The Drama of the Gifted Child (The Search for the True Self)

Points of Contact with Some Theories of Depression
When we conceptualize depression as giving up one's real
self in order to preserve the object, we can find within this
view the main elements of theories of depression:
1. Freud's factor of impoverishment of the ego is, of
course, centrally contained in this concept, allowing for the
fact that, at the time of writing "Mourning and Melancholy"
(1917), he used the term "ego" in the sense in
which we now use the term "self."
2. What Karl Abraham (1912) described as turning aggression
against the self also is closely related to the idea of
the loss of the self, which I have tried to describe here. The
"destruction" of one's own feelings, needs, and fantasies
that are unwelcome to the primary object is an aggressive
act against the self. The feelings that are thus "killed" by
the depressive may vary according to the child's specific
situation—they are not merely linked to aggressive impulses.
3. W. Joffe and J. Sandier (1965a and 1965b) define
depression as a possible reaction to psychic pain caused by
the discrepancy between the actual and the ideal selfrepresentation.
Congruity of these two leads to a feeling
of well-being. In the language of object relations, that
would mean: the ideal self-representation is the heritage of
the primary objects whose approval and love ensure a sense
of well-being, just as their discrepancy brings the danger of
loss of love. If this pain could be risked and experienced,
there would be no depression, but for that a supportive
("holding") environment would have been necessary
at the crucial time.
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4. Finally, according to Edith Jacobson (1971), the