Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackerayknow who told her—one of those acute fellows, my dearbrethren, of whom we spoke in a previous sermon, whohas found me out—found out actions which I neverdid, found out thoughts and sayings which I never spoke,and judged me accordingly. Ah, my lad! have I foundyou out? O risum teneatis. Perhaps the person I am accusingis no more guilty than I.How comes it that the evil which men say spreads sowidely and lasts so long, whilst our good, kind wordsdon’t seem somehow to take root and bear blossom? Isit that in the stony hearts of mankind these pretty flowerscan’t find a place to grow? Certain it is that scandalis good, brisk talk, whereas praise of one’s neighbor isby no means lively hearing. An acquaintance grilled,scored, devilled, and served with mustard and cayennepepper, excites the appetite; whereas a slice of coldfriend with currant jelly is but a sickly, unrelishing meat.Now, such being the case, my dear worthy Mrs. Candor,in whom I know there are a hundred good andgenerous qualities: it being perfectly clear that the goodthings which we say of our neighbors don’t fructify, butsomehow perish in the ground where they are dropped,whilst the evil words are wafted by all the winds ofscandal, take root in all sods, and flourish amazingly—seeing, I say, that this conversation does not give us afair chance, suppose we give up censoriousness altogether,and decline uttering our opinions about Brown,Jones, and Robinson (and Mesdames B., J., and R.) atall. We may be mistaken about every one of them, as,please goodness, those anecdote-mongers against whomI have uttered my meek protest have been mistakenabout me. We need not go to the extent of saying thatMrs. Manning was an amiable creature, much misunderstood;and Jack Thurtell a gallant, unfortunate fellow,not near so black as he was painted; but we will try andavoid personalities altogether in talk, won’t we? We willrange the fields of science, dear madam, and communicateto each other the pleasing results of our studies.We will, if you please, examine the infinitesimal wondersof nature through the microscope. We will cultivateentomology. We will sit with our arms round eachother’s waists on the pons asinorum, and see the stream123