a great cause! Thank
you to all the teams
who participated and
to those who came
to watch!
Contact JOHN BLANCHETTE today at 207-784-9358
My wife shops until I can’t afford to save anymore.
www.nfp.com
Insurance services provided through NFP Property & Casualty Services, Inc. (PC-19126-16) Copyright © 2016 NFP. All rights reserved.
Rebecca Emery
Elite Airways
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
17
Now
Hiring
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
We are Looking for
Licensed Electricians
Apply
Within
This is no
tiny airplane!
This thing they have
to pull is a beast. It
is a CRJ 200 Jet Aircraft
that weighs
35,000 pounds.
RoySnow.com
207.782.3734
Serving Maine since 1947
11 Library Ave.
Auburn
IS YOUR BUSINESS HIRING?
Advertise in our
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
section to get your job opening viewed by more
than 20,000 readers each month! Call today FMI!
207-783-7039
Dave Eid
WGME-13/Event emcee
I’m pretty
sure the entire
crowd here combined
doesn’t weight that
much!
COME JOIN OUR TEAM!
You’ll be glad you did!
We’re hiring Direct Support Professionals
Jason Levesque
Auburn Mayor/Event emcee
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
18
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
To apply:
www.jfmh.org or 207-783-2726 x202
My husband would take a bullet for me, but then criticize the way
I drove him to the hospital afterwards.
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
24 Hour
Service
235 N. River Road, Auburn
207-777-5600
www.pro-techrefrigeration.com
protechoffice11@yahoo.com
Fully Insured
PRO-TECH
REFRIGERATION
IS GROWING!
We are seeking experienced
service technicians to join our team!
Keep your heat pump running at
optimal performance and
efficiency by having us complete
a thorough cleaning and
preventative maintenance service!
Air Conditioning & Heating
Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston,
and the surrounding communities!
I once stole a flock of crows and nobody caught me. I got away with murder!
Out ‘n About at the Auburn-Lewiston Municipal Airport for the Big
Brothers Big Sisters of Mid-Maine Plane Pull
Now
Hiring
Price Change
Submitted by Thomas Hill
My wife and I went to
breakfast at a restaurant
where the “Senior
Special” was two eggs,
bacon, hash browns,
and toast for $4.99.
“Sounds good,” my
wife said, “but I don’t
want the eggs.”
“Then I’ll have to
charge you $5.49 because
you’re ordering
a la carte,” the waitress
warned her.
“You mean I’d have to
pay more for not taking
the eggs?” my wife
asked incredulously.
“Yes,” said the waitress.
“I’ll take the special,
then,” my wife said.
“How do you want your
eggs?” the waitress
asked.
“Raw and in the shell,”
my wife replied.
She took the two eggs
home and baked a
cake.
The Lewiston Police Department wins for the second year in a row,
pulling the 35,000 pound jet 20 feet in 7.7 seconds!
Exercise gives you the energy you need to exercise.
Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
19
Transform lives,
one wish at a time.
Proud Supporter of
Top
Pay!
NOW HIRING
Experienced line cooks
401K & Health Insurance Available
Earned Paid Leave • Food Discounts
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn
783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
Tyla Davis, Editor
207-346-1488 • design@uncleandys.com
Foundations Flat Work Patios Slabs
Residential & Commercial
Locally Owned & Operated
Fully Insured
References Available
James Ackerman
720-357-7184
Parts and Service for Commercial
Cooking and Refrigeration Equipment
RANGE POND
CAMPGROUND
Four Generations of
The Taylor Family
185 Webster St. Lewiston
207-240-6415
UNLOCKING THE POWER OF
UNLOCKING THE POWER OF
THE KITCHEN
800-540-5427 COMMERCIAL | www.pinetreefoodequipment.com
COOKING AND
REFRIGERATION SERVICES
SERVING MAINE & NEW HAMPSHIRE
Top
Pay!
1(800) 540-5427 |
www.pinetreefoodequipment.com
Proud supporters of
94 Plains Road, Poland
207-998-2624
rangepondcamp@gmail.com
NOW HIRING
Experienced line cooks
401K & Health Insurance Available
Earned Paid Leave • Food Discounts
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn
783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
Be Your
Own Boss!
FREE
CONSULT!
Kacey LePage
Direct Line: 207-753-6204
Kacey@champoux-ins.com
A proud
wish granter
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
We proudly support
207-530-8890
Organization services
for your home & office
Elaine St. Pierre
simplyorganizedspaces.me
207-376-7828
simplyorganizedspacesmaine@gmail.com
Time for a change?
It’s worth a conversation.
Chris Wallace, RVP
207-653-3424
Top
Pay!
Steve Simard
Businesses & individuals can help make it
possible to grant a wish for a child suffering
from a serious illness. Please Donate!
Call me
to find out
how!
207-754-1815
steve@uncleandys.com
NOW HIRING
Experienced line cooks
401K & Health Insurance Available
Earned Paid Leave • Food Discounts
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn
783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Accounting & Tax Service You Can Trust
207-782-1040
Thank you!
&
Resilience
Physical Therapy
and Wellness, LLC
“Recover what
moves you.”
www.resilienceptw.com
Not sure if we treat it?
