asu in the news 02-06-08 to - ASU News - Arizona State University
asu in the news 02-06-08 to - ASU News - Arizona State University
asu in the news 02-06-08 to - ASU News - Arizona State University
- No tags were found...
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
GOT A MINUTE<br />
A hole <strong>in</strong> self defense<br />
This occasional Guy Page<br />
feature is guaranteed <strong>to</strong><br />
conta<strong>in</strong> no more than 160<br />
words which can be read at<br />
average speed <strong>in</strong> one m<strong>in</strong>ute<br />
It respects a guy s <strong>in</strong>nate<br />
desire <strong>to</strong> scan k<strong>in</strong>d of like<br />
watch<strong>in</strong>g TV with a remote<br />
When you see guys fight<br />
it s utterly artless Seems<br />
<strong>the</strong> more a guy knows about<br />
fight<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> less likely he is<br />
<strong>to</strong> do it There was a kid<br />
named Frankie who learned<br />
karate while <strong>in</strong> high school<br />
He lived near a <strong>to</strong>ugh neigh<br />
borhood and his dad<br />
wanted him <strong>to</strong> have <strong>the</strong><br />
lessons Frankie got one<br />
k<strong>in</strong>d of colored belt after<br />
ano<strong>the</strong>r<br />
One day <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> school<br />
yard a sk<strong>in</strong>ny kid with a<br />
cigarette hang<strong>in</strong>g from his<br />
lips bumped <strong>in</strong><strong>to</strong> Frankie<br />
This kid was known for his<br />
mean disposition Frankie<br />
s<strong>to</strong>od his ground and <strong>the</strong><br />
<strong>to</strong>ugh kid popped him—<br />
bam bam <strong>to</strong>o fast <strong>to</strong> see<br />
Blood from Frankie s nose<br />
Don t fire off<br />
Chicago TribuneCity<br />
Circulation: 917868<br />
DMA: Chicago, IL<br />
ran down his ch<strong>in</strong> and on<strong>to</strong><br />
his clo<strong>the</strong>s The only color<br />
on Frankie s belt that day<br />
was red Karate didn t help<br />
because it didn t make<br />
Frankie mean and it cer<br />
ta<strong>in</strong>ly didn t do anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong><br />
make <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r kid nice<br />
How politics<br />
plays <strong>in</strong> private<br />
The political season<br />
br<strong>in</strong>ge out <strong>the</strong> oddest poll<br />
sters Playboy s February<br />
edition carries this fac<strong>to</strong>id<br />
55 percent ofRepublicans<br />
say <strong>the</strong>y have sex at least<br />
once a week compared with<br />
43 percent ofDemocrats<br />
And Republicans say <strong>the</strong>y<br />
are more satisfied with<br />
thl^ir sex lives<br />
p||tegionaU <strong>the</strong> Industri<br />
falJMidwest was <strong>to</strong>ps <strong>in</strong><br />
sexual satisfaction and<br />
frequency but dragg<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />
all o<strong>the</strong>r categories ma<strong>in</strong>ly<br />
<strong>in</strong>volv<strong>in</strong>g adventure<br />
<strong>in</strong>sults until you<br />
know <strong>the</strong> weapon<br />
© Copyright <strong>02</strong>/03/20<strong>08</strong> Chicago TribuneCity Cision USA, Inc.<br />
All Rights Reserved.<br />
Unlicensed Reproduction, Sale or Republication Prohibited.<br />
City: Chicago<br />
<strong>State</strong>: IL<br />
If <strong>in</strong>sult<strong>in</strong>g someone is<br />
an art form <strong>the</strong>n Jeffrey<br />
Ross is Pablo Picasso Or<br />
more appropriately Gen<br />
Pat<strong>to</strong>n s<strong>in</strong>ce <strong>the</strong> stand up<br />
comedian has earned <strong>the</strong><br />
nickname roastmaster<br />
general for his verbal<br />
assaults dur<strong>in</strong>g Friars Club<br />
roasts of celebrities such as<br />
Pamela Anderson William<br />
Shatner and Flavor Flav<br />
Roast<strong>in</strong>g is a way <strong>to</strong><br />
honor somebody by dishon<br />
or<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong>m expla<strong>in</strong>ed <strong>the</strong><br />
New Jersey native labeled<br />
by New York Magaz<strong>in</strong>e<br />
<strong>the</strong> meanest man <strong>in</strong> come<br />
dy It s a tribute us<strong>in</strong>g<br />
backhanded compliments<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r deliver<strong>in</strong>g a<br />
best man speech at a wed<br />
d<strong>in</strong>g or just bust<strong>in</strong>g chops<br />
<strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> locker room most<br />
guys have experience roast<br />
<strong>in</strong>g buddies<br />
Human be<strong>in</strong>gs can t<br />
help mak<strong>in</strong>g fun of each<br />
o<strong>the</strong>r—it s at <strong>the</strong> very<br />
heart ofhuman nature<br />
Ross said I m sure <strong>the</strong>re<br />
vtl one caveman mak<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong>n of anott r caveman s<br />
ass<br />
But how do you do it<br />
right olic speak<strong>in</strong>g<br />
guides don t provide po<strong>in</strong>t<br />
ers en ridicul<strong>in</strong>g your<br />
f iend s sexual prowess So<br />
we asked Ross—<strong>the</strong> best<br />
<strong>the</strong>re is—for some roast<strong>in</strong>g<br />
tips<br />
Account: 2565G0<br />
Date: <strong>02</strong>/03/20<strong>08</strong><br />
Pub Num: ILD236SUN<br />
Section/Page: M8<br />
Page Count: 2 / 4<br />
RefNo: 336734