Happiful December 2020

Above: Hannah and her sister, Tash, in 1997
In 2015, my 20s came around and I applied
for university. I returned to London, reunited
with my sister and father, and got stuck in to my
studies. It was a classic university experience,
featuring many drunken nights out, and
hungover lectures. However, the golden people
are something I will never forget. I learnt to
I definitely made some horrible and
reckless decisions, often choosing
the path of self-destruction
navigate friendships and dynamics with women –
something I had avoided since my experience with
my mother. I learnt that people could be patient,
supportive, kind and forgiving. All these new traits
I hadn’t been exposed to before, allowed me to
forgive my mother, let her go, and put in the work
for myself.
Slowly, it was easier to put myself in
uncomfortable situations and work for a better
life. I came out as an Honours student in
Business Management, and on the Dean’s list
despite ongoing intense therapy for 18 months
(depression, anxiety, eating disorders, you name
it). I had to relive experiences and learn to
identify how the loss of my childhood manifested
in everyday life. I found yoga and trained as a
teacher, being able to be still in my body and mind
for the first time in my life. I had to invest just as
much time into myself as I did my academic and
professional achievements – but it paid off.
Looking back at the past couple of years, I’ve
had some great opportunities, and my career has
taken leaps. Now I’m in a company that continues
to astound me. It prioritises authenticity in all we
do, and always focuses on how we can protect
our mental health. My team has the most creative
minds and compassionate hearts, we spend our
days working with business owners and helping
them overcome those challenges.
It’s 2020, the year that shook the world, but I want
to wake up every day. My sister is my best friend
and rock; we often talk about the life we knew, and
how sometimes we can’t quite believe it happened
– or that we survived it. Here I am, after moving 18
times, I’m settled back home in London.
Along the way, I’ve learned a lot. And if I was to
speak to my younger self now, I would tell her:
• Do not run from your Asian heritage – this is
something you should be proud of, as it’s the
side of you that will make you feel most ‘whole’.
92 | happiful.com