Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Roundabout Papersand who stop at every inn in the world. The eldest goesto the “Lion d’Or”—capital house, good table-d’hote,excellent wine, moderate charges. The second commissionertries the “Silver Lion”—tolerable house, bed, dinner,bill and so forth. But fancy Commissioner No. 3—the poor fag, doubtless, and boots of the party. He hasto go to the “Lion Noir.” He knows he is to have a baddinner—he eats it uncomplainingly. He is to have badwine. He swallows it, grinding his wretched teeth, andaware that he will he unwell in consequence. He knowshe is to have a dirty bed, and what he is to expectthere. He pops out the candle. He sinks into those dingysheets. He delivers over his body to the nightly tormentors,he pays an exorbitant bill, and he writes down,“Lion Noir, bad, dirty, dear.” Next day the commissionsets out for Arras, we will say, and they begin again: “LeCochon d’Or,” “Le Cochon d’Argent,” “Le Cochon Noir”—and that is poor Boots’s inn, of course. What a life thatpoor man must lead! What horrors of dinners he has togo through! What a hide he must have! And yet notimpervious; for unless he is bitten, how is he to be ableto warn others? No: on second thoughts, you will perceivethat he ought to have a very delicate skin. Themonsters ought to troop to him eagerly, and bite himinstantaneously and freely, so that he may be able towarn all future handbook buyers of their danger. I fancythis man devoting himself to danger, to dirt, to bad dinners,to sour wine, to damp beds, to midnight agonies, toextortionate bills. I admire him, I thank him. Think ofthis champion, who devotes his body for us—this dauntlessgladiator going to do battle alone in the darkness,with no other armor than a light helmet of cotton, and alorica of calico. I pity and honor him. Go, Spartacus! Go,devoted man—to bleed, to groan, to suffer—and smilein silence as the wild beasts assail thee!How did I come into this talk? I protest it was theword inn set me off—and here is one, the “Hotel deBelle Vue,” at the Hague, as comfortable, as handsome,as cheerful as any I ever took mine ease in. And theBavarian beer, my dear friend, how good and brisk andlight it is! Take another glass—it refreshes and doesnot stupefy—and then we will sally out, and see the184