The Drama of the Gifted Child (The Search for the True Self)

ceptional capacity for suffering. Perhaps the same is true
of Vincent van Gogh, whose mother, throughout her life,
mourned and idealized the first Vincent who had died very
young. (Humberto Nagera, 1967).
The narcissistically cathected child has the chance to develop
his intellectual capacities undisturbed, but not the
world of his emotions, and this will have far-reaching consequences
for his well-being. Now his intellect will assume
a supportive function of enormous value in strengthening
his defense mechanism, but hidden behind that, his narcissistic
disturbance may grow deeper.
We may, in fact, find various mixtures and nuances of
narcissistic disturbances. For the sake of clarity, I shall try
to describe two extreme forms, of which I consider one to
be the reverse of the other—grandiosity and depression.
Behind manifest grandiosity, there constantly lurks depression,
and behind a depressive mood there often hide unconscious
(or conscious but split off) fantasies of grandiosity.
In fact, grandiosity is the defense against depression, and
depression is the defense against the deep pain over the loss
of the self.
Grandiosity. The person who is "grandiose" is admired
everywhere and needs this admiration; indeed, he cannot
live without it. He must excel brilliantly in everything he
undertakes, which he surely is capable of doing (otherwise
he just does not attempt it). He, too, admires himself—for
his qualities: his beauty, cleverness, talents—and for his
success and achievements. Woe betide if one of these fails
him, for then the catastrophe of a severe depression is imminent.
It is usually considered normal that sick or aged
people who have suffered the loss of much of their health
and vitality, or, for example, women at the time of the
menopause, should become depressive. There are, however,
other personalities who can tolerate the loss of beauty,
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