REACH OUT!
Roy’s
FOODLAND
Helping grant a wish to a
sick child is rewarding!
70 Broad Street, Auburn
Top
Pay!
NICOLE LAJOIE of
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
Proudly Supporting
Christopher D Wallace
Preparer/Owner
Office: 207-892-1480
Fax: 888-565-1173
chris@sbsme.biz
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Proudly Supports
NOW HIRING
Experienced line cooks
401K & Health Insurance Available
Earned Paid Leave • Food Discounts
Let us build that dream deck for you!
207-212-7791
207-753-6222
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn
nicole@champoux-ins.com 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
www.vghomeimprovements.com
Heather Lagueux Shelley
Heather@SDgraphics.com
207.212.4176
This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers.
Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity.
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
These
teams will
certainly appreciate
the invention of the
wheel today.
Mark Breton &
James Scheller*
*Airport Manager
Did you know
that our runway is
5,001 feet?
I like to keep a potato masher in the drawer just so we can have
fun trying to open that drawer.
Champoux Insurance Agency, Inc.
Honored as Top Performing Agency
Champoux Insurance Agency, Inc. has been recognized by Ohio Mutual Insurance Group President &
CEO Mark C. Russell a one of the company’s Top 10 agencies for Outstanding Profitable Growth in 2021.
Champoux has represented Ohio Mutual since 2016.
“We are honored to recognize Champoux Insurance Agency, Inc. as a key business partner that focuses on
a strong commitment to growing their business in a profitable manner,” said Russell. “They continuously
represent our company’s vision through their strong loyalty in delivering exception customer service by
creating and maintaining lasting relationships.”
Ohio Mutual Insurance Group, founded in 1901, partners with nearly 400 independent agencies to
distribute quality property and casualty insurance products throughout several states, including Maine.
Ohio Mutual has maintained a rating of “A/Stable” from A.M. Best Co. since 1993. More information is
available at www.omig.com.
We’ve Got
You Covered
Home
Auto
Business
and more!
Blunt pencils are really pointless.
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Locally Owned & Operated Since 1999
150 East Avenue, Lewiston 207-783-2246
Out ‘n About at American Legion Post 153
for the benefit dinner for Annie Anthony
Bob Poulin
Kelsie Heath &
Cheryl Daye
Benjamin Bergmann &
Kahdiana Knight
Benjamin Bergmann, Annie Anthony,
& Jackie Bergmann
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
22 June 2022 783-7039
I saw on the news that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your house. So I moved.
I’m going to separate from my husband because he won’t stop singing “Eye of the Tiger.”
We’re going through a Rocky patch.
Eligible for Medicare?
CALL US TODAY
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.
30+
Years of
Experience!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
I saw a hippy drowning in the sea. I tried to save him but he was too far out, man.
Enjoy Happy Hour
Every Monday - Friday from 2p-5p!
47 Broad Street, Auburn
www.firehouseauburn.com
207-376-4959
June Drink Special
Blackberry Mojito
$
8
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
Come in
and check
out our
awesome
daily
specials!
Getting Old
Submitted by Thomas Hill
Three old ladies were
sitting at the dinner
table discussing their
problems with getting
old.
The first one said,
“Sometimes I catch
myself with a jar of
mayonnaise in my
hand, while standing in
front of the refrigerator,
and I can’t remember
whether I need to put it
away, or start making a
sandwich.”
The second lady says,
“Yes, sometimes I find
myself on the landing
of the stairs and can’t
remember whether I
was on my way up or
on my way down.”
The third one says,
“Well, ladies, I’m glad
I don’t have any of
those problems, knock
on wood.”
As she hit her knuckles
on the table she
looked up and said,
“That must be the
door... I’ll get it!”
I went to the local baker and tried to order shortbread. They told me they don’t make it any longer.
EST.1950
54 Mill Street
New Auburn
Appointments
and walk-ins
welcome!
783-3444
OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30a-5:30p, Sat 7:30a-2p
Booth Rentals Available
Tina with Michelle Bell
Follow her to Bell Farms!
Photo by Sue Bell Dostie
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked me if it was to scale.
I told him that it was to look at.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
23
I asked my best friend, my childhood sweetheart, and the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me.
All three turned me down.
OUTSIDE
is the New Inside
CALL OF THE WILD
RV CENTER
848 Main Street, Oxford
207-539-4410
www.callofthewildrv.com
Steve Simard
Marketing Specialist
207.754.1815
steve@
UncleAndys.com
9 Grove Street,
Auburn, ME 04210
Office:
207-783-7039
Soft Serve Maple
Ice Cream!
Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p
Shuga Shak Country Store
Maple Baked Beans
every Saturday!
Wine • Local Products
Honey • Pickles • Jams
Candies • Crafts...
and much more!
450 Pigeon Hill Road
(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls
207-576-7886
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
ARE YOU READY
FOR SUMMER?
June 2022
Stickers are
due!
