June 2018

WELLNESS
What is Eating
Our Boys?
by Marlo Scott, Health Educator, M.S,
Professor at Broward College
While it is obvious that mass shootings can only be called
“shootings” because they involve guns – and guns are the
common factor – there is an elephant in the room of another
constant aspect. The only thing these mass shootings have in
common is that they are almost always carried out by males,
many of whom are young men. It is true they all have different
degrees of criminal history and/or mental health backgrounds,
according to Daniel Victor, journalist for the New York Times.
Victor adds that their reasons may range from revenge, personal
notoriety, or a vendetta over a grievance. My question is, since
we recognize the obvious, how do we deal with this and move
forward in the wake of the most recent tragedy in Parkland?
“It’s not that girls don’t get angry too, but
they tend to be more amenable to processing
emotions and talking them through,” said Dr.
Steven Stosny, Ph.D, in Psychology Today. “This
does give parents an opportunity, if astute enough, to
deal with them.”
Furthermore, Ami Smith, LMHC, adds that the ways that boys
act out are unique. “Boys don’t just grow up ‘angry,’ but they
can become isolated and alienated over time as relationships
with caregivers experience strain, challenges with peers
increase, and adolescent insecurities peak.”
Dr. Stosny said it’s the testosterone factor. It should
be considered in this day and age of violent video
games, over-the-top violence in movies and social
media, in addition to song lyrics, all of which have
influences. “The testosterone surges that boys
experience blunts their fear while it disinhibits, making
them more susceptible to dangerous behaviors that
both invoke and result from anger,” Stosny adds.
All of this is very concerning to me, as a mom of two boys. My
boys have always been everything to me. Although they have
been seemingly sweet for most of their young lives, they are
teenagers now, and things are changing. Sure, all teens have
attitude and try risky behaviors. Some may even be depressed
or angry at times. So how do we, as parents, decipher when
it is a problem or a true mental health emergency? My son,
Jake Scott, said, “men handle their problems with violence
because that is what they see.” He adds that many kids build
up stress from “overloaded pressure and schedules.” Have we,
as parents, overloaded our kids, thinking keeping them busy
at every moment would be a good thing? It is a question to
ponder. If Dr. Stosny believes that girls talk their problems out
to solve them, then how can we do a better job in reaching
boys and encouraging them to do the same? Why aren’t boys
given outlets to talk their problems out? If they think it is not
“acceptable” to discuss problems with other males, how do we
make it acceptable? Will it be acceptable if we add more social
programs for boys in schools, peer counseling, or maybe an
app on the phone?
Smith stated that boys need safe outlets for managing “intense
emotions.” Ideas she offers are talking to a trusted adult, playing
sports, scout clubs, volunteering, and playing music. “It is
important to prioritize and cultivate relationships with trusted
adults (dad, uncle, mom, grandpa, teachers, coaches), as
it keeps them connected to others and avoids isolation and
alienation, both indicators of psychological imbalance,” Smith
said.
Other ideas to explore as part of the problem, in addition
to what has already been mentioned, is sleep, nutrition, and
exercise. It is widely known that exercise is used as a therapy
for many issues. Food, and sugars in particular, can definitely
play a part in causing mood swings. Furthermore, sleep studies
suggest that when we operate on less than 6.5 hours of sleep
each night, our reaction time is slowed and we may be operating
as if intoxicated.
Finally, it’s clear there are a myriad of causations to
why our boys are having trouble coping in today’s
world, but if we come together, we can share more
ways to get involved. What will you do? Let’s make
this a call to action. P
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JUNE 2018