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54 The Gospel in Dostoyevskyhave taken it from anywhere. I thought I’d forgotten it…butI’ve unconsciously recalled it – I recalled it myself – it was notyou telling it! Thousands of things are unconsciously rememberedlike that even when people are being taken to execution…it’s come back to me in a dream. You are that dream! You are adream, not a living creature!”“From the vehemence with which you deny my existence,”laughed the gentleman, “I am convinced that you believe in me.”“Not in the slightest! I haven’t a hundredth part of a grain offaith in you!”“But you have the thousandth of a grain. Homeopathic dosesperhaps are the strongest. Confess that you have faith even to theten-thousandth of a grain.”“Not for one minute,” cried Ivan furiously. “But I should liketo believe in you,” he added strangely.“Aha! There’s an admission! But I am good-natured. I’ll cometo your assistance again. Listen, it was I caught you, not you me.I told you your anecdote you’d forgotten, on purpose, so as todestroy your faith in me completely.”“You are lying. The object of your visit is to convince me ofyour existence!”“Just so. But hesitation, suspense, conflict between belief anddisbelief – is sometimes such torture to a conscientious man likeyou that it’s better to hang oneself at once. Knowing that you areinclined to believe in me, I administered some disbelief by tellingyou that anecdote. I lead you to belief and disbelief by turns, andI have my motive in it. It’s the new method. As soon as you disbelievein me completely, you’ll begin assuring me that I am nota dream but a reality. I know you. Then I shall have attained myobject, which is an honorable one. I shall sow in you only a tinygrain of faith and it will grow into an oak tree – and such an oak

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