11 12 1
10 MOTOR VEHICLE
9
8
22
7
0215697
6
23
5
2
3
4
Summer car care tips
• Wash your vehicle
• Check the tires, brakes,
oil, & battery
• Replace wipers and fluids
if necessary
Don Poisson in the tire repair room
Final Exam
Submitted by Jimbo
Every time a little boy
went to a playmate’s
house, he found the
friend’s grandmother
deeply engrossed in
her Bible. Finally his
curiosity got the better
of him.
“Why do you suppose
your grandmother
reads the Bible so
much?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” said his
friend, “but I think she’s
cramming for her finals.”
Out ‘n About at the Auburn-Lewiston Municipal Airport for the Big
Brothers Big Sisters of Mid-Maine Plane Pull
Dave Eid,
WGME-13
Rebecca Emery,
Elite Airways
Gwendolyn
Hudson,
Executive
Director of Big
Brothers Big
Sisters of
Mid-Maine
Jason
Levesque,
Auburn Mayor
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
24 June 2022 783-7039
The first musician in space was Roy Orbitson.
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.
Fool me 94,362 times, you’re a weatherman.
•Brewery•taproom•Café•Pinky D’s Food truck•Coffee by Design•
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu!
1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN 207.689.3030
/SIDEBYEACHBREWING
WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM
The Village Inn
Hidea Reyes &
Ana Moreno
Give me
a couple of years
to beef up these
arms. I’ll be pulling a
plane before you
know it!
Treat Dad to a
Surf & Turf
Dinner this
Father’s Day!
Open Wednesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com • 165 High Street, Auburn
Jackman & Chris
Taylor
I bought
my own airplane
the other day. It’s a
shame they wouldn’t
let me keep the
hangar.
“Jumbo” Phil
Sparks
Solar power is the future, but it won’t happen overnight.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
25
Teed Off
Submitted by Steve Simard
Every time I leave the door open, my mom asks me if I was raised in a barn.
Weird, you’d think she’d remember.
Joe, a notoriously bad
golfer, hits his ball
off the first tee and
watches as it slices to
the right and disappears
through an open
window.
Figuring that’s the end
of it, he gets another
ball out of his bag and
plays on.
On the eighth hole, a
police officer walks up
to Joe on the course
and says, “Did you hit
a golf ball through a
window back there?”
Joe says, “Yes I did.”
1940 ~ 2022
Treat DAD to a family fun day
this Father’s Day!
• Restaurant
• Mini Golf Course
• Driving Range
• Ice Cream Stand
Summer Hours
Miniature Golf &
Driving Range
Open Daily 10am - 9pm
(weather permitting)
Restaurant & Ice Cream Stand
Open 11am-9pm
“Well,” says the police
officer, “it knocked a
lamp over, scaring
the dog, which raced
out of the house onto
the highway. A driver
rammed into a brick
wall to avoid the dog,
sending three people
to hospital. And it’s all
because you sliced the
ball.”
“Oh my goodness,”
says Joe, “is there
anything I can do?”
470 Lake Shore Drive, Auburn • tabersgolf.com
Bad rainbows go to prism. It’s a light sentence.
Out ‘n About in Mechanic Falls with Jimbo’s Golden Retrievers
Well, my
dinner is served.
What are you guys
gonna eat?
“Yes there is. Try keeping
your head down
and close up your
stance a bit.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
26 June 2022 783-7039
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff... baa-dumm-tsss.
A plant bought me a drink at Mac’s Grill the other day. It just wanted to say aloe.
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
Two wrongs
don’t make a right,
but two Wrights can
make a plane.
De Echols & Ryan
Crocker
Did you
know that Big
Brothers Big Sisters
serves seven counties
and over 500 kids a
year in Maine?
Wish Kid
Abby
Elizabeth Bushnell,
Mae Slevinsky, &
Monica Charette
Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine
Uncle Andy’s Digest is a proud supporter
of Make-A-Wish Maine.
Consider becoming a sponsor of our
8th Annual Summer Block Party.
Visit www.LASummerBlockParty.com or call 207-783-7039
Most bees are allergic to pollen. When exposed, they develop hives.
Diane & Dennis
Chamberlain
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
27
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
The
relationship
between a big and
a little is so special!
It only takes 2-5
hours a week and it
can make a difference
in someone’s
life!
“Big” Cristina
Salois & “Little”
Kyla-Ann Ouellet
I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my car keys.
So I’m pretty sure I hate yoga.
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Happy
Father’s Day
to the best dad in the
world!
87 Mill Street, New Auburn • 753-0171
Come check out our Father’s
Day weekend special... RIBS!
Mmmm!
RollysNewAuburn.com
Mon – Sat 6 am – 2 pm,
Closed Sunday
My wife and I had a huge fight about who got to do the laundry. I finally folded.
Austin Fournier
I’ve never
pulled an airplane
before, but I can
just wing it!
Jamie Bell
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
28 June 2022 783-7039
Mirrors don’t really break, they multiply.
I lost my girlfriend because of my gambling addiction,
but I’m pretty sure I can win her back.
The Williams Broadcasting Group specializes
in the creative development of both short
format and full length Podcast shows for
radio, television, and the web.
