The laughable stories collected by Mâr Gregory John Bar Hebræ

I 34
THE LAUGHABLE STORIES OF BAR-HEBRyEUS.
and said, "Behold, I did not come down, and I did
"not go up, but I fell down." Her husband said to
her, "Believe me, if only the people of the city were
"acquainted with thee they would certainly hire thee
"to teach them cunning ways of making their decisions."
DIV. When another actor was drunk his wife, said
to him, "I wish to God that He would make the
"drinking of wine abominable in thy sight." And he
said to her, "And I also wish that he would make sweet-
"meats, and cakes, and dainty foods abominable in thy
"sight, for behold thou hast ruined my house by the
"buying of flour, and dripping, and honey."
DV. Mimus alius quidam deformem quamdam viduam
uxorem duxerat interrogatus, "Qualis sit ista femina,"
regessit, "Vaginae latitudine aream Arani^ refert, frigi-
"ditate
autem Montem Libanum."
DVI. Another actor was asked if it were possible for
a child to be born to a man seventy years old, and he
replied,
"Yes, if he hath a neighbour handy aged thirty."
DVII. The wife of another actor being with child
looked at her husband's ugly face and said, "Woe is
"me if the child which I carry in my womb resembleth
"thee." And he said, "Nay, but woe be to thee if he
"doth not resemble me, for thou shalt no longer eat
"my bread, and I will send thee away to him whom
"the child shall resemble."
DVIII. Another actor saw a Jew who had become
a Christian and who was not leading a very good life,
and he said to him, "O thou who didst provoke Moses
"to wrath, and who dost not please Christ, go now to
"Muhammed. Perhaps, however, thou wilt die on thy
"first coming to him, and before thou hast time to
^ I.e., Oman or Araunah. See 2 Samuel xxiv. 16; i Chronicles xxi. 18.