A Judge’s Guide

Parenting
Considerations
Information
Needed to Assess
Parenting in
Relation to
Developmental
DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS
Instead ask general questions about what courses the adolescent is
taking and what interests them.
How does the adolescent perceive his or her parents’ relationship?
How does this perception affect the adolescent’s relationships
outside the family? Who does the adolescent spend the most time
with outside the family and how do they spend their time
together?
Parenting an older adolescent or high school-aged youth requires a delicate
balance. On one hand, the older adolescent is still a child inside an adult body.
The parent needs to be there to comfort, support, and guide the adolescent into
adulthood and through the maze of difficult life decisions. On the other hand, the
parent needs to permit independence for the sake of the adolescent’s future
growth and development.
Divorce often disrupts the adolescent’s sense of security and rootedness at this
critical juncture. As a result, there is a risk that the adolescent may either
withdraw into the family situation or become prematurely independent. A parent,
for example, may be unable to “let go” and give the adolescent an appropriate
level of independence because the divorce compounds the sense of loss. It is
critical for the parent to promote the adolescent’s independence while still
offering guidance and setting limits.
The following information should be obtained from parents, mental health
professionals, court-appointed evaluators, teachers, physicians, and other
professionals involved in meeting the physical, educational, and psychological
needs of a child:
Needs How does the parent express unconditional love through time
spent with the adolescent, affection, and acknowledgement of the
adolescent’s milestones?
Does the parent support the adolescent’s participation in ageappropriate
activities, to include financial, transportation, and
psychological support? Does the parent attend events that the
adolescent wants the parent to attend?
How well informed is the parent of the adolescent’s school
attendance, standardized and special testing, and history of report
cards? Is the parent aware of changes in academic performance?
How does the parent reassure the child that the parent will be
supportive of the child’s future? Does the parent help the
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