(207)-527-2000 | www.williamsbroadcasting.net | john@williamsbroadcasting.net
Call ahead for
bulk deliveries
& loading
• Mulch
• Loam
• Compost
• 50/50 Compost/
Loam Mix
Full Line of
Bagged Mulch • Soils
Fertilizers • Pro-Mix
Garden Tools • Potting Soil
We are the largest producer of full
length podcasts in the country. Shows
like: In The Pits, Bruins Diehards, The
19th Hole, The Liars Club, Animal Chat,
Community, What a Concept, and
Pride Diehards!
Small Office Suites for Lease Month to Month
$350 Gross/Month • 124 Lisbon Street, Lewiston
Private Entrance on Park St. Alley, Steps from Parking
Perfect for Small Startup, Counselors, etc.
Maine Realty Advisors
FRANK CARR
Your real estate investment advisor
Brokering your buying & selling needs
207.252.4881 • Frank@MaineRealtyAdvisors.com
GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER
OPEN EVERY DAY 8 - 4
896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462
www.GardenSpotFarm.com
Look for specials on Facebook!
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
Tree & Shrubs
Asparagus &
Strawberry Plants
Seed Potato • Seeds
Proven Winners
10” to 12” Hanging Combination
10” Fuchsia hanging baskets $ 28
Annual Flats, Herb & Vegetable Flats
& Pots • Geraniums
I’ve joined a procrastinators group called Wait Watchers.
10 greenhouses full
of annual, perennial,
vegetable and
herb plants!
FOR ALL YOUR FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN NEEDS
9-1-1
Emergency
Submitted by Tyla Davis
A 9-1-1 operator was
just coming off of her
break when a call
came in. She quickly
put on her headset and
answered.
“9-1-1, what’s your
emergency?” asked
the operator.
“Hurry, I need an ambulance,
quick!” came
the frantic reply. “I just
saw a guy get hit by a
car. He is conscious,
but it looks like his legs
and arms are broken!”
“Okay, sir, calm down,”
the operator instructed.
“What is your location
and we’ll send help
right away.”
“I’m on Eucalyptus
street... hurry!” yelled
the man.
“Help is on the way
soon, sir,” the operator
replied. “Can you
please spell that street
name for me?”
There was a long awkward
pause and the
9-1-1 operator became
concerned.
“Sir, are you still there?
Sir, can you hear me?
If so, please spell the
name of the street that
you are currently on.”
“Yes, I’m still here. I’m
going to drag the guy
over to Pine Street and
I’ll call you right back.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
29
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
Maybe I’ll
be a pilot when I
grow up. That career
has its ups and
downs.
I suddenly realized that I’ve never had an epiphany.
Albert & Burpee Funeral
Home & Cremation Service
207-782-7201
253 Pine Street, Lewiston
www.albert-burpee.com
Traditional Funeral with metal casket & cement graveliner
All services the same day, Monday-Friday
$5995.00
(does not include cemetery, minister, newspapers & required permits)
Michael & Colton
Petrie
The bad
airplane got sent to
his room for a bad
altitude.
Polce toay have sa they are nvestgatng a strng of ID thefts.
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
The Little Maine Market
TheLittleMaineMarket.com
Upstream Strategies
UpstreamStrategies.me
Congratulations to the
2022 LA Top Gun Cohort!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
30
Rick & RJ
Bourgeois
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
ALLSPEED
TECH TUTORS
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
Don’t let advanced math scare you. It’s easy as pi.
I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app and now my battery keeps draining.
Call us for a quote
TODAY!
Out ‘n About at the Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport for the Big Brothers
Big Sisters of Mid-Maine plane pull
HATS
MUGS
EMBROIDERY
SCREENPRINTING
Reunions
Summer
Camps
Road Races
Charity 5Ks
PENS
BAGS
WEAR
Contractors &
Landscapers
Work Wear
205 Washington St.
South, Auburn
207-784-4184
coastaltshirts.com
PEOPLE LOVE MAGAZINES.
of all media, which do US internet users say they
TRUST THE MOST?
PRINT.
(Marketing Sherpa, 2020)
Jimmy Avery & Payne
I always feel a bit validated when the computer doesn’t work in front of the
computer repair person also.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
31
BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Richard Moylan
(207) 777-0050
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn
richardmoylan@allstate.com
Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
qualifications and availability. Allstate Property
and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire and
Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois
© 2010 Allstate Insurance Company
207-333-5022
kaytdavispt@gmail.com
Therapy in the home.
Most insurances accepted.
207.577.6484
528 Lincoln Street
Lewiston
207-782-7141
Pooper Scooping Services
We scoop so you don’t have to!
Accepting Weekly
& Biweekly Clients
207-713-1550
LISBON
FALLS
OPEN FOR BUSINESS
During Road Construction
The Sausage Kitchen
36 Main Street, Lisbon Falls
207-353-5503
Open for business
Thurs-Sat: 9-5 • Sun 8-2
ROGERS
INSURANCE
38 Main Street
Lisbon Falls, ME
207-353-6834
Open During
Road Work
If you are a Lisbon business
still open during the road
construction - let our more
than 20,000 readers know!
