Season III - Get a Free Blog

Donations will be taken and will be given to the VRNBT (Vibrators are not bathtub
toys) charity.
(Cause of death: 1/3. She didn't really mention how it happened. Edit: yes she did, at
the end, which I'd forgotten. So...3/3. Nice. Life story: 3/3. Seriously, I laughed my
ass off through this one too. My favorite bits were plentiful, but if I have to choose one:
Often working until the wee hours of the morning, she boasted many satisfied customers
in the community and from far away.) 6 points
Todd Karner, Quilted Northerns
Todd Christian Karner
April 15th 1977-July 8th 2007
Todd Christian Karner died in a fire at a local Minneapolis comedy club on July 8th
2007. Todd had been a staple of poor theatre performances and botched dates for years
in the Twin Cities area. He graduatted from colledge at Minesota state Univarsity at
mankato where he magored in theatre and minored in speling and grammer: After
college Todd moved to Ireland where he lived for a year before he was forced out of the
country for being too big of a drunk. He died Sunday night while performing at
Grumpy's Comedy Club in front of a large crowd including five of his closest friends.
He had a very good last set. His friends were thoroughly enjoying it when they realized
they were laughing at jokes being told by Todd Karner. They then poured their
alcoholic beverages over themselves and lit themselves on fire. Everyone else escaped
from the club unharmed, with the exception of Todd. He realized he had upset the
natural order of things by being funny and decided to give his friends one last big fiery
hug. He is survived by his parents Tom and Kandie, and his brothers Mathew and Marc.
Who only kind of liked him.
(Cause of death: 3/3. The term "die in a fire" is one I find funny. It's an inside joke that
works on me. However, it's the self-deprecation of everyone else setting themselves on
fire and only Todd dying that makes it perfect. Life story: 2/3. It's short and not as
sharp as the stuff about the death, but I do like it. My favorite bit: Todd had been a
staple of poor theatre performances and botched dates for years in the Twin Cities
area. Also, I didn't know Marc's name was spelled that way. But this is Todd, so
maybe it isn't.) 5 points
Robert Arlt, Brown Street Elite
Robert Edwin Arlt, born 1983, is dead. Always a control freak his last hours of his 56
years under the sun were spent scratching his dying words to be used in this notice,
claiming he didn't want some sappy relative coming up with a bunch of bull$!%. A man
of reticence and quiet manipulation, he managed to estrange his entire family by the
end of his life except his beloved pit-bull, Bo-Peep, who didn't care about his antics so
long as he was fed holistic, organic dog food. The only bump in their relationship came
when Robert, a well known penny pincher decided he'd get the cheap generic brand at
his local Wal-Mart to see if he could fool Bo-Peep. After feeding Bo-Peep, he was
watching Dateline when he saw the report of deadly dog food from China and became
sicker than the dog, the only thing making him feel better was finding out China's
minister of Health would be put to death for it. Sadly it appears Bo-Peep, at the ancient
age of 19 couldn't hear his masters calls for help when Robert had fallen and broken his