Season III - Get a Free Blog

While my opinion holds no bearing in the matter and I will quite possibly be terminated
for my comment, I would just like to say way to go you stupid fucking rabbit.
Nick was loved by many and hated by more. He was survived by his Chinese, or maybe
it's Japanese (who can really tell anyway?) wife Katy and there two pet Boa's Fuffs and
Snowball, and a few more whom aren't worth mentioning.
Services will be held in the area behind the Lucky Lanes bowling alley in Winnebago,
Minnesota. Reverend Blaine Urban (aka Birdman) will be officiating.
Nick will be remembered for a couple of minutes.
(Cause of death: 3/3. Using an obscure kids' board game was unexpected and
hilarious, especially going so in depth with it. Life story: 2/3. There isn't much here,
but the line about Katy (don't worry, people, she's legitimately his Korean fiancé and is
in on that off-color joke) is pretty funny. Plus, listing that he's survived by other
relatives not worth mentioning when I'm the scorer is a good gag. I laughed
throughout, but my favorite's this innocent-sounding line: Services will be held in the
area behind the Lucky Lanes bowling alley in Winnebago, Minnesota.) 5 points
Tanya Laumann, Quilted Northerns
It comes as no surprise that Tanya Laumann (April 1st 1980-July 7th 2007) met her
masterful maker merely making others marvelously happy. At precisely nine o clock
Saturday morning Tanya plummeted painfully to her death in a dazzling display of
dizzying nonsense, when she deflated face up backwards on the treacherous lifetime
fitness treadmill. Witness's at the scene said the stunt was truly splendid, her flatulent
act had been seen by none before, tooting and running is something some might
consider but none openly make a mockery of this taboo gym ritual. Tanya's stunt went
awry this Saturday July 7th at the Savage Lifetime Fitness health club when a faulty
motor caused a speed explosion quickly flying Tanya off the back of said treadmill. But
what killed her was her own gas. One spectator said this: "She fell on her ass, and all of
us held our noses the smell of sulfur was something fierce." Dr. Alex Doerffler told us
indeed it was the sulfur that ended Tanya's act eternally. Tanya 27 1/2 years old was
proudly survived by exhibitionist husband Christopher Laumann. "She lived a happy and
full life she often was said to help others "step up." Tanya would have wished for a
death like this, sudden and hil-fuckin-larious," said husband Chris.
She and husband Chris ran a non-profit children's theatre enterprise based on the work
"Everyone Poops" and "Everyone Farts." Memorials will be set up for scholarships to
"Laumann School of theatrical gas".
(Cause of death: 3/3. It's so vulgar and low-class, but using her own gas as the cause
of death when she was in an explosion is undeniably clever, however sick. Life story:
1/3. Not much to speak of. Too bad, because this is probably about my favorite cause
of death) 4 points
Brienne Zimmer, Quilted Northerns
Brienne Nicole Zimmer, 27, lost a courageous battle with a spatula in the ass, Monday.
The spatula was to be used to turn over some pancakes Sunday morning and found its
way into the dark brown cavern of her anal cavity upon placing the 3rd cake on the