V20 N45

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Page 18 EXIT ZERO December 15, 2022
Year’s Eve-Eve (December 30,
if you’re bad with calendars)
with Jerry Kolber, Goose to my
Maverick, because I clearly look
much more like Tom Cruise than
he does. I’m finishing up my first
year with Jerry, the sole survivor
of the four partners I began the
year with, like Squid Game if I was
the squid and had any idea what
that show was about because I
never watched it but this analogy
seems apt based on what I’ve
gleaned from the internet. I’ll
gush more in my end-of-the-year
column, but Jerry is a top-flight
musical partner and even better
dude. My part-time female vocalist
could learn a lot from him.
After that, my next open-tothe-public
gig isn’t until February
4 at Mudhen in Wildwood. I’m
telling you now because Exit Zero
goes on hiatus after December 29
and returns February 9.
My homies at WCFA 101.5
outdid themselves this week
for the Terry O’Brien Delivery
Block. At the stroke of 7am I was
slapped in the face in the best way
possible with REM’s “Wolves,
Lower,” an all-time alternative
banger that no one’s ever heard.
A few hours later it was “Tongue
Like a Knife” from Squeeze’s sublime
Play album. I’m telling you,
line up Play on your YouTube or
Spotify or whatever you have and
settle in for an hour of incredible
music. Warning: You WILL
get horny. But more than that, I
was stunned and amazed by the
volume and quality of incredible
New Wave-era Christmas songs
that filled the remaining three
hours and 50 minutes. I couldn’t
name two of them if you put a
gun to my head, but they were
uniformly awesome.
As I dropped off magazines
at the MVC in North Cape May
Thursday morning, I was met not
with the usual stern-faced security
guards keeping the building
safe from people who haven’t
memorized their VINs, but rather
with the smiling visage of Eddie
Castegnetta. And really, aside
from my wife waking me up with
a smooch and an “I love you”,
there are very few other ways I’d
rather greet a Thursday morning.
(Eddie hosts a fantastic oldies
show on WCFA and is just as nice
in-person as he sounds on the
radio. Mary Ann is a lucky lady.)
Cape Harbor Shell’s restroom
was spotless, as usual, around
8am Thursday morning, but the
door is getting a little sticky, I
really had to pull to shut it. Let’s
work on that for next week, shall
we? (Also, Andrew Fiocca, I call
lots of people “big fella” when I
can’t think of anything clever to
say. You look fantastic.)
Dallas Cowboys LB (short for
linebacker for all you non-sports
nerds) Micah Parsons recently
expressed a normal, unvarnished
thought on Twitter, for which
he was excoriated by the Woke
Mob for not exercising perfect
GroupThink. As an American,
this troubles me greatly. As an
Eagles fan, I say DRAG HIM!
Thanks to the wonders of
technology, I was able to audition
for and be rejected by The Voice
within minutes instead of driving
two hours to Philly, waiting in a
room for six hours, THEN being
rejected by The Voice followed by
the drive home. It’s tough being
an unrecognized vocal genius.
Employee Christmas Party of
the Week: We’re meeting at self
checkout aisle 7 at the Acme on
Christmas Eve at 9. Can’t wait to
see who my Secret Santa is.
I watched Amsterdam on HBO.
I’m still trying to figure out if it
was any good, but, being a David
O. Russell film, it was never boring.
Denzel Washington’s son is
really growing on me. (He and
Robert Pattinson were a great
onscreen duo in the otherwise
indecipherable TENET.)
That’s all for this week. Next
week I’ll down half a bottle of Jack
Daniels before I write and, while
the column may not be much better,
at least I won’t remember it.
’Til next week, don’t get
caught in The Undertow.