Issue #20 (2011) PDF - myweb - Long Island University

i don't know what living is, but i think that for lily, it might have been something like disobeying
mom and dad. not being perfect, for once.
for me, it's being noticed. loved. i don't think either one of us is ever going to live again.
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i'm sorry.
i shouldn't be taking all this out on you. it's not your fault my sister died. it's not your fault you
remind me of the boy she died with.
what i'm doing is stalking. i shouldn't follow you home every day after school. i shouldn't scour the
internet for every mention of your name.
your family hangs up now when they hear my voice. you've blocked me on aim and you will not
return my pokes on facebook.
i want to stop. i'm trying to stop.
it isn't easy. i probably won't change. i just want you to know that i'm trying.
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you didn't need to go as far as you did.
i was never going to hurt you. you knew that.
calling the police was cruel and pointless.
i'm sorry. i know you're afraid and i know you can't stand me, but did you really have to strike me
so brutally
my parents will kill me. they won't understand. i've hardly said a word to them since lily died and
they…
they'll think i'm crazy. they won't let me live with them anymore.
because they don't love me, and they will be ashamed of me. and you don't know how that feels.
i guess you will take out a restraining order.
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