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From the Life of the Elder Zossima 185“An awful text,” he said. “There’s no denying you’ve picked outfitting ones.” He rose from the chair. “Well!” he said, “goodbye,perhaps I shan’t come again…we shall meet in heaven. So I havebeen fourteen years ‘in the hands of the living God.’ That’s howone must think of those fourteen years. Tomorrow I will beseechthose hands to let me go.”I wanted to take him in my arms and kiss him, but I did notdare – his face was contorted and somber. He went away.“Good God,” I thought, “what has he gone to face!” I fell on myknees before the icon and wept for him before the holy Motherof God, our swift defender and helper. I was half an hour prayingin tears, and it was late, about midnight. Suddenly I saw the dooropen and he came in again. I was surprised.“Where have you been?” I asked him.“I think,” he said, “I’ve forgotten something…my handkerchief,I think…Well, even if I’ve not forgotten anything, let mestay a little.”He sat down. I stood over him.“You sit down, too,” said he.I sat down. We sat still for two minutes; he looked intently atme and suddenly smiled – I remembered that – then he got up,embraced me warmly, and kissed me.“Remember,” he said, “how I came to you a second time. Doyou hear? Remember it!”And he went out.“Tomorrow,” I thought.And so it was. I did not know that evening that the next daywas his birthday. I had not been out for the last few days so I hadno chance of hearing it from anyone. On that day he always hada great gathering; everyone in the town went to it. It was the samethis time. After dinner he walked into the middle of the room