Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Thackeraysmiling young Scottish gentleman, who forced himselfinto my study, and there announced himself as agent ofa Cattle-food Company, was received with pleasure?There, as I sat in my arm-chair, suppose he had proposedto draw a couple of my teeth, would I have beenpleased? I could have throttled that agent. I dare saythe whole of that day’s work will be found tinged witha ferocious misanthropy, occasioned by my clever youngfriend’s intrusion. Cattle-food, indeed! As if beans, oats,warm mashes, and a ball, are to be pushed down a man’sthroat just as he is meditating on the great social problem,or (for I think it was my epic I was going to touchup) just as he was about to soar to the height of theempyrean!Having got my cattle-agent out of the door, I resumemy consideration of that little mark on the doorpost,which is scored up as the text of the present little sermon;and which I hope will relate, not to chalk, nor toany of its special uses or abuses (such as milk, neckpowder,and the like), but to servants. Surely ours mightremove that unseemly little mark. Suppose it were onmy coat, might I not request its removal? I remember,when I was at school, a little careless boy, upon whoseforehead an ink-mark remained, and was perfectly recognizablefor three weeks after its first appearance. MayI take any notice of this chalk-stain on the forehead ofmy house? Whose business is it to wash that forehead?and ought I to fetch a brush and a little hot water, andwash it off myself?Yes. But that spot removed, why not come down atsix, and wash the doorsteps? I dare say the early risingand exercise would do me a great deal of good. Thehousemaid, in that case, might lie in bed a little later,and have her tea and the morning paper brought to herin bed: then, of course, Thomas would expect to behelped about the boots and knives; cook about the saucepans,dishes, and what not; the lady’s-maid would wantsomebody to take the curl-papers out of her hair, andget her bath ready. You should have a set of servantsfor the servants, and these under servants should haveslaves to wait on them. The king commands the firstlord in waiting to desire the second lord to intimate to99