Unikum desember 2019

I recently saw Mulan (1998)
And I have thoughts. Here are a couple of spicy hot-takes
Mulan is an idiot
I have no idea how we all seem to have missed
this as children. Mulan was a bad-ass, both in
real life and in the movie. But in the latter, she
is, quite frankly, an idiot too. Let me explain:
The Huns are invading China, and the Emperor
issues a general draft to protect his empire. Every
family must contribute with one man for the
army. Given that Mulan’s father has no sons, he
must suit up himself. But he is old and crippled
by an old war wound, so in order to save his life,
Mulan dresses up as a man and goes in his place.
Problem is, an old and crippled war veteran like him
would never even see the front lines. He would probably
have been given a cushy officer’s positions where
he would be pushing papers or training recruits.
Maybe even work as what a friend of mine called “war
consultant” when he forgot the word for “strategist”.
Point is, her father would be worse than useless in
action, as he cannot swing his sword without falling
down in pain, something Mulan witnessed herself. The
man can barely even walk, for fuck’s sake. Jeezus…!
But Mulan forgets to think and takes his place
in order to save him from sitting on a pillow
for the duration of the war. Or in order to “sAvE
hEr FaThEr”, as she calls it. Mulan is an idiot.
Although, to be fair, most people are idiots in this
movie. From Mushu the dragon’s general incompetence,
to the reserve army somehow being too distracted
while singing “a Girl Worth Fighting For” to notice the
still burning ruins of a razed village until it was literally
10 meters in front of them. Hello?! SCOUTING?!?!
Oh, and the entire empire of China somehow manage
to raise only a couple of dozen troops for their reserve
army? How the fuck can you mess up logistics that bad?
Mulan is an idiot, but so is most of ancient
China too. Apparently.
Mulan is trans, fight me !
Just to be clear, Mulan being trans has nothing to do
with the above point. Everyone can be an idiot, and
trans people deserve the right to act and think like idiots
as much as the rest of us. A right most of the non-trans
(cis) people in the movie certainly take advantage of..
Anyway, on my latest re-watch of Disney’s Mulan (1998),
I have become almost convinced that some bad-ass,
hardcore trans-activist somehow high-jacked the script
for the movie, because in retrospect, it almost seems
laughably obvious. Those far-right anti-SJW nitwits that
cry about Hollywood’s “far-left agenda” of inclusivity
and representation (the horror!) really missed a prime
example for their not-at-all-baked conspiracy theory.
But I digress.
Mulan is trans. Non-binary, to be precise.
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