Call Steve Simard at
207-754-1815 today!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
32 June 2022 783-7039
Would you trust a dentist with false teeth?
Make your
reservation
now!
The older I get, the tighter companies are putting the lids on jars.
A place the whole family will LOVE!
LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
PULL!
40 East Avenue, Lewiston • 207-795-6888 • www.sea40me.com
Liam Benson
Out ‘n About at WIGY Radio after the For the Love of Pets Radiothon
Work was so
much funner when
we had fur friends
visiting all day!
WIGY
Breakfast Club
Co-host
Sara Poulin
Tina Andrews,
Korie LaChance,
& Josh Bouvier
Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our 2022 specials!
Roy’s
Beanie
Chicken Salad, Best in Town & Ham Salad
Babies
Come in and check out our daily specials!
on Sale
Hamburger • Steaks • Chicken • Pork
Here!
Try our hamburg,
it’s the best!
FOODLAND
I don’t
find airplane
jokes that funny. I
actually find them
quite Boeing.
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/rolls &
cole slaw
$9.99
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie, Salami,
or Pepperoni Italians
$2.69
PIZZA PACKS
Pizza
Packs
$11.99
70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471
www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed
Mark Breton &
Sophie Piconi
It is raining cats and dogs today. I nearly stepped on a poodle.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
33
Whenever I think about getting a lottery ticket, I think about my ex and
I remember that I don’t know how to pick winners.
EDUCATION
Train online to do medical billing! Become a Medical Office Professional
at CTI! Get trained & certified to work in months! 888-572-
6790. The Mission, Program Information and Tuition is located at
CareerTechnical.edu/consumer-information. (M-F 8-6 ET)
HEALTH & FITNESS
VIAGRA and CIALIS USERS! 50 Generic Pills SPECIAL $99.00. 100%
guaranteed. 24/7 CALL NOW! 888-445-5928 Hablamos Español
Dental insurance - Physicians Mutual Insurance Company. Covers
350 procedures. Real insurance - not a discount plan. Get your free
dental info kit! 1-855-526-1060 www.dental50plus.com/ads #6258
Attention oxygen therapy users! Inogen One G4 is capable of full
24/7 oxygen delivery. Only 2.8 pounds. Free info kit.
Call 877-929-9587
MISCELLANEOUS
Prepare for power outages today with a GENERAC home standby
generator $0 Down + Low Monthly Pmt Request a free Quote. Call
before the next power outage: 1-855-948-6176
Eliminate gutter cleaning forever! LeafFilter, the most advanced
debris-blocking gutter protection. Schedule free LeafFilter estimate
today. 15% off Entire Purchase. 10% Senior & Military Discounts.
Call 1-833-610-1936
AT&T Internet. Starting at $40/month w/12-mo agmt. 1 TB of data/
mo. Ask how to bundle & SAVE! Geo & svc restrictions apply.
1-855-364-3948
BATH & SHOWER UPDATES in as little as ONE DAY! Affordable
prices - No payments for 18 months! Lifetime warranty & professional
installs. Senior & Military Discounts available.
Call: 855-761-1725
Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our Veterans.
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Call 1-800-245-0398
HughesNet - Finally, super-fast internet no matter where you live.
25 Mbps just $59.99/mo! Unlimited Data is Here. Stream Video.
Bundle TV & Internet. Free Installation. Call 866-499-0141
Looking for assisted living, memory care, or independent living? A
Place for Mom simplifies the process of finding senior living at no
cost to your family. Call 1-844-428-0445 today!
Become a published author. We want to read your book! Dorrance
Publishing trusted since 1920. Consultation, production, promotion
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visit dorranceinfo.com/ads
Paying top cash for men’s sportwatches! Rolex, Breitling, Omega,
Patek Philippe, Heuer, Daytona, GMT, Submariner and Speedmaster.
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Put on your TV Ears & hear TV w/unmatched clarity. TV Ears
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w/code MCB59! 1-888-805-0840
Aloe Care Health medical alert system. Most advanced medical
alert product on the market. Voice-activated! No wi-fi needed!
Special offer w/code CARE20 for $20 off Mobile Companion.
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Hero takes stress out of managing medications. Hero sorts &
dispenses meds, sends alerts at dose times & handles prescription
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90-day risk-free trial! 1-855-993-3217
DISH TV $64.99 For 190 Channels + $14.95 High Speed Internet.
Free Installation, Smart HD DVR Included, Free Voice Remote.
Some restrictions apply. Promo Expires 1/21/23. 1-866-479-1516
The Generac PWRcell solar plus battery storage system. Save
money, reduce reliance on grid, prepare for outages & power your
home. Full installation services. $0 down financing option. Request
free no obligation quote. 1-877-539-0299
Vivint Smart security. Professionally installed. 1 connected system
for total peace of mind. Free professional installation! 4 free months
of monitoring! Call to customize your system. 1-833-841-0737
WANTED TO BUY
Wants to purchase minerals and other oil and gas interests. Send
details to P.O. Box 13557 Denver, CO 80201
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
34 June 2022 783-7039
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
My doctor told me my sugar was too high. So I went home and put it on a lower shelf.
