A Judge’s Guide

MANAGING THE CHILD CUSTODY CASE
both parents, and decreases the incentive for parents to attack each other through
the process of the litigation. Of course, these programs should not be used when
domestic violence or similar concerns are at issue.
Divorce Education Programs for Parents
The intent of the divorce education seminar is to introduce a mindset early
in the divorce process that there is a healthy way to divorce. Parents learn
that they can make responsible decisions about their children, that
children need each parent to be appropriately involved, and that parents
need to put their adult relationship aside to communicate about their
children. A typical seminar, ranging from two to eight hours, includes:
• Discussing grief and loss.
• Explaining family changes from a child’s perspective.
• Understanding the developmental response to divorce.
• Learning communication, problem solving, anger management,
and conflict resolution skills.
• Maintaining good parent-child relationships.
• Building constructive co-parent relationships.
Mediation
In many states, once a petition for divorce or custody is filed or it becomes
apparent that a case is likely to be litigated, parties are ordered to participate in
mediation. In others, mediation is voluntary. In contrast to the situation in which
attorneys for parties in consultation with their clients arrive at a settlement,
mediation is a process whereby a neutral, trained professional facilitates the
development of a case settlement or parenting plan agreeable to the parties.
Sometimes, a settlement can only be reached on one or two issues. In other cases,
a settlement can be reached on all issues.
Courts with alternative dispute resolution programs typically find that these
programs are effective in diminishing the number of contested cases coming
before judges. 91 Because all parties are encouraged to participate actively during
mediation sessions, they may feel that they have had more input into the process
and, as such, are more likely to comply with an agreement. Mimi Lyster, an expert
on parenting plans, discusses the benefits of negotiation:
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