Canto Cutie - Volume 2

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During the first few years, babiesare developing an attachment totheir parents. When this isdisrupted either by neglect, abuse,or circumstance, it can have longtermeffects on their internalworking model. Children whoexperienced relational trauma candevelop avoidant or anxiousattachment styles instead ofsecure attachment styles. Thesparse memories I have of my timein China were negative. As a child,y o u a r e u n a b l e t o p r o c e s si n f o r m a t i o n s e p a r a t e f r o myourself. Everything that happensto you, you relate back to yourself.This thing happened. I must havedone something wrong. I must bebad.When you learn shame as a child,and that shame is reinforced earlyon, it becomes a habit, and thathabit becomes ingrained into yourinternal working model. As anadult, I can logically understandwhy my parents made that difficultdecision, but the habits and thefeelings of unworthiness do nothave an on and off switch. It stillaffects me.O n e o f t h e m o s t p o i g n a n tmemories I have, and it’s also thememory my mom used to recountcontinually, was when we werefirst reunited in China:“When I flew from America to pickyou up in China, I rushed from theairport to your boarding school.When I came to your classroom,you were handing out bread to theother kids. Then I called yourname, and you looked at me for afew seconds, but continuedhanding out bread. Finally, I said,‘Bianca, it’s me, Mom.’ From thatmoment on, you never le! my sideuntil we went back home toAmerica.”Back then, there was no FaceTime.I would only be able to talk on thephone with my parents. For twoyears, I never saw my parents ormy sister. The fact that I didn’tremember what my mom lookedlike makes me feel powerless forthe four-year-old me.This story asks more questionsthan it answers. I’m illustratingthis experience to bring awarenessabout the realities of the SatelliteBaby experience. It’s not a story ofblame or victimhood. It’s a story toshed light about a surprisinglycommon experience many ChineseAmericans go through, but that isnever openly discussed. I hope fort h i s w o r k o f a r t t o b e aconversation starter. I wonderabout children who had similarexperiences as me, and I wonderabout children who just grew upseparated from their parents dueto circumstance.How does this affect them intoadulthood?This artwork and personal essay isabout my experience navigatingfamilial trauma. As a daughter ofC a n t o n e s e i m m i g r a n t s a n dSatellite Baby, I question myrelationship with my parents,specifically my mom.
I'll Find You Again in 1981Kristie SongDigital Art@chinesefrecklesGrowing up with a Cantonese mother and a Mainland Chinese father, mymemories of navigating between these two cultures have always been fullof yearning. I spent weekends eating at dim sum restaurants or HongKong cafes, but we mostly spoke Putonghua at home. I long to understandand be immersed within the Cantonese part of my heritage, and I believewriting stories and joining communities like Canto Cutie will allow me todo so. Finally, I want to be a part of a diverse pool of voices and narrativesthat illustrate the multitudes that exist in the phrase: I am Cantonese.
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藝文聚粵Canto CutieAn art zi
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Table of ContentsForword by Katheri
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From the editorWhen I started this
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8Peachtree PlazaKaren Kar Yen LawMo
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Still Life at Popo'sMarissa De Sand
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14kaitlinchan.com@kaitlinmchan
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You use graphite as a texture for a
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18Calendar (2020), a 4-panel comic
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Intimacy is a theme subtly depicted
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Sai Mun Zai (2018), a comic origina
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In scanning vintage queer newslette
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2020——
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Jeffrey AndrewsThe Africa CenterHon
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Cute andCantonese:An identityrooted
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38A!er the Chinese government passe
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Cover ArtistCrystal Lee
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Crystal LeeHong KongCrystal Lee is
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W h a t w a s y o u r e x p e r i e
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You mentioned that youw a n t e d t
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Fish EyeTrigger warning: suicide id
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When a Fisheye is cooked, the trans
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A passage from the Bible: Citizens
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But ANON had never thought of dying
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The phenomenon has been ongoing for
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ANON never knew that there was an a
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babbled some gossips. She was out o
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Images on page 42 - 69 are part of
Page 70 and 71: 70Upheaval:A poetrycollectionon Hon
Page 72 and 73: cliff facedI am back but in what wa
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Page 77 and 78: Kei qin ahHalf bakedIt is dystopia
Page 80 and 81: Photos on page 75-79 are part of th
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Page 85 and 86: Annika ChengNew York, USAAnnika Che
Page 87 and 88: Being a BIPOC, especially an Asianp
Page 89 and 90: Annika ChengThe Shell of a MaskClea
Page 91 and 92: I think I was always interested in
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Page 95 and 96: Transportation came up a lot becaus
Page 97 and 98: Page 94-99:Annika ChengOur Home, Ho
Page 101 and 102: You write that you cut up your ownc
Page 103 and 104: When creating Beautiful American Ch
Page 105 and 106: When I was younger, I was very prou
Page 107 and 108: TikTok107
Page 109 and 110: Can you talk more about the process
Page 111 and 112: day go byHeady rush yesterday when
Page 113 and 114: Winnie ChanHong KongWinnie Chan is
Page 117 and 118: 19981997
Page 119 and 120: Bianca NgNew Jersey, USABianca Ng (
Page 126 and 127: Carefully stepover the gap ofmy ope
Page 128 and 129: Carefully step over the gap ofmy op
Page 130: To this day, the sound of Cantonese
Page 133 and 134: Whenever I commute around myhometow
Page 135 and 136: Photos on page 128-139 are part of
Page 137 and 138: This is about being aCantonese-Amer
Page 139 and 140: Arron LuoAtlanta, USAArron Luo (he/
Page 141 and 142: the ongoing push and pull and si! a
Page 143 and 144: Eating Siu Mai Doesn’tMake You Ca
Page 145 and 146: CUNG 4 GWONG 1saamsyuVideo still@sa
Page 147 and 148: This triptych artwork, “,” is a
Page 149 and 150: MondaysIrene KwanIllustration & dig
Page 151 and 152: stood out to me like an eyesore. It
Page 153: I am so glad to have made new frien
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Canto Cutie - Volume 2

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