The Drama of the Gifted Child (The Search for the True Self)

The Legend of Narcissus
The legend of Narcissus actually tells us the tragedy of the
narcissistic disturbance. Narcissus sees his reflection in the
water and falls in love with his own beautiful face, of
which his mother was surely proud. The nymph Echo answers
the young man's calls because she is in love with his
beauty, just as their mothers are with our patients. Echo's
answering calls deceive Narcissus. His reflection deceives
him as well, since it shows only his perfect, wonderful
side and not his other parts. His back view, for instance,
and his shadow remain hidden from him; they do not belong
to and are cut off from his beloved reflection.
This stage of rapture can be compared with grandiosity,
just as the next (the consuming longing for himself)
can be likened to depression. Narcissus wanted to be nothing
but the beautiful youth. He denied his true self, wanted
to be at one with the beautiful picture. This leads to a giving
up of himself, to death or, in Ovid's version, to being
changed into a flower. This death is the logical consequence
of the fixation on the false self. It is not only the
"beautiful," "good," and pleasant feelings that make us
really alive, deepen our existence, and give us crucial insight—but
often precisely the unacceptable and unadapted
ones from which we would prefer to escape: impotence,
shame, envy, jealousy, confusion, and mourning. These
feelings can be experienced in the analyst's consulting room
and grow beyond their archaic form. In this way this room
is also a mirror of the analysand's inner world, which is
much richer than the "beautiful countenance!"
Narcissus was in love with his idealized picture, but
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