Canto Cutie - Volume 2

Bianca Ng
Acrylic marker
It’s Me, Mom.
My parents gave up a comfortable life in China
so that their children could have better
opportunities. When they came to America,
like all immigrants, they struggled. First, they
had my sister, and four years later they had
me. I was sent back to China between the ages
of two and four. I stayed with my aunt and
uncle because my parents couldn’t afford to
care for both children at the same time.
Growing up, my mom fed me stories as though
this was a vacation, whether out of guilt,
survival, or ignorance. She shaped my story
before I even had time to process or react to
the experience.
When I started grade school in America, I
would share my story with my friends because
it felt like a cool fun fact. Something
interesting to say to fill the silences.
Somewhere between grade school and college,
this experience morphed into something
embarrassing at best and shameful at worst.
I’d realized no one else I’ve ever met could
relate to my story. I forgot about it entirely
until I began to explore my complicated
relationship with my mom through my
artwork and therapy.
In 2016 my friend sent me this compelling
essay on NPR written by Beth Fertig called “For
‘Satellite Babies,’ Separation Can Take Its Toll.”
It was about children born in the U.S. and
raised in China. My entire life I thought I was
the only person who went through this specific
relational trauma.