The laughable stories collected by Mâr Gregory John Bar Hebræ

STORIES OF THIEVES AND OF ROBBERS. I 6/
DCLX. From one of the elders a Book of the
Gospels with a golden case was stolen, and he stood
up in the church, and admonished and cursed him that
had stolen it. And when he saw them all weeping
and uttering curses with him, he said to them, "Behold,
"all ye people of the village, ye all weep, men, and
"women, and children, but if your weeping be sincere,
"who stole the Book of the Gospels?"
DCLXI. When some money had been stolen from
another man, he said, "This is a sad day," and a thief
replied, "Not for every man."
DCLXII. When another robber broke into a house
and found nothing therein except a pen and some ink,
he took [the pen] and wrote on the wall, "Woe is me
"for your sakes! How needy and lazy ye must be."
DCLXIII. From another man some money was stolen,
and he suspected that his wife had stolen it. And
while he was weeping and groaning his neighbour said
to him, "Weep not, have hope in God and He will
"return to thee thy money." And the man said to
him, "Behold, this woman maketh no use of God, and
"it will not be easy for her to return anything; and
"as for God, whom doth He fear that He should return
"anything?"
DCLXIV. Another thief stole an ass and carried him
to the market to sell, and when he was asked for how
much he had sold it, he said, "For exactly what I gave
"for it: I gained nothing and I lost nothing."
DCLXV. Certain thieves went into the house of another
man, and took everything which they found
therein, and they left nothing there except a mat; and
as they were going out the owner of the house took
the mat himself and went forth with them. The thieves