Download - Plough

The Devil 43to take me for something real, not simply your fancy, as you persistedin declaring last time...”“Never for one minute have I taken you for reality,” Ivan criedwith a sort of fury. “You are a lie, you are my illness, you are aphantom. It’s only that I don’t know how to destroy you, and Isee I must suffer for a time. You are my hallucination. You are theincarnation of myself, but only of one side of me – of my thoughtsand feelings, but only the most nasty and stupid of them. Fromthat point of view you might be of interest to me, if only I hadtime to waste on you...”“Excuse me, excuse me, I’ll prove it. You flew out at Alyoshaunder the lamppost this evening and shouted to him: ‘Youlearned it from him! How do you know that he visits me?’ Youwere thinking of me then. So for one brief moment you didbelieve that I really exist,” the gentleman laughed blandly.“Yes, that was a moment of weakness…but I couldn’t believein you. I don’t know whether I was asleep or awake last time.Perhaps I was only dreaming then and didn’t really see you atall…”“And why were you so surly with Alyosha just now? He is adear; I’ve treated him badly over Father Zossima.”“Don’t talk of Alyosha! How dare you, you flunkey!” Ivanlaughed again.“You berate me, but you laugh – that’s a good sign. But you areever so much more polite than you were last time and I knowwhy: that great resolution of yours...”“Don’t speak of my resolution,” cried Ivan savagely.“I understand, I understand, so noble, so charming, you aregoing to defend your brother and sacrifice yourself…That ischivalrous.”“Hold your tongue, or I’ll kick you!”