Happiful February 2020

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Photography | Naitian Tony Wang “ When admiring other people's gardens, don't forget to tend to your own f lowers – SANOBER KHAN
TRUE LIFE From client to counsellor Creativity had always helped Nicola Vanlint to thrive, until panic attacks ground her world to a halt. But now she’s combining her experiences to live her best life, and support others on their journeys, too Writing | Nicola Vanlint I loved my career as a fashion stylist – being creative, meeting new people, and travelling the world – until one day I experienced the horror of a panic attack, and my whole life changed... Growing up, I enjoyed primary school as I had the freedom to be creative, but when things became more academic in secondary school, that all changed. At the time I was unaware of my dyslexia, and thought that I was just stupid. When I left school in 1990, I came away with no qualifications. I worked in retail and customer services for a few years, until I was made redundant. I didn’t know what to do next, until I saw a job advertised for a part-time window dresser. Even the interview was fun, as I got to go around the store and gather items for a window display. I was offered a full-time position in their flagship store in Marble Arch and was over the moon – I still look back at that job with fond memories. Through my colleagues in the press office and PR, I first heard about fashion styling. I was excited that you could have a career in dressing people rather than mannequins, so I contacted some fashion stylists and offered to be their assistant on weekends. From collecting and returning clothes to PR companies, I then began assisting on some photoshoots. On these shoots the photographers always had assistants, like myself, who wanted to build a portfolio of work – in those days a qualification wasn’t required but a portfolio was. I started to do ‘test shoots’ where assistant stylists, make-up artists, photographers and budding models got together to create images for their portfolios. There, in 1998, my career began; I thought I was set up for a dazzling life in fashion for the rest of my career. Until one day that all changed. I was shopping with my fiancé, which resulted in a minor disagreement about what to buy. Not only was my reaction to him totally disproportionate to the event, but suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the world was closing in on me, I was dizzy and couldn’t see properly – I was even foaming at the mouth. I managed to get back to the car and collapsed on the floor, completely terrified and confused. I knew I had to make an appointment with my doctor, who advised me to talk to someone at Mindline – a helpline in south east London. Like my initial unawareness of styling, counselling was a complete unknown to me. I didn’t know anyone who’d had counselling, and couldn’t understand how simply talking to someone was going to stop these horrendous attacks. >>> <strong>February</strong> <strong>2020</strong> • happiful.com • 87
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Happiful February 2020

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