Roundabout Papers - Penn State University

Roundabout Papersborhood the principal men of all London come to hearor impart the news; and the affairs of the state or ofprivate individuals, the quarrels of empires or of authors,the movements of the court, or the splendid vagariesof fashion, the intrigues of statesmen or of personsof another sex yet more wily, the last news of battlesin the great occidental continents, nay, the latest bettingfor the horse-races, or the advent of a dancer atthe theatre—all that men do is discussed in these PallMall agorae, where we of London daily assemble.Now among so many talkers, consider how many falsereports must fly about: in such multitudes imagine howmany disappointed men there must be; how manychatterboxes; how many feeble and credulous (whereofI mark some specimens in my congregation); how manymean, rancorous, prone to believe ill of their betters,eager to find fault; and then, my brethren, fancy howthe words of my text must have been read and receivedin Pall Mall! (I perceive several of the congregation lookingmost uncomfortable. One old boy with a dyed moustacheturns purple in the face, and struts back to theMartium: another, with a shrug of the shoulder and amurmur of “Rubbish,” slinks away in the direction ofthe Togatorium, and the preacher continues.) The willof Field-Marshal Lord Clyde—signed AT Chatham, mind,where his lordship died—is written, Strange to Say, ona sheet of paper bearing the “Athenaeum Club” mark!The inference is obvious. A man cannot get Athenaeumpaper except at the “Athenaeum.” Such paper is notsold at Chatham, where the last codicil to his lordship’swill is dated. And so the painful belief is forced uponus, that a Peer, a Field-Marshal, wealthy, respected, illustrious,could pocket paper at his Club, and carry itaway with him to the country. One fancies the hallporterconscious of the old lord’s iniquity, and holdingdown his head as the Marshal passes the door. What isthat roll which his lordship carries? Is it his Marshal’sbaton gloriously won? No; it is a roll of foolscap conveyedfrom the Club. What has he on his breast, underhis greatcoat? Is it his Star of India? No; it is a bundleof envelopes, bearing the head of Minerva, some sealing-wax,and a half-score of pens.310