Inner Strength - Access to Insight

probably our enemies in past lives. We probably oppressed them, imprisonedthem, or had them put to death. We got in the way of the good they were tryingto do, so they’ve got some old scores to settle. They want to block the path we’retrying to practice so that we don’t make any progress. They come whisperinginto our ears: “Stop. Stop. You’re going to die. You’re going to starve. It’s goingto rain too hard, the sun’s too hot, it’s too early, too late,” they go on and on.These are the consciousnesses that come as our enemies. There are others thatused to be our relatives and friends. They want to do good but they can’t, sothey take up residence in our body so that they can bow down to the Buddhaand chant along with us.Because of all this, there are times when our hearts are like monsters andogres. We can’t imagine why it’s happening, and yet it’s happening, even thoughwe don’t want it to. Then there are other times when our hearts are like devas—so sweet and good-tempered that other people can curse our mother’s wholefamily and we won’t get mad. Then there are other times when there’s no callfor anger and yet we manage to get angry in really nasty, ugly ways. That’s theway it is with these consciousnesses: all very confused and confusing, and theycome seeping into our bodies. That’s how you should look at things.There’s yet another group of consciousnesses: the ones who have come tocollect old kamma debts. They’re the germs that eat away at our flesh—at ournose, our ears—to ruin our looks. They eat away at our lower lip, exposing ourteeth, making us embarrassed and ashamed. Sometimes they eat away at one ofour ears, or eat away at our nose all the way up to the forehead. Sometimes theyeat at our eyes, our hands, our feet. Sometimes they eat away at our wholebody, making our skin diseased.These are kamma debt collectors. In the past we made life miserable forthem, so this time around they’re ganging up to make us squirm. The one’s thatare really easy to see are the worms that help eat the food in our intestines. Inthe past we probably ate their flesh and skin, so this time around they’re goingto eat ours. They eat, eat, eat—eat everything. “Whatever you’ve got, youbastard, I’m going to eat it all.” That’s what they say. How are we ever going toget rid of them? They eat our outsides where we can see them, so we chase themaway and they go running inside, to eat in our stomach and intestines. That’swhen it really gets bad: We can’t even see them, and they’re even harder to getrid of.So they keep making us squirm as they keep eating, eating away: eating inour intestines, eating in our stomach, eating our kidneys, our liver, our lungs,eating in our blood vessels, eating our body hairs, eating everything all over theplace. They eat outside and turn into skin diseases. They eat inside as worms andgerms. And they themselves get into fights—after all, there are lots of differentgangs in there. Even just the worms have 108 clans. So when there are so manyof them, they’re bound to quarrel, creating a ruckus in our home. How can weever hope to withstand them? Sometimes we fall in with them without realizingit. How can that happen? Because there are so many of them that we can’t resist.These living beings in our body: Sometimes they get angry and get intofights. Sometimes they run into one another on the street and start biting and92