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Social Work with People Practicing Same-Sex ... - ILGA Europe

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34<br />

he is confronted <strong>with</strong> the problem of the absence of a model for such relationship. The<br />

model of homosexual partner relationship is reconstructed virtually anew every time.<br />

Meanwhile, the attempts to follow traditional heterosexual model by adopting a “male“<br />

and “female“ roles fail <strong>with</strong>out bringing about the desired effect of satisfaction <strong>with</strong><br />

the relationship. These attempts may be related rather to the social pressure and gender<br />

stereotypes embedded in one's conscience. At the same time, today in the framework<br />

of the traditional heterosexual models by far not always one would encounter a strict<br />

division of sexual roles between a passive, soft, caring only for children and home<br />

woman and active, leading and bread-winning man. In some cases, it goes the other way<br />

round, or else the roles overlap. For instance, in one interview for the media a member<br />

of LGBT organization has emphasized: “This is no secret that the traditional model of<br />

family relations today is not always functioning. It is enough to look at the divorce<br />

statistics. And there is no need to make homosexuals replicate this system — on the<br />

contrary, one can learn from us how to build non-stereotypical, flexible and personal<br />

models of relationships, where the place and role of each partner is defined not by the<br />

social prescriptions and a combination of stereotypes, but by the individual preferences<br />

and mutual agreement“.<br />

In building such relationships the partners may benefit from psychological support<br />

whereby the counsellor is helping the couple to work out individual mechanisms of<br />

cooperation in their intimate relationship that would meet the needs of this specific<br />

family/partnership. If the psychologist also has received training in sexology s/he may<br />

help partners in addressing the issues of sexual interaction for the culture of samesex<br />

relationships is not discussed openly many couples lack the basic information and<br />

sexual education in aspects related to same-sex relationships. Since recently, specialists<br />

working <strong>with</strong> homosexuals usually keep available special educational materials on<br />

sexology.<br />

Obviously, the above list of issues on which homosexuals may seek assistance from a<br />

psychologist is neither complete nor final. We have not considered issues of raising<br />

children in same-sex partnerships, issues of elderly homosexuals, issues of additive<br />

behaviour of homosexuals resulting from the experience of being rejected by the society<br />

etc. It is important, however, that the general approach to providing the psychological<br />

support in relation to these issues remains the same and would include the following<br />

main points:<br />

— to conduct analysis of the socio-cultural situation in which the client's<br />

psychological problem has formed and developed;<br />

— to work <strong>with</strong> gender and other social stereotypes of the client;<br />

— to give the client, in the course of counselling interaction, an experience of<br />

acceptance and non-evaluative attitude;<br />

— to raise the client's self-esteem and form a sense of unconditional inherent worth<br />

of one's personality;<br />

— to help form an integral gender and sexual identity of the client;<br />

— to develop the client's capacity and skills to uphold one's life philosophy and<br />

oppose various forms of social pressure.<br />

It is worth noting also that many problems <strong>with</strong> which the homosexuals seek help of<br />

the counselling service are essentially non-specific ones — people of heterosexual<br />

orientation may come <strong>with</strong> similar problems including: difficulties in relations between<br />

the partners, conflicts at home, feelings when leaving one's partner, psychological<br />

difficulties encountered when searching for a partner etc. In these cases, there is no<br />

need to emphasize one's sexual orientation and counselling may go on <strong>with</strong>out any<br />

specific problems.

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