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Let Me Help You<br />
By: Dan Roberts / Roberts Rules<br />
No good deed goes unpunished.<br />
As discussed in last month’s issue, my<br />
Vegas Voice partner of 14 years, Ray Sarbacker<br />
retired. I’ve previously announced on more occasions than I can count<br />
that Ray was the finest graphic artist in Nevada. His numerous national<br />
awards speak for themselves.<br />
With Ray gone, who does The Vegas Voice look to for future graphics?<br />
One volunteer immediately and eagerly<br />
raised her hand – my PILL (partner in<br />
love & life) and the new President of<br />
our “media empire” Rana Goodman.<br />
She reminded me that she had<br />
“Photoshop” installed on her computer<br />
and although it was an older version,<br />
she would purchase the newest version<br />
and PRESTO, we’re as good as new.<br />
And that’s when the fun began.<br />
After receiving it, she discovered that<br />
her computer did not have enough<br />
RAM memory (whatever that is) to<br />
accommodate the new Photoshop<br />
program.<br />
Upon consulting with her grandson, she was told that it was not a<br />
problem. She just needed to order a larger RAM Memory Card.<br />
“Open the computer, take out the old one and snap in the new one”<br />
the grandson confidently advised. “Any idiot can do that”<br />
Immediately “this idiot” proclaimed, “don’t even think of me<br />
helping.” I readily admit that I do not have a clue about this (or any)<br />
technology. With my level of “smarts” I’m just ecstatic when I can turn<br />
on the computer and get my email.<br />
“I don’t need you” my Ladylove exclaimed. “I’ll do it myself.”<br />
Thanks to Amazon, the new RAM Memory Card was delivered the<br />
next day. And (of course) it was the wrong size. Undeterred, my Rana<br />
re-ordered another set, and once again, it did not fit.<br />
After struggling a few hours, like a dog with a bone, Rana growled<br />
in frustration and began using some of her native British expressions.<br />
“Bloody hell, Oh, Crykie damn it!”<br />
While those words are nowhere near as colorful as my Bronx<br />
expressions I’ve used watching my NY Giants football games, I<br />
understood the concept. Although our family feline, Eli didn’t flinch,<br />
you better believe Yours Truly scampered out of her office like a terrified<br />
cat.<br />
After a drink (or two), she decided to call Best Buy and to her delight,<br />
was told it was not a real issue. Simply bring in the computer and their<br />
Geek Squad will handle it.<br />
And so began our weekly trips to this store.<br />
Once there, as I hid behind their new HDTVs, Rana was informed<br />
that her six-year-old computer was sooooo outdated perhaps she<br />
should purchase a new one.<br />
With me dropping to my knees and begging her to “forget about<br />
it” my (not stubborn, mind you but determined) Rana purchased,<br />
not another computer, but a super-charged (and naturally expensive)<br />
laptop.<br />
You can guess the rest. After countless attempts trying to figure out<br />
“where all her files went” she now signed up for classes to learn how to<br />
use all this “great and wonderful” technology.<br />
“This is the last straw!” my Rana finally admitted after weekly<br />
trips to the store and countless telephone calls to the “help centers”.<br />
“If this doesn’t work, I’ll get rid of the<br />
(expletive deleted here) RAM memory<br />
card, Photoshop upgrade and keep<br />
what I have.” Problem solved!<br />
As for our required graphics…<br />
Anybody know a graphic artist?<br />
*With everything going on in this<br />
world; two wars, a super ugly national<br />
election on the horizon and an economy<br />
that, notwithstanding what the experts<br />
claim is recovering (those guys must<br />
be the ones that can afford the price of<br />
gas) I cannot think of anything more<br />
important than “family.”<br />
Now my concept of “family” is not strictly blood relations. It includes<br />
those that always have your back and is there for you when times get<br />
tough.<br />
For my Rana and me, it’s our “Vegas Voice family.” This family<br />
consists of our ever increasing number of columnists, advertisers and<br />
you – our readers.<br />
Now we may not always agree and recognize that every family has<br />
its dysfunctional members (and god knows we have ours, but that’s for<br />
another column) however my PILL and I have come to recognize these<br />
once strangers as members of our family.<br />
And for that, we are most fortunate and blessed.<br />
From the bottom of our collective hearts, our family<br />
wishes you the happiest of holidays and that the New Year<br />
brings you and yours all the smiles, joy, happiness (and<br />
health) that life has to offer.<br />
Outstanding in Every Way<br />
The Folk Legacy Trio performs before a packed and jubilant<br />
audience last month at Sun City MacDonald Ranch. Once again, they<br />
delighted and thrilled the capacity audience with their spectacular and<br />
outstanding performance.<br />
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