Time to take a break from
all the digital noise?
Contact
Us Today!
The more familiar buyers are with YOUR brand,
he Survey says...
Readers who frequently
o frequently purchase products or or
m ads seen in Uncle Andy’s Digest:
services from ads seen in
Uncle Andy’s Digest*
Our readership study results*
80.8%
The average person is estimated to encounter
READERS PER
MONTH*
22,000 Monthly Readers
22,000
6,000–10,000 digital ads every single day!
Websites are often skimmed in as little as 15 seconds per visit.
When a customer or prospect reads a printed material, they
are more engaged for a longer period of time. On average,
a consumer spends 43 minutes reading a magazine.
Print advertising offers greater recall, strong
branding, and a highly engaged audience.
the more likely they will do business with you.
48% 52%
*Give us a call to see our full audit and
learn more about how Uncle Andy’s Digest
should be part of your marketing plan.
The Certification Verification
Council (CVC) audit
of our magazine*, shows
we have a pick-up rate of
98%
Out ‘n About at the
Auburn-Lewiston
Municipal Airport
for the Big Brothers Big Sisters
of Mid-Maine plane pull
What
do we want?!
Keith Davis
Low
flying airplane
noises!
Haley Stearns
When
do we want
it?
Henry Morjikian
Average Age
Average Median Household Income
Neeoooow!
25-64
9 Grove Street Auburn • 783-7039 • UncleAndys.com
ollege Educated
What is Your annual household income?
$35-49,999
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other 18% person says, “Whatever.”
$50-74,999
$76,250
27%
29.4%
Sam
Bonnevie
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
35
Out ‘n About at
WIGY Radio
at the For The Love of Pets
Radiothon
With the
help of donors
and sponsors we
were able to raise
$7,134 for homeless,
needy, and injured
animals at the Greater
Androscoggin Humane
Society (GAHS)! Plus, I
got to spend my whole
day with my best furry
friends! Boba here made
the very first donation
of the day – his mom
just had to drive
and pay!
Happy to
spend her money for
a good cause!
*Mark Turcotte &
Boba
*WIGY Breakfast Club
Co-host
We all
know that I’m
Boba’s staff, and
not his mom. But he’s
right, this is a great
cause and we were
thrilled to
support!!
My wife got mad and threw a can of soda at my head. Thank God it was a soft drink.
Saturday, August 13 th
1:00 - 9:00pm
OUTSIDE, NEXT TO MAC’S GRILL
1052 Minot Ave. Auburn
Fun for
Everyone!
• Kid’s Zone w/ 95' Inflatable
Obstacle Course
• HUGE Silent Auction
• Dunk Tank
• Face Painting
• Mr. Drew & His Animals Too
• Great Food
• Beer Garden & Full Bar
• 50/50
A great
Community
Event!
Alternative Sprinkler
Fire Protection
UNCLE AND
pres
Food, Fun, & M
hoste
OUR AMAZING
Tyla Davis
& Boba
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
36 June 2022 783-7039
My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries, so I had to use my acoustic toothbrush.
When bees move to a new hive do they have a house swarming party?
Wild Week
Submitted by Steve Simard
Y’S DIGEST
ents
usic to Benefit
d by
SPONSORS!
3
BANDS!
1:00-3:00pm:
Continental Shakedown
3:00-5:00pm:
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6:00-9:00pm: Fire in the Hole
Because of YOU
we’ve been able to raise over
$445,000 and grant 63 wishes to local
kids facing critical illnesses. Help
us make our 8th Annual event
the best yet!
A Summer Event You
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LASummerBlockParty.com
Community Sponsors:
Bancroft Contracting
Fortin Funeral Homes
Champoux Insurance
Media Partners:
Two priests recently
passed away and were
on their way to heaven.
When they got to
the pearly gates, St.
Peter said, “I’m sorry,
but our computer is
down and you can’t
come in for a week. So
I am going to give you
both one “free” week
back on earth to do
anything you want to
do and nothing will be
held against you.”
“You mean we can do
whatever we want, and
still get into heaven?”
“Yes,” said St. Peter.
“Okay,” said the first
priest, “I want to soar
over the mountains like
an eagle.”
“That’s easy enough,”
said St. Peter. “Off you
go!”
The second priest
asked, “Are you sure
that whatever I do will
not hinder my chances
of getting into heaven?”
“That’s right,” said St.
Peter.
“Okay,” said the second
priest, “I want to
go back as a stud.”
“A stud?” asked St.
Peter.
“Yes,” said the second
priest.
Continued on next page
Both my psychic and clairvoyant were in bad moods this week.
I just want to find a happy medium.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
37
Continued from previous page
“Okay, I’ll see you in a
week.”
Finally, the week ended
and the computer
was repaired. God
asked to St. Peter, “Did
you get the two priests
back so they can join
us here?”
“Well,” said St. Peter.
“I got the first priest
back; he was soaring
over the Rocky Mountains
like an eagle.
I’m having a bit of a
problem locating the
second priest; he’s
somewhere in Maine
on a snow tire.”
Pretzels
Submitted by Thomas Hill
A guy walks into a
bar and takes a seat.
