June 2023 Edition

Tackling the Refrigerator
By: Susan Goldfein / Susan’s Unfiltered Wit
Note: The title above doesn’t refer to William
Perry, the very large Chicago Bears defensive
tackle who was nicknamed the “Refrigerator.” I
don’t even know why I recall this piece of sports trivia. I’m not even a
football fan.
The refrigerator I’m
referring to is an actual
refrigerator that occupies
25 cubic feet of space in my
kitchen. It’s not new, but an
appliance we inherited from
the prior owner of the condo
in which we now live.
It’s in fine working
order. Except for one small
detail. An external piece of
plastic that won’t stay in its
intended place!
Are you familiar with the
base grill? You might know
it as the toe kick plate. Or
more likely, you don’t know it at all.
It’s one of those things that simply goes unnoticed because it resides
where the refrigerator meets the floor. You don’t see it unless you have
a seat at the breakfast table which affords a bird’s eye view of the toe
kick laying on its side, revealing all the horrors it has heretofore been
concealing.
Its mechanical purpose
is to allow airflow to cool
the condenser. But of more
significance to a domestic
goddess, it’s the part that
hides all the dust, missing
objects and deceased wildlife
that have found their way
under the refrigerator never
to be seen again. Unless the
toe kick falls.
I’m a proud do-it-yourself
person who dabbles in
fixing toilet bowl flappers,
assembling Ikea furniture
with no leftover parts, and
performing successful
operations on resistant
bottle caps. So, it’s no wonder one morning, about a week ago, on a
caffeine high and tired of staring at the dust, I decided it was time to
tackle the toe kick!
That was a month ago. Yet, this morning I’m still sitting at my table
staring at the repulsive mess behind the fallen toe kick.
So, why has the repair queen been procrastinating? Fellow
octogenarians – when was the last time you voluntarily lowered
yourselves to the floor with no idea as to how you were going to stand
again without summoning EMS?
What comes to mind in the current situation is the phrase “reality
bites.” It’s those moments “when the harsh pains and experiences of
life jolt you out of your fantasy.”
Unfortunately, at this age “harsh pains and experiences” aren’t mere
metaphors.
So, having experienced the harsh pains of lowering and raising stiff
joints to the floor and back, why am I even contemplating fixing that
damn toe kick? The answer is clear. It’s hard to admit that you can no
longer do what used to be easy to accomplish.
And that you should have the phone number of a handyman on
speed dial. But common sense doesn’t always prevail, and today might
be when I throw caution to the wind and tackle the refrigerator.
So please don’t be alarmed if you see the neighborhood fire truck
parked outside my building. The humiliation of being hoisted from
the floor may very well be offset by yet another successful DIY repair!
30
June 2023
Susan Goldfein’s newest book, Laughing My Way Through the
Third Stage, is available at Amazon.com, BN.com, Read her blog
at: www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com. Email Susan: SusanGoldfein@
aol.com.