Uncle Andy's Digest - December 2023
The temperature has dropped, along with the December 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. Shop local this holiday season! Check out our advertisers for gift giving ideas. As always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
The temperature has dropped, along with the December 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. Shop local this holiday season! Check out our advertisers for gift giving ideas. As always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
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Alexa take down the Christmas lights… She never listens.<br />
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!<br />
NOW AVAILABLE - ONLINE ORDERING<br />
We take this time to thank our<br />
customers for your patronage<br />
throughout the year. Our best<br />
wishes for a Merry Christmas<br />
and Happy New Year!<br />
&<br />
Breakfast served all day<br />
Order Your<br />
Holiday Platters Early!<br />
87 Mill Street, New Auburn<br />
207-753-0171<br />
rollysnewauburn.com<br />
Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday<br />
Santa's little helpers learn the elf-abet in school.<br />
Loud Prayers<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
Just before Christmas,<br />
two brothers were<br />
spending the night at<br />
their Grandma’s house.<br />
At bed time, they knelt<br />
down to say their<br />
prayers.<br />
As they closed their<br />
eyes, one boy said in a<br />
loud voice, “Dear Lord,<br />
please ask Santa Claus<br />
to bring me a Playstation<br />
5, a telescope and<br />
a new bike.”<br />
His older brother said,<br />
“Why are you shouting?<br />
God isn’t deaf.”<br />
“I know,” said his brother,<br />
“but Grandma is.”<br />
Reindeer<br />
Games<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
According to the<br />
Alaska Department of<br />
Fish and Game, while<br />
both male and female<br />
reindeer grow antlers in<br />
the summer each year,<br />
male reindeer drop their<br />
antlers at the beginning<br />
of winter, usually late<br />
November to mid-<strong>December</strong>.<br />
Female reindeer retain<br />
their antlers till after<br />
they give birth in the<br />
spring. Therefore,<br />
according to EVERY<br />
historical rendition depicting<br />
Santa’s reindeer,<br />
EVERY single one of<br />
them, from Rudolph to<br />
Blitzen, had to be a girl.<br />
We should have<br />
known... ONLY women<br />
would be able to drag a<br />
fat man in a red velvet<br />
suit all around the world<br />
in one night and not get<br />
lost.<br />
I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13
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