Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackerayor the master calls out “THOMAS” from the hall. Do yousuppose you can expect absolute candor from a manwhom you may order to powder his hair? As betweenthe Rev. Henry Holyshade and his pupil, the idea ofentire unreserve is utter bosh; so the truth as betweenyou and Jeames or Thomas, or Mary the housemaid, orBetty the cook, is relative, and not to be demanded onone side or the other. Why, respectful civility is itself alie, which poor Jeames often has to utter or perform tomany a swaggering vulgarian, who should black Jeames’sboots, did Jeames wear them and not shoes. There isyour little Tom, just ten, ordering the great, large, quiet,orderly young man about—shrieking calls for hot water—bullyingJeames because the boots are not varnishedenough, or ordering him to go to the stables,and ask Jenkins why the deuce Tomkins hasn’t broughthis pony round—or what you will. There is mamma rappingthe knuckles of Pincot the lady’s-maid, and littleMiss scolding Martha, who waits up five pair of stairs inthe nursery. Little Miss, Tommy, papa, mamma, you allexpect from Martha, from Pincot, from Jenkins, fromJeames, obsequious civility and willing service. My dear,good people, you can’t have truth too. Suppose you askfor your newspaper, and Jeames says, “I’m reading it,and jest beg not to be disturbed;” or suppose you askfor a can of water, and he remarks, “You great, big,‘ulking fellar, ain’t you big enough to bring it hupyoursulf?” what would your feelings be? Now, if youmade similar proposals or requests to Mr. Jones nextdoor, this is the kind of answer Jones would give you.You get truth habitually from equals only; so my goodMr. Holyshade, don’t talk to me about the habitual candorof the young Etonian of high birth, or I have myown opinion of your candor or discernment when youdo. No. Tom Bowling is the soul of honor and has beentrue to Black-eyed Syousan since the last time theyparted at Wapping Old Stairs; but do you suppose Tomis perfectly frank, familiar, and aboveboard in his conversationwith Admiral Nelson, K.C.B.? There are secrets,prevarications, fibs, if you will, between Tom and theAdmiral—between your crew and their captain. I knowI hire a worthy, clean, agreeable, and conscientious male103