Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackerayhands. One dear little lady, whom I knew, and who satopposite, gave a pretty blush, and popped her paperunder the tablecloth. I told her I had had my whippingalready in my own private room, and begged her tocontinue her reading. I may have undergone agonies,you see, but every man who has been bred at an Englishpublic school comes away from a private interview withDr. Birch with a calm, even a smiling face. And this isnot impossible, when you are prepared. You screw yourcourage up—you go through the business. You comeback and take your seat on the form, showing not theleast symptom of uneasiness or of previousunpleasantries. But to be caught suddenly up, andwhipped in the bosom of your family—to sit down tobreakfast, and cast your innocent eye on a paper, andfind, before you are aware, that the Saturday Monitoror Black Monday Instructor has hoisted you and is layingon—that is indeed a trial. Or perhaps the familyhas looked at the dreadful paper beforehand, and weaklytries to hide it. “Where is the Instructor, or the Monitor?”say you. “Where is that paper?” says mamma toone of the young ladies. Lucy hasn’t it. Fanny hasn’tseen it. Emily thinks that the governess has it. At last,out it is brought, that awful paper! Papa is amazinglytickled with the article on Thomson; thinks that showup of Johnson is very lively; and now—heaven be goodto us!—he has come to the critique on himself:—”Ofall the rubbish which we have had from Mr. Tomkins,we do protest and vow that this last cartload is” &c. Ah,poor Tomkins!—but most of all, ah! poor Mrs. Tomkins,and poor Emily, and Fanny, and Lucy, who have to sit byand see paterfamilias put to the torture!Now, on this eventful Saturday, I did not cry, becauseit was not so much the Editor as the Publisher of theCornhill Magazine who was brought out for a dressing;and it is wonderful how gallantly one bears the misfortunesof one’s friends. That a writer should be taken totask about his books, is fair, and he must abide thepraise or the censure. But that a publisher should becriticised for his dinners, and for the conversation whichdid NOT take place there,—is this tolerable press practice,legitimate joking, or honorable warfare? I have53