Before he can order
a beer, the bowl of
pretzels in front of him
says, “Hey, you’re a
handsome fellow.”
I won a gold medal at the weather forecasting tournament today.
I beat the raining champion.
JOIN A TEAM THAT VALUES ITS MEMBERS!
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° health insurance
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I went to a vegan restaurant once. Oh wait, I mean a florist.
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The man tries to ignore
the bowl of pretzels,
and orders a fine Pilsner
beer.
The bowl of pretzels
then says, “Ooooh, a
pilsner, great choice.
You’re a smart man.”
Starting to freak out,
the guy says to the
bartender, “Hey what
the hell, this bowl of
pretzels keeps saying
nice things to me!”
The bartender replies,
“Don’t worry about it,
the pretzels are
complimentary.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
38
Jimbo
June 2022 783-7039
We’re Hiring Delivery Drivers - we offer Aflac.
Please be patient with us as we are short-staffed
10 Memorial Street, Lisbon • 207-241-0270 • www.a1lausedappliance.com
Hours: Closed Sun, Mon, Tues; Wed-Sat 9:00am-5:00pm
I didn’t know how to spell “plagiarized” so I just copied and pasted it.
Does anyone know where I can buy fresh ice cubes? I’m sick of the frozen ones.
OXFORD HILLS FAVORITE
PIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP!
Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough Pizzas
Breakfast Sandwiches and More!
June Special
Three Ham Italians
ONLY $ 16plus tax
Out ‘n About at
WIGY Radio
at the For the Love of Pets
Radiothon
Voted one of Maine’s Best Pizza Places!
2016 WMTW Facebook Fan poll
POLLY’S VARIETY
115 King Street, Oxford
207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.com
Expires 6/30/22
Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm
Out ‘n About at the Auburn-Lewiston Municipal Airport for the Big
Brothers Big Sisters of Mid-Maine Plane Pull
Where
do the coffee
and donuts
live here? I was
told there’d be
snacks for
visitors!
Jonathan
Doughty & Luxor
Promising
snacks and not delivering?
That’s how
they get ya.
Henry Morjikian, Nick Brown, Jadyn Laplante, Hunter Klingensmith, & Olivia Joaquin
ENJOY YOUR SPACE THIS SUMMER!
We have everything you need to get the job done!
Mulches & Soils, Yard Cleanup Tools, and much more!
Mulligan
186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus • (207) 375-6253
Tyla constantly mistakes Star Wars for Star Trek. Such a Wookie mistake.
Josh Moody &
Gizmo
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
39
CALL THE PROS
SUMMER IS MADE FOR RELAXING
Massage is designed to help.
Office, Restaurant, & Light
Industrial Cleaning Services
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890
Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p
Call to
book your
personalized
treatment!
229 Center Street, Auburn
(207) 402-8654
www.lamassagemaine.com
6
REDEMPTION CENTER
¢
on all 5¢ returns
with this coupon.
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) UAD exp. 6.30.22
FULL COLOR COPIES & MORE!
Posters • Booklets • Carbonless forms
Envelopes • Business Cards & More!
SUMMER’S COMING - IS YOUR VEHICLE READY?
RON’S
TRANSMISSION
REPAIR SERVICE
Your Full Service Repair Facility
Summer Vehicle Maintenance
Checks Done Here
Tires, brakes, battery, engine oil and
other fluids, wiper blades, & belts/hoses
Ron Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales 375-4924
WEBSITES THAT WORK
Design. Build. Brand. Market.
OFFERING
Residential
Commercial
Clean Outs
Roll Offs
60 Broad Street, Auburn
207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com
Call Today for a Free Quote!
844-ME-TRASH
844-638-7274
The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!
SERVING
Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland
Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples
9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com
www.MaineWeb.co
Unlimited Wash Combos
Combo #2
24 .95
$
24 per
Combo #3
includes:
.95
month
.95
$ 29 .95
per month
exterior wash,
underbody, &
poly sealant
includes: exterior
wash, underbody,
rust inhibitor, wheel
brite, tire shine, &
wax
7 Lincoln St. Lewiston
207.782.4009 • YvonsCarWash.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
40 June 2022 783-7039
Being a good I went parent to a very is knowing emotional how wedding. to unwrap Even a Kit the Kat cake without was making tiers. any noise.
CALL THE PROS
LET’S TALK DELISH
Have you tried our Cheeseburger Pizza yet?
It has a ketchup and mustard base, provolone
cheese, pickles, onions, and hamburger
It’s beyond delicious!!
85 Center Street, Auburn
207-784-8221 • 11a-9p daily
Serving great food since 1985
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION
CENTER
The friendly redemption center
MAKING SENSE OF
TECHNOLOGY
• New device setup and lessons
• Network support & maintenance
• Device repairs
AND MORE!
Angela’s Computer
& Electronic Services
207-520-9573 • angelascms.com
8 Tidswell Road
Medicare counseling • Caregiver support
Turner
Educational programming • Meals on Wheels
207-225-2008
Closed July 4th seniorsplus.org • 1-800-427-1241
Open daily 8am to 4pm
Your trusted,
nonprofit resource
for assistance
and information
FARRELL ENTERPRISES
BUILDINGS AND PROPERTIES CLEANED
We get down & dirty so
you don’t have to!
