FORMAL COMPLAINT - Sweden Confidential

United Nations petition — incomplete report
to the funny farm at Hjelset right east of NO-Molde —
My first encounter with the loony bin at Hjelset proceeded pretty much as be-
forehand expected — never previously interned, I was certainly well prepared
for the fiendish absurdities awaiting me though.....!
From 1975–1979 I was an active member of the Norwegian Boy Scouts movement,
and much of the time I functioned as a Scoutmaster. One of the lads I
taught e.g first aid, pioneering/bivouacking, semaphoring/morsing, splicing/
knotting/roping, religion, lifeline maneuvering, improvised cooking, tracking,
map/compass reading, mountaineering and general outdoor survival etc, was
aforesaid — Mr Jon Rune NYGÅRD.
I can‘t say any of the scouts proved eminently teachable, and when Mr Nygård
finally managed to learn the Morse code by heart, he was immensely proud! —
as a matter of fact he earnestly recalled this ―mnemonic achievement‖ as one of
his truly remarkable intellectual feats for many years onwards.....!
Certainly not the brightest in my scout troop, Mr Nygård nevertheless surpassed
everybody in one, distinct discipline: malingering!
Instructing both Boy and Girl Scouts in first aid techniques as v.g cardiopulmo-
nary resuscitation, complicated fracture treatment, pulmonary edema relief,
arrest of arterial bleeding, management of traumatic diaphragm hernia, minor
surgery and emergency handling of second and third degree burns etc, Mr
Nygård unquestionably was the choicest casualty dummy!
Cosmetically pallid, pseudo-wounds frightfully agape and with artificial blood
trickling from ears and mouth etc, he most definitely seemed death-struck, and
several times persons unfamiliar with his bizarre talent for simulation indeed felt
convinced they faced an authentic emergency situation.....!
As Mr Nygård commenced secondary education, parts of his personality
changed for the worse — he became nauseatingly stuck-up, machinating and
outright mendacious. He‘d left the Boy Scouts a few years earlier, and without
the positively stabilizing influence from this uncorrupted youth movement he
soon proved a willing victim for the depraving impact wielded by some of his
classmates. One day I accidentally met Mr Nygård in NO-Mauseidvåg, he
straightaway confessed he‘d planned to harm me in one way or another. This
sudden hostility was totally unprovoked and unreasonable, so I immediately
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FORMAL COMPLAINT VS THE KINGDOM OF NORWAY
by Wilh. Werner WINTHER, Norway
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