June 2023 Edition

Congratulations! What Comes After The Party?
By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
It’s graduation time, and I know all of you in
the Class of 2023 have eagerly awaited the
moment when you are thrust into the world on
your own, ready to tackle your dreams, excited to
take on the responsibility of making your
own way, making your own choices, making
your own mistakes, making your own bed...
or not...it’s up to you!
And, let me tell you, it’s a blast out here!
Now, unless you’ve already gotten a job
in your chosen field (snicker) you’ll be
heading home to Mom and Dad’s for a while
as you send out resumes and “weigh all
your options.” Of course, all that “making
your own choices” stuff mostly won’t fly if
you’re living at home.
Remember the old “my house, my rules” thing? Well, you may be 21,
but when you’re home, you still belong to them.
(In fact when you’re 35 and visit M&D with your own grown-up
family...still their rules! Obviously, when they visit your own grownup
house, you can tell them YOUR rules…which they’ll laugh at and
disregard because...well, “because they said so”).
After you take a few weeks off to relax, see old high school friends
and hang out at the old hangouts; and after you send out scores of
resumes (and hear more “NO”s than you’ve heard since you tried to
get to second base with Mary Elizabeth Schumick in junior high); and
after your mother stops crying because “my baby’s home!” and starts
approaching the laundry room the way
Marines approach an ISIS cave; and after
your Dad stops grinning and smacking you
on the back whenever he passes and begins
leaving the Classifieds in your bathroom
sink...at that point, you’ll want to check into
some “temporary” (snicker again) local
employment.
Your secret inclination might be to get
the old band back together. As a college
graduate, you’d be in much higher demand
at high school dances than you were in 10th grade!
The problem is that, invariably, someone, (like the lead singer) won’t
be available due to having gotten a job at Home Depot, plus he’s getting
married and his fiancée won’t let him. You could try to substitute your
great-uncle Earl, who’s 78, but once sang with The Manhattan Transfer,
and wants to get back into the business…not a good idea on SO many
levels.
So, although you planned to work for a multi-national company
in New York, followed by a reassignment to their office in London or
Rome...well, Pizza Hut’s not so bad, with tips, and all the pizza you can
eat, plus you get to put that little Pizza Hut sign that lights up on top
of your car. Sweet!
Or, if you’re female - not that a young lady wouldn’t work at Pizza
Hut, which certainly has its share of talented female college graduates
- you could also look into being a nanny, especially if you start in the
summer. Take a couple of weeks off first, just long enough to give young
parents a chance to experience the reality of having little children at
home all day.
By around June 20, those mothers will be offering you more money
than any multi-national company on earth. They’ll give you a car in
which to schlep their little ones, they’ll stock the fridge with all your
favorite foods, and they’ll give you their pass to the country club pool.
Shoot, if you can hold out until the end of June, you might score grad
school tuition!
After you land this good local job, you’re just a hop-skip-and-a-jump
from getting your own place - which should be way across town from
your parents, for obvious reasons. And, because you’ll need the deposit
and first-month’s rent, you simply have the old band over to practice at
your parents’ house four or five days a week, and abracadabra: they’ll
take care of everything!
So, hey, congrats again, and uh...well, good luck out here!...(snicker
#3).
36
June 2023
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com.