June 2017

More documents

Recommendations

Info

HUMOR Baring and Daring Weddings by Victoria Landis Life is short, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, do what makes you happy. But some wedding attire 40 trends might make me change my lifelong motto. There are some things you cannot ‘unsee’ and therefore, permanent damage to one’s ability to believe in common sense is a distinct possibility. It’s not fair to invite unsuspecting folks to your nuptials, then make them watch a spectacle that will give them nightmares. If you’re going to do something bizarro, give the invitees a heads up, so they can politely craft an excuse to miss it. I thought I’d heard of everything when it came to weddings. Nope. Turns out, if you don’t keep up, the ever-increasing onslaught of weird news will run right by. The most stomach-churning ones, to me, are the naked or nearly naked, bridal parties. The very idea gives me hives. That said, if it’s taking place at a nudist colony or nude beach, well then, anybody attending already knows what’s exposed, so those don’t count. Naked wedding parties are similar to the disappointment of going to a nude beach, because most who option out of clothing aren’t the ones we want to see in their birthday suits. From the pictures I’ve seen (my retinas will never be the same), the people who get naked-hitched aren’t exactly good-looking. That’s fine. I’m not passing judgment, I swear. But, gee golly willikers Bob, give the witnesses a choice. If invited, chances are they know the bride and/or groom and possibly much of the bridal party. They can calculate in advance JUNE <strong>2017</strong> how much alcohol to drink before arriving, or decide to be busy that day. I wonder if one such group knows their picture is on the first page of search results. The bridesmaids wore G-strings and garterbelted stockings, stilettos, and red glittery pasties over their boobs. The groomsmen wore short-shorts and top hats. The generously sized bride and groom wore less than their attendants. And tattoos in the most interesting places. Not that there’s anything wrong with permanently coloring your body if that’s what you want to do. But making the rest of us aware of intimate details we really don’t want to know is just plain mean. Like the one bridesmaid who had the word “lefty” on her left breast, and “ritey” on her right breast. Yes, the tattoo artist got it wrong. Where I came from, if you could see the bride’s bra strap, it was an embarrassment. Of course, I’m from a tiny Mayberry-ish town in New Jersey. Now I live in South Florida, and I should be used to anything and everything, but yikes. There was an expectant bride who was apparently very excited about the impending birth of her child because she wore a gown with a big hole cut out in the middle for her naked baby bump to protrude through. Another wore a topless gown to show off her enormous ta-tas, which had sequined white pasties over them. I do not understand this. I remember my father and my grandparents lamenting the new generation and the way they did things. I thought they were hopelessly old-fashioned. Jeez, maybe I’m just getting old. P
• Ask about P.A.C.E the financing PARKLANDER for NO MONEY DOWN! 41
Page 1 and 2: Parklander the THE FAMILY FRIENDLY
Page 3 and 4: ...Planning an event? Come experien
Page 5 and 6: Soak up the SUN! TOUR OUR 12 NEW MO
Page 7 and 8: What is your Home Worth? Get 3 Free
Page 9 and 10: DJ’s Lawn & Landscaping,Inc. When
Page 11 and 12: CORAL SPRINGS MAYOR SKIP CAMPBELL T
Page 13 and 14: Congressman Ted Deutch (D-FL 21 st
Page 15 and 16: Fourth of July in Mullins Park July
Page 17 and 18: the PARKLANDER 15
Page 19 and 20: Your fulltime, hands-on, results or
Page 23 and 24: Luis Cruz Azaceta, left, leading th
Page 25 and 26: Come & Experience the Quality of ou
Page 29 and 30: For Your Information The following
Page 31 and 32: 2017 HURRICANE SEASON IS HERE! Can
Page 33 and 34: Refinish Your Old Patio Furniture &
Page 35 and 36: EAGLE TRACE - CORAL SPRINGS 5/4 POO
Page 39 and 40: Expires 7/15/17 the PARKLANDER 37
Page 41: HYDE’S Screening Specialists www.
Page 45 and 46: RESIDENTIAL REAL ESTATE # 1 REAL ES
Page 49 and 50: LIST PRICE: $3,650,000 5 BED | 6 BA
Page 53 and 54: Ashley Cacicedo Sandy Silver Shari
Page 57 and 58: EXCLUSIVE HCG SPECIAL $ 295 * “I
Page 59 and 60: This Holiday Season I OFFER HOME IN
Page 61 and 62: a Smartphone, users can get access
Page 63 and 64: Advisors Office: 954-369-0090 www.s
Page 65 and 66: Automation Your Way HOME AUTOMATION
Page 67 and 68: x PLANNING AN EVENT? x Please inqui
Page 69 and 70: Steeltown Religion rocks the crowd.
Page 73 and 74: PICTURED LEFT TO RIGHT: MATTHEW LEV
Page 75 and 76: School RIVERGLADES ELEMENTARY by Pa
Page 77 and 78: PARKLAND SOCCER RECREATIONAL PROGRA
Page 79 and 80: Register Online at www.cityofparkla
Page 81 and 82: Diverse learning opportunities for
Page 83 and 84: Dear Confused, Like you, I have a l
Page 85 and 86: Located in Coral Springs • Servin
Page 87 and 88: FOUR STAR PATIENT CARE BROWARD HEAL
Page 89 and 90: South Florida’s Premier Shoulder
Page 91 and 92: facilities can be rentals, but a fe
Page 93 and 94:
Exclusive Memory Care Neighborhood
Page 95 and 96:
SERVING ONE FAMILY AT A TIME • On
Page 97 and 98:
Classic simplicity in a tranquil, b
Page 99 and 100:
School’s Out Enjoy Your Summer! 2
Page 101 and 102:
ADVERTORIAL Broward County Reside
Page 103 and 104:
Transforming Your Smile Through Who
Page 105 and 106:
SOLD CYPRESSHEAD • PARKLAND Water
Page 107 and 108:
Cadet of the Year Stoneman student
Page 109 and 110:
BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT SAWGRASS TACTICA
Page 111 and 112:
y Glenn Kalick, DVM PET TALK Sticky
Page 113 and 114:
Fashion, Wedding, and Event Photogr
Page 115 and 116:
the PARKLANDER 115
show all

June 2017

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?