A Judge’s Guide

Special
Considerations
DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS
As mentioned earlier, it may be particularly difficult for a child of this age to adapt
both to the transition into a more formal learning environment and to family
change. The early elementary school-aged child still derives a sense of security in
predictable family rituals and schedules. The common fears for this age group,
including a fear of abandonment, can be exacerbated by the separation and further
undermine their sense of security. “Who will take care of me if something
happens to Mommy or Daddy?” Fear and anxiety may be particularly marked
during transition times between households.
It is important to acknowledge the child’s perspective, yet look beyond the “black
and white” to the shades of gray. For example, a child may have strong objection
to a significant other or a stepparent even though in reality this person may offer
critical support and understanding. Remember that children at this age often
express a desire to see their parents back together despite all odds.
Be aware of suggestibility. At this age, a child may be
particularly prone to suggestibility or “brainwashing.” Seek a
professional referral if necessary.
Simplify the schedule. Make sure that the parenting schedule
is stated simply so that the child can understand it. Unless the
child is particularly flexible, it is probably not the age to try creative
parenting arrangements. Like the preschooler, the early elementary
school-aged child still derives a sense of security from
predictability and consistency in family routines. It is a good age
for parents to use calendars to help the child predict daily and
weekly activities and transitions.
Minimize change. As stated before, there is a lot of change
already taking place in the life of an early elementary school-aged
child. Too many changes that interrupt established interests and
activities can undermine a growing sense of competency.
Behavioral concerns. What a judge learns about certain
behaviors a child demonstrates, and how each parent is responding
to the behaviors, will assist the court in developing an effective
custody agreement. The following suggest that the child is
depressed and/or caught in an unhealthy pattern of family
dynamics, and may require a referral to a mental health
professional for either individual or group counseling:
The child is shuttling messages between the parents in the role
of “messenger.”
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