Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackeraya profession? and please say how many daughters; andwould the lady like them to be musical? And how manycompany dinners a week? Not too many, for fear of fatiguingthe upper kitchen-maid; but sufficient, so as tokeep the upper kitchen-maid’s hand in. [N.B.—I thinkI can see a rather bewildered expression on the countenancesof Mesdames Doddles and Toddles as I am prattlingon in this easy bantering way.]4. The head kitchen-maid wishes to stay for two years,and improve herself under the man-cook, and having ofcourse sucked the brains (as the phrase is) from underthe chefs nightcap, then the head kitchen-maid wishesto go.And upon my word, Mrs. Toddles, mum, I will go andfetch the cab for her. The cab? Why not her ladyship’sown carriage and pair, and the head coachman to driveaway the head kitchen-maid? You see she stipulates foreverything—the time to come; the time to stay; thefamily she will be with; and as soon as she has improvedherself enough, of course the upper kitchenmaidwill step into the carriage and drive off.Well, upon my word and conscience, if things are comingto this pass, Mrs. Toddles and Mrs. Doddles, mum, Ithink I will go up stairs and get a basin and a sponge,and then down stairs and get some hot water; and thenI will go and scrub that chalk-mark off my own doorwith my own hands.It is wiped off, I declare! After ever so many weeks!Who has done it? It was just a little round-about mark,you know, and it was there for days and weeks, before Iever thought it would be the text of a Roundabout Paper.109