Nearly Anything Removed
Trash • Metals • Demolition & More!
Fully Insured
Michael Farrell
207-576-2501
SCUBA
CLASSES!
Offering both private
& small group lessons
Make your own schedule!
805 Main Street, Lewiston
784-7300
skindiversparadise.net
Call
for your
FREE QUOTE
Today!
Your Vision.
Our Expertise.
Kitchens, Baths,
Decks & More!
207-212-7791
www.vghomeimprovements.com
FINE LINE GUN SHOP
Guns • Ammo • Supplies
Check out
our Facebook
page for our
finelinegun@aol.com
newest
inventory!
207-998-2374
Ralph & Mary Sleeper
590 Plains Road, Poland
Did you hear the Fleetwood Mac is releasing all their old albums again?
It maybe only Rumours though!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
June 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
41
CALL THE PROS
We continue
to grow due
to excellent
customers
and their
referrals.
Sincere
Thanks to all.
207-784-9356
Lincoln Street
RADIATOR SHOP
Family owned & operated since 1967
DON’T WAIT!
CHECK YOUR COOLING
SYSTEM NOW!
Our pros will have your
vehicle ready for the heat &
humidity that’s coming!
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p
FREE 15 Minute Consult!
814-933-9149
Merry Matukonis, RN, NRT
Applied Clinical Nutritionist
18 years of clinical experience
Less Pain • More Energy • Better Quality Sleep
Improved Mood • Healthy Digestion
GUARANTEED!
168 W. Auburn Road, Auburn www.optwell.biz
Serving those who serve
SERVING our THOSE community
WHO SERVE OUR COMMUNITY
Andy Valley
Insurance & Retirement
Andy Valley Insurance & Retirement
(207) 783-3660
https://agents.horacemann.com/AVIR Auto | Home | Life | Retirement
AM-C04353 (Sep. 21)
horacemann.com
909 Minot Ave, Auburn | 207-783-3660 | https://agents.horacemann.com/AVIR
Out ‘n About at WIGY Radio after the For the Love of Pets Radiothon
Not only has
my family adopted
a pet from GAHS,
I also volunteer
there!
Cameron
Goldrup
Did you know
that in addition to adopting
a pet, GAHS has a whole host of
service surrounding education,
community outreach, and
animal wellness?
Heidi Adams*
& Stitchy
*WOXO radio host
GAHS works very
diligently to make sure that our
furrever homes are a good fit!
They learn about our personalities, our
temperaments, and our habits to match us
with the perfect family! Go to their
website at www.gahumane.org
to see if your family is a
match for me!
Copper
Fostering a pet
is a very rewarding
experience. Visit GAHS
to find out more!
Rachel
Gendron
& Cosmo
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
42 June 2022 783-7039
I just installed a telepathically-controlled air freshener in my home.
It makes scents when you think about it.
The internet connection was terrible on my farm. I moved my modem into the barn and now I have stable WiFi.
SILVERBACK
DIRT
Save Money
Reclaiming Product
Excavation Services/Dirt Work
No Job Too Small!
DEP Certified near waterways • Fully insured
Reuse Existing Material
Work in Narrow Areas
Road Grading
Road & Driveway
Grading
Roger Dargie
207-754-2703
dargie2013@gmail.com
Six Locations,
Wholesale &
Redemption
BEER. WINE. SPIRITS
AUBURN
301 Main Street, Auburn | 783.9098
545 Minot Ave, Auburn | 783.2047
3 0 Y e a r
Anniversary
LEWISTON
794 Sabattus Street, Lewiston | 783.6353
686 Main Street, Lewiston | 344.1200
1420 Lisbon Street, Lewiston | 333.3095
OXFORD
980 Main Street, Oxford |539.6072
RoopersBeverage.com
The PARTY starts with ROOPERS
When people tell me, “You’re gonna regret that in the morning,” I sleep in until noon. I’m a problem solver.
YOUR VEHICLE WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT!
Pricing
RUST PROTECTION
Heavy duty pickup ...... $159.95
Full size van .......... $159.95
Plus applicable taxes
2 door pickup . ......... $149.95
X-large SUV . .......... $159.95
3 & 4 door pickup ....... $159.95
Any car .............. $139.95
Mini van ............. $149.95
Sm., Med., or Lg. SUV ... $149.95
23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • theshopclassicrestorations.com • 207-353-6100
Ready for Summer Fun?!
Schedule your pool service today!
Monday - Friday: 9a-5p, Saturday: 9a-4p
1975 Lisbon St., Rte. 196, Lewiston
783-0858 • www.abcpool.com
Ask us about our
eco-friendly line!
Make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.
Low
Chlorine!
RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family
We are stronger together
It’s NEVER too late to
rustproof your vehicle!
the ULTIMATE in RUST PROTECTION
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
Debbie Bodwell
NMLS# 280336
Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net
181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210
207.754.3962
I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org)
Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.
44 June 2022 783-7039 UncleAndysDigest.com