Social Work with People Practicing Same-Sex ... - ILGA Europe

Sometimes the circumstances may take a dramatic turn — the family would not want
to accept a gay son. However, such response only aggravates the feeling of guilt and
estrangement. Further formation of the sexual identity depends on how the close ones
respond to the news that this person is bi- or homosexual. If the reaction turns out to
be generally negative, the person becomes more firmly convinced that it is dangerous
to confide in people of heterosexual orientation, while to count on them would be
mindless. If the reaction would appear to be generally positive and friendly, the
individual moves on to the next phase (Isay, 1996; Johnson, 1996).
Phase 6 — synthesis. At the final phase of the formation of homosexual identity,
an individual no more divides people into “us“ (bi- and homosexuals) and “others“
(heterosexuals). The individual does not accept other people anymore on the basis of
their sexual orientation. Not all heterosexuals appear to be “bad“, and all people with a
homosexual orientation are perceived positively. Aggression, characteristic of the fifth
phase decreases and the homosexual traits in one's identity fuse with other aspects of
self-perception. Now the process of sexual identity formation is complete.
It does not matter, if you love
men, women, or both. It matters
whether you are able to love and
bring someone happiness and joy.
Anita Naik, British writer,
journalist, psychologist
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