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Let Me Help You<br />

By: Dan Roberts / Roberts Rules<br />

No good deed goes unpunished.<br />

As discussed in last month’s issue, my<br />

Vegas Voice partner of 14 years, Ray Sarbacker<br />

retired. I’ve previously announced on more occasions than I can count<br />

that Ray was the finest graphic artist in Nevada. His numerous national<br />

awards speak for themselves.<br />

With Ray gone, who does The Vegas Voice look to for future graphics?<br />

One volunteer immediately and eagerly<br />

raised her hand – my PILL (partner in<br />

love & life) and the new President of<br />

our “media empire” Rana Goodman.<br />

She reminded me that she had<br />

“Photoshop” installed on her computer<br />

and although it was an older version,<br />

she would purchase the newest version<br />

and PRESTO, we’re as good as new.<br />

And that’s when the fun began.<br />

After receiving it, she discovered that<br />

her computer did not have enough<br />

RAM memory (whatever that is) to<br />

accommodate the new Photoshop<br />

program.<br />

Upon consulting with her grandson, she was told that it was not a<br />

problem. She just needed to order a larger RAM Memory Card.<br />

“Open the computer, take out the old one and snap in the new one”<br />

the grandson confidently advised. “Any idiot can do that”<br />

Immediately “this idiot” proclaimed, “don’t even think of me<br />

helping.” I readily admit that I do not have a clue about this (or any)<br />

technology. With my level of “smarts” I’m just ecstatic when I can turn<br />

on the computer and get my email.<br />

“I don’t need you” my Ladylove exclaimed. “I’ll do it myself.”<br />

Thanks to Amazon, the new RAM Memory Card was delivered the<br />

next day. And (of course) it was the wrong size. Undeterred, my Rana<br />

re-ordered another set, and once again, it did not fit.<br />

After struggling a few hours, like a dog with a bone, Rana growled<br />

in frustration and began using some of her native British expressions.<br />

“Bloody hell, Oh, Crykie damn it!”<br />

While those words are nowhere near as colorful as my Bronx<br />

expressions I’ve used watching my NY Giants football games, I<br />

understood the concept. Although our family feline, Eli didn’t flinch,<br />

you better believe Yours Truly scampered out of her office like a terrified<br />

cat.<br />

After a drink (or two), she decided to call Best Buy and to her delight,<br />

was told it was not a real issue. Simply bring in the computer and their<br />

Geek Squad will handle it.<br />

And so began our weekly trips to this store.<br />

Once there, as I hid behind their new HDTVs, Rana was informed<br />

that her six-year-old computer was sooooo outdated perhaps she<br />

should purchase a new one.<br />

With me dropping to my knees and begging her to “forget about<br />

it” my (not stubborn, mind you but determined) Rana purchased,<br />

not another computer, but a super-charged (and naturally expensive)<br />

laptop.<br />

You can guess the rest. After countless attempts trying to figure out<br />

“where all her files went” she now signed up for classes to learn how to<br />

use all this “great and wonderful” technology.<br />

“This is the last straw!” my Rana finally admitted after weekly<br />

trips to the store and countless telephone calls to the “help centers”.<br />

“If this doesn’t work, I’ll get rid of the<br />

(expletive deleted here) RAM memory<br />

card, Photoshop upgrade and keep<br />

what I have.” Problem solved!<br />

As for our required graphics…<br />

Anybody know a graphic artist?<br />

*With everything going on in this<br />

world; two wars, a super ugly national<br />

election on the horizon and an economy<br />

that, notwithstanding what the experts<br />

claim is recovering (those guys must<br />

be the ones that can afford the price of<br />

gas) I cannot think of anything more<br />

important than “family.”<br />

Now my concept of “family” is not strictly blood relations. It includes<br />

those that always have your back and is there for you when times get<br />

tough.<br />

For my Rana and me, it’s our “Vegas Voice family.” This family<br />

consists of our ever increasing number of columnists, advertisers and<br />

you – our readers.<br />

Now we may not always agree and recognize that every family has<br />

its dysfunctional members (and god knows we have ours, but that’s for<br />

another column) however my PILL and I have come to recognize these<br />

once strangers as members of our family.<br />

And for that, we are most fortunate and blessed.<br />

From the bottom of our collective hearts, our family<br />

wishes you the happiest of holidays and that the New Year<br />

brings you and yours all the smiles, joy, happiness (and<br />

health) that life has to offer.<br />

Outstanding in Every Way<br />

The Folk Legacy Trio performs before a packed and jubilant<br />

audience last month at Sun City MacDonald Ranch. Once again, they<br />

delighted and thrilled the capacity audience with their spectacular and<br />

outstanding performance.<br />

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