June 2023 Edition

By: Gayla Kalp / Life is Laughter
How many of these Baker’s Dozen words of
wisdom apply to you?:
1. As I have grown older, I’ve learned that
pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing
everyone off is a piece of cake.
2. As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is
I’m just being more energy efficient.
3. It’s not my age that bothers me, it’s the side effects.
4. I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m
nowhere near the curb on trash day.
5. There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is, once
you get old you stop being polite and start being honest.
6. He says I keep pushing his buttons. If that were true, I would have
found “Mute” by now.
7. God promised women that good and faithful husbands would be
found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round……
and laughed and laughed and laughed.
8. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the
most never use it.
9. I haven’t gotten anything done today. I’ve been in the Produce
Department trying to open the stupid plastic bag.
10. Apparently, RSVPing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time”
isn’t the correct response.
11. Turns out that being a “Senior” is mostly just googling how to
do stuff.
12. Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to
see if you’re still an idiot.
And finally: As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history,
one thing I’m sure of - it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
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Aging Wisdom
Gayla is a speaker, author, psychologist and humorist. She also
happens to be Ms. Sr. California, Nevada and Universe England.
Bad Grandma Video
Sharyn Younger shares the video screen with “Bad Grandma”
Debi Silverstein. Their hilarious segment is on our Vegas Voice YouTube
channel as well as on our website: VegasVoiceTV.net.
June 2023
Fireflies & Worms
By: Adrea Nairne-Barrera / Senior Moments
If you were a city girl, chances were that either
your family or a friend’s family had a country
house for the summers. And, if you were lucky,
your Mom and Dad knew all the fun things to do outdoors since there
was a no TV back there.
Our country house had a screened-in porch with two rockers and
Daddy would sit out there and read every afternoon. Of course, we went
to the small store at the end of the road for treats and the paper each
morning too. You could listen to the rustling leaves and enjoy the light
breezes coming through the screens.
I created my own world on the side of the house between two fully
grown pine trees. I could crawl in and pretend it was a cave, sit in pine
needles and play with pinecones.
Sometimes I brought my dolls out there for a party. I even had a
little tin swimming pool and all the neighbors’ kids were naked.
We also found a duckling on the road who had been separated from
the mother so we took her in and raised her in the bathtub until she
was old enough to go to a friend’s farm. They had white swans so
imagine our surprise when she developed and it turned out she was
a he with the most beautiful feathers we ever saw! He went on to rule
that farm.
We had a brook behind the property and you could fish there too.
My mother was a real country girl when we were there.
She could make a fishing line and hook, dig out worms and climb
trees to throw out the line.
Back then I didn’t mind worms.
But the best evenings were taking empty jars down a dark road and
catching fireflies. We would run and run until the jar was full and
bring them back to light up the porch.
Childhood summers were innocent and years later I went back
and my pine trees were gone. But memories of fireflies, worms and
tranquility stay with me.
Adrea likes to opine and find the lighter side of life as a senior.