Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackeray“Pendennis,” or the “Newcomes,” in his lap and if awriter can give you a sweet soothing, harmless sleep,has he not done you a kindness? So is the author whoexcites and interests you worthy of your thanks andbenedictions. I am troubled with fever and ague, thatseizes me at odd intervals and prostrates me for a day.There is cold fit, for which, I am thankful to say, hotbrandy-and-water is prescribed, and this induces hotfit, and so on. In one or two of these fits I have readnovels with the most fearful contentment of mind. Once,on the Mississippi, it was my dearly beloved “Jacob Faithful:”once at Frankfort O. M., the delightful “Vingt AnsApres” of Monsieur Dumas: once at Tunbridge wells, thethrilling “Woman in White:” and these books gave meamusement from morning till sunset. I remember thoseague fits with a great deal of pleasure and gratitude.Think of a whole day in bed, and a good novel for acompanion! No cares: no remorse about idleness: novisitors: and the Woman in White or the Chevalierd’Artagnan to tell me stories from dawn to night! “Please,ma’am, my master’s compliments, and can he have thethird volume?” (This message was sent to an astonishedfriend and neighbor who lent me, volume by volume,the W. in W.) How do you like your novels? I like minestrong, “hot with,” and no mistake: no love-making: noobservations about society: little dialogue, except wherethe characters are bullying each other: plenty of fighting:and a villain in the cupboard, who is to suffer torturesjust before Finis. I don’t like your melancholy Finis.I never read the history of a consumptive heroinetwice. If I might give a short hint to an impartial writer(as the Examiner used to say in old days), it would beto act, not a la mode le pays de Pole (I think that wasthe phraseology), but always to give quarter. In thestory of Philip, just come to an end, I have the permissionof the author to state, that he was going to drownthe two villains of the piece—a certain Doctor F——and a certain Mr. T. H—— on board the “President,” orsome other tragic ship—but you see I relented. I picturedto myself Firmin’s ghastly face amid the crowd ofshuddering people on that reeling deck in the lonelyocean, and thought, “Thou ghastly lying wretch, thou239